Be a Good Kisser
Whether it’s a friendly kiss on the cheek or a full-on make-out session, kissing is one of life’s greatest natural pleasures. While a good kiss can increase the feelings of intimacy and love you have for your partner, a bad kiss can potentially be a deal breaker in matters of romance. Don’t panic though — even the most inexperienced people have the potential to become masters of the art of lip locking. Read this article to learn how.
Contents
Steps
Setting Up the Kiss
- Prepare your lips. Keep your lips relaxed and open slightly to let your partner know that you are ready for a kiss.
- Avoid puckering or pursing them, as this will send the wrong message and make kissing physically difficult.
- Tackle dryness with chapstick or by licking your lips slightly. Ladies, try using chapstick or lip balm rather than lip gloss, as lip gloss can be sticky, while chapstick can make your lips irresistibly soft, shiny and tasty.
- Freshen your breath. The importance of good oral hygiene cannot be underestimated when it comes to kissing is a pretty terrible turn-off. To avoid having a smell breath when you go in for your kiss, remember to floss and brush your teeth before your date and keep a small packet of mints on your person throughout the evening, so you can quickly pop one in your mouth as soon as things start to heat up.
- If you're going on a dinner date, try to steer clear of very pungent or malodorous foods -- avoid things like cheese, fish, raw onions, or anything heavy on garlic.
- Don't overdo it on the minty freshness though—you don't your mouth to taste like you just swallowed an entire tube of toothpaste!
- You can also chew on a fruity piece of gum if mint is not your favorite flavor.
- If you don’t have any mints or gum, go to the bathroom and rinse your mouth out to help freshen up your breath.
- Set the mood. Let your partner know that you want to kiss him or her by maintaining eye contact and smiling. Be a little flirtatious, and break the ‘touch barrier’. The touch barrier is when you and your partner have never actually made physical contact. Break the barrier by placing your hand on his or her arm when you laugh, holding hands, or brushing your knee against your partner’s while you are sitting down.
- If you are in the middle of a conversation, then slow it down and lower your voice slightly to signal that you’re ready to stop talking and start smooching.
- Some people get so nervous before the first kiss with a new partner that they end up talking too much in order to fill the silence. Avoid doing this as it could ruin the moment and make your partner lose interest.
- Be confident in yourself. Being calm and confident can give your kissing skills the boost they need. Confidence is very attractive, so tell yourself that the kiss you are about to have will be amazing—even if this is your first kiss.
- Don’t be afraid to practice your kissing technique on something like your hand or a pillow. You can also try licking a lollipop or eating an ice cream cone so the muscles and nerves in your lips and mouth can get used to the movement you will be doing when you French kiss.
- It takes a bit of bravery to put yourself out there and go for a kiss, so muster up as much bravery as you can.
- Lean in for a kiss. When you're ready and you think the moment is right, take a step closer to your partner and lean in for the kiss. If you want to add to the romance, you can do something intimate like touching your partner's face or brushing the hair out of their eyes right before you lean in.
- Watch your partner as you lean in to determine whether to tilt your head to the left or to the right. Remember to move your head in the opposite direction to your partner’s. However, do not stare at your partner, simply subtly check to see which way they are tilting their head.
- You should also tilt your head back slightly and point your lips and chin forward to avoid banging your foreheads together.
- Close your eyes. Sometimes in the nervousness leading up to a first kiss, you can forget to close your eyes. This is bad for two reasons: firstly, it probably means that you are overthinking things. Closing your eyes allows you to relax, let go of your inhibitions and just enjoy the moment.
- Secondly, if your partner opens their eyes during the kiss and finds you staring straight back at them, it would be kind of creepy and will probably kill the romance.
- A word of warning though—don't close your eyes until after you have found the other person's lips, otherwise you're likely to bump foreheads, noses, or chins.
Perfecting a Close-Lipped Kiss
- Start off slow. To begin your kiss, keep your mouth closed. You don’t want to rush your partner or seem overly eager. Start off with a few slow, gentle kisses, lingering on your partner’s lips each time.
- Keep things interesting by repositioning your lips in between each kiss. Tilt your head slightly more to the left or slightly more to the right, or switch sides entirely so that your head is now tilted in the opposite direction as before.
- Look up into your partner’s eyes in between kisses. After the first kiss, draw back very slightly and look at your partner. This will allow you to do two things. First, you will be able to assess if they are in to the kiss to and you should keep going.
- Second, you can take a moment to heighten the romance by looking into your partner’s eyes and making a small gesture, like putting your hand behind his or her neck and drawing your partner back into another kiss (if that seems to be what he or she wants).
- Consider putting your arms around your partner. Kissing is an intimate experience; while leaning in for a kiss in the beginning is normal, standing sort of far away with only your lips touching might come across as a bit odd. Once your partner is receptive to your kisses, move closer and make more physical contact. Ways to do this include:
- Wrapping your arms around her shoulders or his waist.
- Putting your hand on the back of his or her neck to deepen the kiss.
- Running your hands through his or her hair.
- Pressing up against each other so that very little space is left between you.
- Don’t forget to breathe. Since your mouth is occupied, you will need to breathe through your nose while kissing. If you are not getting enough air that way, then pull your face away from your partner’s every once in a while to catch your breath. Make sure to keep the kiss though! (If you want to).
Perfecting an Open-Mouthed Kiss
- Open your mouth a little bit. Once you have been kissing without tongue for a bit, it’s time to take it to the next level. Lock lips with your partner so that his or her bottom lip is in between your two lips, and then open your mouth slightly to signify that you’re ready to French kiss.
- Of course, don’t open your mouth so wide that you seem like you are engulfing your partner’s face. Instead, open your mouth subtly and seductively.
- Continue to kiss open mouthed but without tongue for awhile. Before you begin to French kiss, spend some time kissing open-mouthed to slowly ease your way into a more passionate kiss.
- If you are having trouble finding a kissing rhythm, try mouthing the word “peaches” (though obviously don’t say the word out loud); this may help you to find a rhythm with your partner. You can also try mouthing the word “ma”.
- Use a little bit of tongue. Start off gently at first, moving your tongue into the front of your partner’s mouth. Avoid immediately jamming your tongue too far into his or her mouth, as this can be a major turn-off. Move your tongue in slow, fluid movements around the other person’s tongue and allow them to reciprocate before going any further.
- Start off by gently touching the tip of your tongue to the tip of your partner’s tongue.
- Pay attention to your partner’s movements. Being a good kisser is about being in sync with the other person and finding a rhythm that works for both of you. If they begin to draw back, withdraw your tongue.
- Use a little more tongue. If both of you feel comfortable with the deepened kiss, you can move your tongue deeper into your partner’s mouth and begin massaging their tongue with yours. Slow and playful motions with your tongue can be arousing and will help you to deepen the kiss. Allow your tongue to travel around your partner’s mouth and make circles around your partner’s tongue. However, there are definitely some things that you want to avoid as the kiss gets deeper.
- Don’t try to shove your tongue far back into your partner’s mouth. This could cause your partner an unpleasant sensation much like choking.
- Do not thrust your tongue in and out of your partner’s mouth. Slow, gentle movements will be a whole lot more intimate than a wild propeller of a tongue jabbing at your partner’s face.
- Do not add so much tongue that you are essentially licking your partner’s face. Wet kisses tend to come across as sloppy, so try to avoid getting saliva on your partner’s lips of face.
- Adjust to your partner’s style of kissing. Part of being a great kisser is being able to adjust to the style of kissing that your partner likes. Try different things while you kiss your partner and see how they react. For instance, you could try using a bit more tongue, or ‘tongue wrestling’ with your partner’s tongue.
- It is important to remember that everyone has a different style of kissing. It might take a little while for you to find a rhythm with your partner, but just remember that they are paying attention to your movements too. Kissing is a duet, not a solo.
- Try not to knock teeth. One thing that can take a bit of the romance out of a kiss is knocking teeth together. When making out, try to keep your teeth out of the way by tilting your head to different angles. Don’t open your mouth too wide, or it may become easier to accidentally knock teeth.
- Consider sucking on your partner’s bottom lip. Try gently (emphasis on gently) biting or sucking your partner's lower or upper lip. If done correctly, this can be a major turn-on for the other person.
- If your sucking is pulling your partner’s lip far away from their face, you are probably sucking too hard. Keep your sucking gentle and playful, rather than hard or intense.
- Use your hands. Place your hands gently on your partner’s waist, shoulders, face, or neck if they are not there already. If things get heated up, grab your partner harder and move your hands from one body part to the other. Using your hand on your partner's shoulder or neck you can communicate things like "come closer" "I liked that" or "more".
- Increase the intensity of the moment by placing your hands on the back of your partner’s head and grabbing his or her hair. You can also run your hands along his or her spine.
- However, do not hold your partner so tightly that he or she feels trapped. Let go if your partner begins to draw back or move away. Never grope your partner without their consent. Stay away from "bathing suit" areas until you know that your partner wants you to touch them there.
- Do something different. Being a good kisser isn't about doing everything perfectly -- that can become a little mechanical. Sometimes it's good to throw something a bit different into the mix, something that surprises your partner (in a good way) and leaves them wanting more.
- Try licking the center of your partner's open lips with your tongue, or using your tongue to briefly stroke the roof of their mouth. They may find this unusual, but super sexy.
- Try inhaling through your mouth instead of your nose when your lips are sealed together -- like you're taking their breath into your body. This can be extremely intimate -- as long as it's not overused.
- Try trailing kisses towards your partner’s ear and gently sucking on his or her earlobe (be careful of earrings!).
- Kiss other parts of your partner’s body. Being a kisser also includes being able to kiss your partner on other places besides their lips. After you have been making out for awhile, allow your mouth to wander. Trail kisses across your partner’s face and down his or her neck or shoulder (if he is her shoulder is exposed).
- Make sure that you are not trailing saliva across your partner's neck. Keep these sort of kisses dry but intimate.
- Be passionate. The more excited you are about the kiss, the more excited your partner will be. You should be completely present in the moment and try to avoid letting your mind wander to other things. Allow yourself to relax, and don’t spend the entire time wondering what the other person is thinking — go with the flow and have fun!
- If your phone rings, do not pick it up. That will make your partner think that you were uninterested in the kiss. Focus entirely on your partner and what is happening between you.
Kissing in a Non-Romantic Way
- Decide when and where to kiss this person. Non-romantic kisses are appropriate for friends and family members who you care for deeply. These types of kisses are appropriate for the cheek, hand and forehead in some instances.
- In many cultures, it is appropriate to kiss a friend or family member once or twice on the cheek when greeting each other or parting ways. Forehead kisses are usually more romantic in nature, and are appropriate for lovers, close friends, and/or exes.
- Pucker your lips. For a friendly kiss, you should always keep your lips pursed together and completely dry. Wet kisses can be extremely unpleasant, so be sure to wipe your mouth beforehand if necessary!
- Ladies, if you are wearing lipstick or lipgloss, it might be a good idea to wipe it off with a napkin beforehand (unless, of course, you are purposely trying to leave a kiss-mark on this person’s cheek).
- Go in for the kiss. Be sure to keep the kiss(es) short and sweet to avoid sending the wrong message or making the other person feel uncomfortable.
- Avoid lingering too long, unless you are hoping that the non-romantic kiss will turn into something more than that.
Tips
- Relax. Kissing should be an enjoyable activity. The more relaxed and confident you feel, the better your kisses will be.
- Be fully present. If you are bored, distracted, or overly nervous, it will be hard to deliver a passionate kiss. If you are excited, your partner will be, too.
- As with any other skill, French kissing takes practice. The more experience you have, the less nervous you will feel and the more you will learn about how to please your partner(s).
- Mints are your best friends. Pop one in about 10 minutes before the end of the date. Avoid chewing gum as your partner doesn't want to feel that in your mouth.
- The best way to keep your lips kissable and soft year-round is to stay properly hydrated and exfoliate your lips occasionally using a toothbrush or loofah.
