Kiss a Boy
Locking lips with a cute guy might seem intimidating, but it's easier than you think! He'll most likely be flattered that you took the lead (though there are ways to make him think kissing you was his idea, too). Here's what to do.
Contents
Steps
Showing Him You're Kissable
- Flirt him up. If you can master the art of subtle flirting, he might even kiss you (and think it was his idea in the first place!). Remember that flirting is about showing him you are interested in a sexy and compelling way, so don't be afraid to put yourself out there a little bit. Here are some basics you should know:
- Smile. Your smile is your best weapon, so use it! Whenever you see the object of your future lip-lockery, communicate that you're happy to see him with a little grin. Step it up a level by smiling at him across a room like this: lock eyes, let the smile spread slowly across your face, then look away. He'll be hooked.
- Do light touches. Find excuses to touch him in small, fleeting ways, such as lightly laying a hand on his arm while he's talking or "accidentally" bumping into him gently when you're walking together.
- Pay him a compliment. Boys love to be complimented just as much as girls do! Focus on a quality you genuinely like about him — whether it's his eyes, his sense of humor, his hair, and so on — and tell him why you appreciate it. Because compliments traditionally run one way, from guy to girl, it'll make you stand out to him.
- A nice compliment doesn't have to be complicated. If you're really struggling with how to pull it off, just do this: look him in the eyes, spit out what you have to say ("Has anyone told you yet that your hair looks amazing that way?"), smile, and carry on as usual. Done!
- Use texts or chatting to your advantage. Don't go overboard and message him constantly, but do send a few texts every so often. If you do it right, he won't be able to stop thinking about you; if you do it too much, though, he'll get annoyed. Here are a few guidelines:
- End the conversation early. Don't let the exchange drag on so long that it becomes boring and labored. Instead, bow out while it's still interesting so that he'll already be looking forward to the next time he talks with you.
- Spark up a conversation with something other than "hi." Having a more specific opening gives you something to talk about, instead of just awkwardly asking how it's going. Tell him what you're doing, ask about his plans for an upcoming event (like a dance, homework assignment or holiday), or bring up an inside joke. Whatever it is, it should be something that invites him to text you back.
- Set up the next interaction before you leave the conversation (optional). If you want to get him hooked for next time, try to set up something for the future before you leave. For instance, it could be something like "I'll have to get more music recommendations from you tomorrow" or "We should check out [insert place here] sometime!"
- Look the part. If you want to kiss a boy (or have him kiss you!), step up your looks a little bit. There's no need to go into full makeover mode, but there are a few small things you can do to make yourself more appealing. Try focusing on these areas:
- Smell amazing. Boys (and people in general) are subconsciously more attracted to people who smell appealing. Shower at least once a day (and twice if you tend to get sweaty or dirty), wear deodorant, and find a perfume or body spray that smells nice with your individual body chemistry. Apply scent to your wrists, your throat and the back of your knees. If you really want to cover your bases, use a scented body wash and lotion as well.
- Rock luscious lips. Get rid of chapped skin by gently brushing over your lips with a toothbrush, then apply lip balm to keep them soft. For a pop of color, try a lip stain or lipstick.
- Avoid using sticky lip glosses. They look nice, but they're terrible for kissing.
- Pay attention to your hair. Most guys won't notice what you're actually doing with your hair, they'll just note whether or not it looks awesome. Make the extra effort by adding 5 or 10 minutes to your routine in the morning, or try some of the looks in How to Do Simple and Cute Hairstyles.
- Officially break the "touch barrier." Even if you've tried some light, flirty touches, breaking the touch barrier in a really noticeable way can help make your intentions clear. If he responds well to the smaller touches, go bigger! Here are a few classics:
- Sit closer to him. If you're sitting together on a couch or in a car, move in closer than you need to. If he seems to like it, you're on the right track.
- Try holding his hand. If you see a good opening for slipping your hand into his, take it! Or, make your hand look available for holding by avoiding folding your arms or twiddling your thumbs.
- Go in for a hug. This works best when you're leaving or parting. Lean in for a hug, putting your arms around his neck or shoulders, and hold it for two or three seconds before pulling away. That should seem long enough to feel intimate, but not so long that the hug gets awkward.
- Make it easy for him to get you alone. Boys often complain that girls move in packs so much that it's difficult to get one-on-one time, so make it easy for him! Hang back from the crowd, or go outside to grab some fresh air. If you really want to make sure you're alone, you could always ask him out on a solo date.
- If you're trying to get him alone, find opportunities to pull away from the crowd. Ask if he'd like to step outside for a bit, offer to walk home with him or help run tedious errands, or drop by his house and ask if he'd like to go out for a bit.
- Find a romantic moment. If you time it right, an intimate atmosphere can do half the work and help him see you in a sexy light. Consider these aspects:
- Try to be alone with him, and if there are any lulls in the conversation, let them happen. Remember, he can't kiss you if you don't stop talking.
- Hang out in forgiving lighting. There's a reason why most kisses don't happen in broad daylight: because softer light glosses over flaws and seems more romantic. Sunsets, campfires, candlelight, rainy days and soft porch lights at night can all make you look more appealing.
Going in for the Kiss
- Break the kiss barrier (optional). If you're feeling brave, test the waters by planting a kiss on his cheek next time you're saying goodbye. You're probably clear to kiss him on the lips later if he seems to like it.
- Don't just give him a quick peck. Keep your lips soft, and angle slightly up toward his ear or down toward the corner of his mouth. He'll get the message.
- Lock eyes. Be bold about making eye contact and do it often, especially right before you're about to go in for the liplock. Make sure that your eyes are settled on him and aren't distracted . Not only does looking deep into his eyes seem romantic, it also communicates that you're honest and sincere.
- Keep your body language open. How you carry yourself can tell him a lot about how you feel. Making your posture open makes it a lot easier to move in for a kiss and, when you do, he won't be as surprised. Try these:
- Don't fold your arms, twiddle your thumbs, or clasp your hands together. If you can't help fidgeting, put your hands behind your back so that you look open from the front.
- Orient your body toward him. If you're standing, keep your toes pointed at him. If you're sitting, point your knees.
- Cross your ankles instead of your legs. Instead of tightly crossing your legs when you sit down, cross at your ankles instead. It looks open, but still demure.
- Don't try to hide your nervousness. If you're blushing, fidgeting or twirling your hair too much, let it happen! Obvious signs that you're anxious mean you like him a lot, and he'll probably know to take it as a compliment.
- Get close. Find an excuse to sit or stand close to him, and lean in so that your face is inches away from his. As you do this, maintain eye contact.
- Gauge his reaction. It should be pretty obvious that you're leaning in to kiss him, so watch how he responds. If he doesn't pull away, you're probably clear to go ahead.
- Make it extra obvious. If you're not sure that he's getting the point, smile slowly and close your eyes — that should be a huge signal that you're going to kiss him.
Kissing Techniques
- Keep your lips light and soft (at first). When you first make contact, lightly graze your lips over his. Try to keep your pressure light and your movements slow and gentle. If it seems like he's enjoying it, you can ramp it up in a little bit.
- Avoid putting your lips into a tight pucker — that's a position reserved for non-romantic kissing, and might communicate the wrong idea.
- Put your hands to good use. Don't just let your hands sit there — use them to make the kiss better! Try these moves:
- Rest them on his shoulders, hips or chest, or on the sides of his face.
- Tangle your fingers up in his hair.
- Use your hands to pull him closer.
- Mix it up. As you get more comfortable, you can make the pressure more insistent or the kisses faster. Keep the kiss interesting by changing up the intensity and speed, and try to avoid settling into one technique for too long.
- Ease into French kissing (optional). You don't have to French kiss to have a great smooch, but it can kick the romance up a notch. Here's how to get it started:
- Open your mouth slightly. Part your lips enough that you could comfortably get your tongue through them.
- Lightly run your tongue over his lower lip. Keep the contact brief, no more than a second or two, then pull your tongue back. If he's interested, he might do it back to you.
- Tilt your head to the side a bit. French kissing is easier if one person's mouth is tilted significantly sideways. This prevents your noses and teeth from bumping.
- Move your tongue into his mouth in light, darting movements. The most important trick to French kissing is to keep your tongue in motion — don't let it just rest limply inside his mouth. As with when you started kissing, try to keep the pressure light and the movement gentle. Remember, you can always go harder and faster later.
- Leave him wanting more. Ending the kiss before it gets boring is the best way to leave off. If you stop while it's still fun, he'll instantly be looking forward to next time. Pull back, look into his eyes, and smile.
Test Your Knowledge
Doc:Kiss a Boy Quiz
Tips
- Don't forget to breathe! Just breathe lightly through your nose. You wouldn't want to pass out during your first kiss.
- Remember to close your eyes at first, while many people prefer to keep them open, start them off closed until you are comfortable.
- If the first try doesn't go so well, laugh it off. Guys love giggles and you can always lean on him. Don't immediately try another kiss, maybe go for the cheek and he might get what you're going for and initiate it.
- Feel free to set your own pace. Guys usually like to have the control, but, surprisingly, find it super hot when you take control over the pace of the kiss.
- After you kiss, cuddle with your significant other. It's a great way to let the moment sink in.
- If the kiss didn't feel right the first time, approach it in a different way the next time.
- If he's shy, you might want to ask him if you can kiss him.
- Try to do a kiss on the side of his cheek; very close to his lips. Then he'll probably kiss you immediately after. If not just be patient and wait.
- If he has said that he wanted to kiss you before, don't be afraid to kiss him.
- Make sure you really know him for awhile before you kiss him.
- If your crush/boyfriend is shy, don't press him! Make sure you are both ready before you go in for a kiss.
- If you wear glasses, take them off before the kiss. It makes it difficult and sometimes painful to kiss with glasses on.
