Give Someone a Hickey
Giving your partner a hickey in the middle of a passionate make-out session can feel amazing, as well as playfully mark him or her as "yours." This article will teach you how to give someone one.
Contents
10 Second Summary
1. Ask for permission first.
2. Part your lips slightly, and place them on the skin.
3. Suck the skin for 20 to 30 seconds.
4. End it smoothly.
5. Wait a few minutes for the hickey to appear.
Steps
Understanding Hickeys
- Know what a hickey is. A hickey, also known as a "love bite" or "kiss mark" is essentially a bruise caused by sucking or aggressively kissing another person's skin. It is initially red in color, due to broken blood vessels beneath the skin. It will later turn purple or dark brown as it heals.
- Understand why you would want to give someone a hickey. Hickeys are a mark of passion. They are often done in the heat of the moment, out of desire for the other person. Giving someone a hickey is kind of like marking your territory, showing the world that this person belongs to you.
- A hickey can be given and received by both guys and girls -- it's not gender exclusive!
- Always ask for permission first. A hickey is a sexual mark, which makes it inappropriate for school, work, or visiting grandparents. Some people may wish to avoid the embarrassment of being caught with a hickey, or the hassle of trying to cover one up, so you should never give one without sussing out your partner's feelings on the matter first.
- In addition, receiving a hickey can be somewhat painful, which is a mood killer for some people. You have been warned!
Making Your Mark
- Build up the tension. Don't just dive directly onto your partner's neck and go in for the hickey. Spend some time kissing and French kissing first, then move your lips to your partner's throat. Start with light kisses, then move into harder and more insistent kisses around the throat and collarbone. If your partner seems to enjoy it, you're probably clear to move into giving a hickey.
- "Hickey" isn't the sexiest word to whisper into someone's ear, so if you've avoided asking for permission til now, you should mention that you'd like to leave a mark on your partner's neck and see how he or she responds.
- Choose your location. Hickeys work best on thin, delicate skin, which is why they are usually found on the neck. However, the skin in the crook of your elbow or on the inner thigh are also prime locations.
- If you know your partner would be extremely embarrassed at having a visible hickey, don't just put it in the middle of the throat where anyone can see.
- The side or the back of the neck is a good bet if your partner has long hair, or you could go to the collarbones, closer to the shoulder, so the skin can be covered by a regular crew-neck T-shirt.
- Part your lips slightly, and place them on the skin. Imagine you are making the letter "O" with your lips, then press them firmly onto your partner's skin so that you can make a good seal, without leaving any gaps for the air to escape. Try to keep your mouth soft and inviting as you do this, instead of going into a hard pucker.
- Suck the skin. The key here is to suck hard enough to break the capillaries just beneath the skin, but not so hard that you cause your partner too much pain. You will need to suck for 20 to 30 seconds in order to make a mark. Remember:
- Keep your teeth out of the way. You don't want them digging painfully into your partner's skin.
- Break up the sucking. If 30 solid seconds of hickey-making strikes you as too weird, try 10 seconds, some kissing, then another 10 seconds in the same spot, and so on.
- Control the amount of spit in your mouth. You don't want to be leaving a creepy drip of slobber on your partner's neck as you give a hickey, so try to swallow back any excess.
- End it smoothly. When you're done sucking, try laying a few gentle kisses on the area, which probably feels more sensitive now. Resume making out as usual.
- Wait a few minutes for the visible hickey to appear. Just as when you get a bruise, you won't be able to see the hickey immediately. It should show up after 5 or 10 minutes, and could be anywhere from light pink to dark purple.
- Make it darker (optional). If you want the hickey to be larger or darker, return to the same spot and repeat the process again.
- Stop if you're asked to. Maybe your girlfriend thinks she's cool with having a hickey, but she hates the way that it feels while you're doing it. Or your boyfriend decides he can't risk his parents or employer seeing the mark. Always respect your partner's wishes if they say "no," even if you've already started the process. A hickey is sometimes seen as a mark of trust, so abusing that trust is not okay.
Hiding a Hickey
- Use concealer. A little heavy make-up or concealer can be pretty effective for covering up a hickey. Just make sure you get a color that matches your skin tone exactly, and that you blend it in well, otherwise it will look too obvious.
- Stage make up is extra thick and heavy, so you may resort to that if you're trying to conceal a real whopper.
- Wear a scarf. A scarf is your best friend when attempting to conceal a hickey on your neck, as a scarf is a fashionable item which no one will question you wearing (unless it's 100 degrees outside). Wrap the scarf strategically around your neck, and make sure to check it in a mirror from time to time to make sure the material hasn't moved, leaving your hickey exposed.
- Other options for covering a neck hickey include wearing a turtleneck (again, when weather conditions allow) or wearing your hair down, if it's long enough.
- Cover it with a band aid. A band aid will effectively cover up a hickey and give it time to heal away from the prying eyes of the world. However, having a band aid on your neck can also look pretty obvious, so you'll have to come up with a plausible excuse for wearing it, like "I burned myself with my flat iron" or "I popped a zit".
- If you received the hickey on the crook of your arm, you're in luck, as you can claim to have donated blood and therefore act like a hero!
- Try to speed up the healing. Arnica cream is said to speed up the healing of bruises, so it may also be effective for clearing up hickeys. There are numerous other home remedies that supposedly help to speed up healing, such as applying an ice pack, rubbing the hickey with a comb, scraping the hickey with a coin and covering the hickey with toothpaste.
- All of these methods, and more, are outlined in the article How to Remove a Hickey.
Test Your Knowledge
Quiz:Give-Someone-a-Hickey
Tips
- Try practicing on your hand first. A good place is in between your pointer finger and thumb, on the front of your hand.
- While sucking, play with the area with your tongue. The area you're sucking on is a bit more sensitive and they can feel everything you do. It adds sensuality and it feels amazing.
- To heal a hickey faster, put a wet spoon in the freezer. When it has iced over, take it out and let it thaw a bit until it's nice and cool. Press the spoon against your hickey to cut the swelling. Then use a soft toothbrush and swipe the hickey from the outside in to get the blood flowing and to heal the capillaries.
- Always remember to be gentle and try your best not to hurt your boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Don't bite extremely hard. Make sure that if you decide to use your teeth, you only nibble.
- Make sure you have a way to hide it because your parents may not enjoy knowing that you have one. It will be best to get a hickey in winter since you can use scarves and jackets to hide it.
- Bite a little bit if you feel comfortable. Just a little nip. That's also something someone might not enjoy, so watch for signs of discomfort, or it could be extremely sexy and just pick up the romance further.
- Try hickeys in other areas where the capillaries are close to the skin, such as the wrists, chest, or abdomen.
- After marking your love, you can gently blow over the - now sensitive - skin of the fresh hickey. It'll feel fantastic!
- Don't suck too hard!
- Listen when you partner says to stop or you will break their trust.
- Bite his/her neck and suck for a certain amount of time.
Warnings
- Skip the hickey if your partner has hemophilia. Also, be aware that if your partner is anemic, the hickey might be much bigger and more noticeable.
- Receiving a hickey can be painful. If you're the recipient, and you don’t like the way it feels, pull away and tell your partner to stop.
