Make Out for the First Time

If you’ve never made out before, then you may wonder how to initiate a session, what to do once you start, and whether or not you’ll do it well. Don't worry so much! To make out for the first time like a pro, all you have to do is relax, read your partner, and to not rush in too much. If you want to know how to make out like you've done it a million times before, just follow these steps.

Steps

Part One: Getting Started

  1. Get some privacy. You're probably nervous about screwing up, so take some of the pressure off yourself by making sure you don't have an audience. Opt out of movie theaters or group dates, and instead shoot for secluded situations like a quiet movie night at home, an outdoor picnic, or an otherwise deserted space.
    • Resist the urge to cut the lights completely. You might think that total darkness will ease your nerves and hide any slip-ups. For a first-timer, though, it'll actually make things a lot more difficult — you can't see where you're going, and you'll want to be able to gauge your partner's reaction. Save the full darkness for later sessions when you know each other better.
    • If you're alone in a bedroom or a basement, you can dim the lights a bit without being too obvious about it.
    • Set the mood, if you like. If you know that someone you like will be coming over solo later and that there's a good chance you'll be making out later, then you can make sure your room is neat and tidy, that there's no chance a parent or roommate will interrupt, and that everything smells nice and is conducive to making out.
  2. Make yourself extra attractive ahead of time. If you sense a make-out coming on, put some effort into looking and smelling your best. It'll boost your confidence, and make you irresistible. You don't have to be too thorough about this or it'll make you more nervous, but if you feel and look your best, you'll have a better chance of having a great make-out session. Here's a quick checklist to go over:
    • Do a quick clean-up. Even if you don't have time for a full-on shower, you can still do small things like wiping your nose, brushing your teeth, and splashing water on any areas that are starting to smell a little ripe. Reapply deodorant while you're at it.
    • Add a subtle scent. For guys, apply one or two sprays of cologne around your throat and chest. (Don't go overboard, since strong scents are almost unbearable at close quarters.) For girls, use a few sprays of perfume or apply a scented body lotion to your neck, chest, arms, and legs.
    • Freshen up your mouth. Cover your bases by chewing gum or breath mints right before making out -- if you can be subtle about it. If you don't have anything on-hand, swish some water around your mouth and spit it out. While you're at it, fight off chapped lips with lip balm or chapstick. If you're on a date before you think you'll make out, try to avoid eating any overly-pungent foods.
    • Touch up your makeup (girls). Take a quick second to make sure you don't have smudgy mascara or uneven foundation. Avoid too much lipstick or gloss, or your kissing partner will taste it.
  3. Hint that you're willing. If you're already comfortable kissing someone regularly, move it into making out simply by continuing the kisses and trying some of the techniques in Part Two. If you haven't kissed this person much before, though, initiating a make-out session might take some extra maneuvering. Here are some ways to let the other person know you're interested:
    • Find excuses to get close. Putting your body as near as possible to the other person's is a pretty strong hint. Sit close if you're on a couch or in a car, or hold hands and stand with your body completely against theirs. Make it extra obvious by staring deep into his or her eyes.
    • Reveal slightly more skin. If you're wearing a cardigan or jacket, take it off casually. You could also undo the top button of your shirt, roll up your sleeves, or pull up your hair, so that your neck and chest are more exposed. Voluntarily showing more skin signals that you're comfortable around the other person, and you're willing to be more exposed around him or her.
    • Get handsy. Before you start kissing, make your intentions clear by using your hands to start closer contact. Hold hands, offer a shoulder or foot rub, play with the other person's hair, or lightly trace your fingers over the face or throat.
  4. Read your partner. Is he or she incredibly eager to start kissing and pretty experienced when it comes to locking lips? Or is this his or her first time too, and he or she is acting even more nervous than you feel? If your partner is really ready to take it to the next level, relax and let him or her take the lead. But if you see that you're the one who is doing more of the hinting, touching, and talking, take a deep breath and muster up all of the confidence you have.
    • Fake it until you make it. If you act like you know what you're doing, your partner will be convinced that you're at the top of your game.
  5. Lean in for the kiss. Slowly bring your face toward the other person's, maintaining eye contact until you're a few inches away. Then close your eyes, and start a kiss. If he or she seems interested, you're probably clear to move onto making out; if you run into hesitation, though, it might be best to try another time. If it's your very first kiss, then you may be a little nervous, but take a deep breath and let your lips touch your partner's at a slight angle. This will make it easier for you to use your tongues when you're both ready.
    • Take a deep breath, smile a little, and slowly lean in toward your partner. You don't have to get it right the first time and remember, he or she may be just as nervous as you are!

Part Two: Making Out

  1. Vary your kisses. Keep things interesting by changing up how you kiss. Don't alternate techniques too often, but do it often enough to shift gears as soon as you feel the other person losing interest. Try playing around with these variables:
    • Pressure: Alternate between soft, gentle kisses and harder, more insistent ones.
    • Speed: Slow kisses are a good start to making out, and they're nice for taking a subtle breather in the middle. To convey more passion, though, you can speed up to quicker and deeper lip work.
    • Tongue: Try French kissing, or gently touching your partner's tongue with your tongue, to heighten the intensity. More than anything else, keep your tongue in motion — don't let it just sit in your partner's mouth like a limp noodle. Make small darting movements, or sweep it around your partner's tongue in smooth, circular motions.
  2. Move away from the lips. As you keep going, try kissing your partner in other areas. If it seems like your partner likes being kissed in a certain spot, make a mental note to revisit. Some popular areas include:
    • Jaw
    • Earlobes
    • Throat
    • Neck
    • Collarbones
    • Shoulders
    • Inside of the wrist, or palms
  3. Keep your hands busy. Passion deserves a little time and respect and you should never waste the first time! Make sure to keep your hands active and to keep touching your partner's body so you really connect. Here are some special touches you can try:
    • If your partner is male: Hold onto his head, and slowly and lightly move your hands to the back of his head. Rub your hands through his hair and down his shirt. Grab his biceps if you feel confident and give it a squeeze while kissing him. You can also pull yourself closer to him letting his hands wrap around your back a little more to make it steamy and sexy.
    • If your partner is female, wrap your arms firmly but gently around her and rub up and down her back (or lower back if she responds happily). If you're comfortable enough with your partner you can hold her by the waist or grab her butt. Give it a try and if she responds in a negative way, stop immediately. If she seems happy about it, you can go on. You can also cup her face between your hands, gently sweeping your thumbs over her cheekbones.

Part Three: Winding Down

  1. Take a breather when you need to. Don't think that you have to be passionately locking lips or kissing the entire time you're together. It's okay to take a break, laugh together a little bit, get a glass of water, or just make yourself more comfortable. This doesn't mean you should stop and talk about how hard the math homework was, or switch the subject to something else decidedly un-sexy. But if you're starting to feel like you need a breather, don't sweat it. Chances are, so does your partner.
    • Pull away and smile, run your fingers through the other person's hair (this works great for guys and girls), and keep your hands on the person's body.
    • You can even take a break by whispering something sexy in your partner's ear. The feel of your hot breath on his or her ear will turn up the heat for sure.
  2. Compliment your partner on how good he or she is at kissing. Remember, he or she may be just as nervous as you are! Your compliments will not only be a confidence booster, but they will probably also encourage more kissing.
    • If your partner isn’t good at kissing, be patient. Continue to use the techniques that you’ve learned and give your partner time to follow your lead.
    • If your partner does something you like, encourage him or her by smiling and saying, “I love it when you ___”; to continue reinforcing the better aspects of their kissing, respond to these moments by squeezing them tighter, making a brief “mmm” sound of approval, etc. Unless you are remarkably comfortable with each other, do not criticize your partner’s kissing abilities.
  3. End it on a strong note. When you're ready to say goodbye, keep things positive so that it's more likely you'll be kissing again soon. You may be feeling a mixture of emotions, but focus on the ones that make you feel amazing about what just happened. Here are some things to try before you say goodbye for the night:
    • Let your partner know you had a good time. A simple "That was awesome" will probably make him or her feel just as great as a canned, pre-written compliment. Say what you feel and don't worry about sounding too elegant or aloof.
    • End with one more kiss. Make this one quick, light and gentle, especially if your making out was heavy and intense toward the end.
    • Kiss her hand. If you've just wrapped up making out with a girl you adore, lock eyes and slowly bring the back of her hand up to your lips for a light kiss just before she leaves. It's an old-world, courtly gesture that most girls find romantic.
    • Leave your partner wanting more. Tell him or her that you can't wait to hang out again and make it clear that you mean you can't wait to make out again too. The second time will always be even better than the first.



Tips

  • Be willing to take risks. For example, explore your partner's body a bit more, and find out what they are comfortable with when making out! You can do this with your hand positioning, kissing different body parts and both your body positionings.
  • Don't dwell on an awkward moment if you had one. Everyone makes mistakes from time to time and chances are your partner is already past it.
  • That first kiss may seem awkward, so think of the best time to do it. Don't have gum in your mouth, just smoked, had coffee etc. Be considerate.
  • It's a good idea to make a quick bathroom run before you make a move.
  • Make sure that you are comfortable with the person. Be positive that you're ready to step it up with them.
  • Just remember that if your partner hesitates keep it cool and don't make it awkward. Don't be afraid to talk about what either of you are comfortable with doing.
  • Don't stress, practice makes perfect.
  • If your partner pulls away, don't feel embarrassed. They might not be ready yet just try again another time.
  • Don't forget to swallow to avoid excessive saliva or you might end up accidentally depositing it in your partner's mouth.
  • Try not to bump noses, lean your head the opposite way she is leaning her head.
  • If you happen to be the one initiating the kiss, always try to ensure that your partner feels comfortable and has the same emotions as you do. It would be unfortunate for you to awkwardly lean in and have them push you off.
  • Kissing is an intimate act, so it's normal to feel excited or nervous looking back. If it does dwell on your mind negatively, chat to a friend about how you feel.
  • If necessary, be sure you know how to kiss with braces.

Warnings

  • Make sure you're comfortable with it first. It's not something that everyone knows how to do the first time, and if the other person is a little shy or embarrassed, reassure them that there's no hurry or pressure.
  • Making out is in no way a promise of sex. Do not pressure your partner (or put up with a partner who pressures you) just because the two of you have swapped spit.

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