Have a Memorable First Kiss

Everyone has their very first kiss, and everyone's nervous about it. Don't sweat it, though. There are plenty of tips to help make that first kiss wonderful, exciting, and memorable for you and your partner!

Steps

Setting the Stage for Kissing

  1. Picking the right place. Something you need for that memorable first kiss is the right time and the right location. If you're not one for an audience, or not a fan of PDA then you're not going to have much fun kissing in public.
    • A good time to kiss someone is near the end of the first or the second date, but it will have to depend on the connection between you and the person you're wanting to kiss (after all, the first kiss doesn't have to only happen on a date).
    • There are good socially-considered romantic occasions, like prom, a movie, the beach that you can use to make a memorable first kiss. As long as you make sure that it's something both you and your date (or potential kissing partner) want to do.
  2. Dress appropriately. This means dressing for the occasion, but also dress for your own comfort. Having a truly amazing and memorable first kiss is as much about your comfort as it is about the right place and time and being a good kisser.[1]
    • Try to avoid wearing super sticky lip gloss. It's hard to enjoy kissing someone if you're afraid your lips are going to be glued to theirs.
    • If you're worried about sweating too much, or smelling bad at the right moment, wear some deodorant and pop on a little perfume/cologne. Remember the scents, a little goes a long way. You don't want to over power your potential kissing partner with smells.
  3. Make sure your oral hygiene is ready to go. Avoiding bad breath is important for having a first, and memorable kiss (unless you want it to be memorable in the wrong way). Pop in a mint or chew some gum after you eat or drink or brush your teeth before meeting up with your potential first kiss.[2]
    • Women, especially, tend to have a stronger sense of smell than men, so this step is especially important if you're a guy wanting to kiss a woman.
    • You don't have to make it super obvious that you're gearing up for a bit of lip-locking by popping a mint into your mouth. Keep it a light moment by offering some to your potential kissing partner.
    • Try to avoid really spicy foods, fish, garlic and onions, anything that has a really strong flavor and smell that lingers and lingers.
  4. Build tension for the right moment. Part of making a first kiss memorable and enjoyable is to build anticipation for the event itself in both parties. It also builds up a comfort level between you and the person you want to be kissing.
    • Touch is a good way to indicate interest in the other person: touching fingers or arm when you're talking with them. Brushing your hand or arm against theirs if you're taking a walk.
    • Lean in closer to talk to them so that you both get comfortable in one another's space. Obviously, if they lean back or cross their arms defensively, back off.
    • Anticipation means that fantasizing about the moment beforehand can make it more romantic when it actually happens, due to the neurotransmitter dopamine.[2]
  5. Find the right moment. Don't wait to decide when you're going to kiss someone until you're standing in the doorway at the end of the date. You'll want to be comfortable and having built up trust between the two of you.[3]
    • Try initiating the kiss in the car on the way home after the date, or while you're hanging out playing video games, or while you're out for a walk after dinner or coffee.
    • Be sober: kissing can trigger the chemical release of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin (all fun, enjoyable, and healthy chemicals!). Alcohol can prohibit you from getting the full experience of those chemical releases.
    • Avoid distractions like having to pee, or your cell phone going off (if you're on a date, your cell phone should already be off).
  6. Lean in close. After the both of you have been building tension and enjoying yourself and getting comfortable, lean in close and let your potential partner close the remaining distance. If they don't lean in as well, it's best to back off.
    • You can also ask "Can I kiss you?" since a lot of people like to give their consent before someone just invades their personal space.
    • Make eye contact as you're doing this. Eye contact elevates the intimacy level of kissing.

Having the First Kiss

  1. Tilt your head in the opposite direction than your partner. This makes it so that you're less likely to clash teeth or bump noses. So if your partner is tilting their head to the right, tilt yours to the left.
  2. Take it slow. If everything is going well and your potential partner has given their consent to kissing, touch lips gently. It can take a little bit to get in your kissing stride, so make sure you're paying attention to what the other person's lips are doing.[4]
    • Going in for a hard kiss is generally not the way to go. It usually feels too sudden and aggressive for your partner. Let the aggressiveness wait until you've gotten to know each others kissing styles and preferences.
    • Aggressiveness can also come across as desperation, which most people don't find particularly attractive.
  3. Relax. Seriously, it can be hard to do, since you're hoping to kiss right and you want everything to do well, but being relaxed and comfortable will make the kiss better for you and for your partner.
    • The best thing to do is to being yourself fully into the moment. Really feel the touch of the other person's lips, the way they smell (smell is incredibly important in kissing), how they are responding to you.
  4. Make it interesting. If you're feeling relaxed and comfortable, try varying the kiss up. Memorable kisses are ones that are unusual (in a good way), so try out some different romantic techniques.[3]
    • Trying kissing other places than lips. You could start with your partner's neck and move up to their lips from there.
    • Or you could use your index finger on their chin to guide their mouth forward for kissing purposes.
    • Just remember: don't do things like lick someone's face unless they've expressly consented to that. A good rule of thumb is that a first kiss shouldn't get someone's face wet.
  5. Do something with your hands. It's best not to just let your hands lie at your side. Why shouldn't they get in on the fun? Of course, you want to make sure you aren't moving too fast, or putting your hands in too many places on the first kiss.
    • Good places for hands are: in your partner's hair, on their cheek, holding their sides or around their back.
    • Getting too frisky with your hands can actually detract from the kiss, so don't be putting them all over on the first kiss.
  6. Don't use your tongue immediately. The first kiss is usually considered to be a gentle, touch of the lips, a signal that you both like one another a lot. French kissing, if the first kiss goes well, can come later by mutual interest.[5]
    • Most people don't enjoy having someone's tongue stuck down their throat on the first kiss.
  7. Stop after a few seconds. It's a good idea to stop the kiss after a few moments. It will build the tension and it will give you a chance to check in with your partner to make sure all this is okay by them.
    • Slowly move your face back, even just a few inches so as to keep the intimacy of the moment. Check how they look. Are they excited? Are they trying to break away? Are they uncomfortable.
    • Check in verbally: "Is this okay? Do you like this?"

Dealing with the After-Effects of Kissing

  1. Don't push it. Now that you've cleared that first hurdle of making a really memorable kiss, don't push right in there demanding lots more. Now having a few more kisses, as long as your partner is okay with that, is lots of fun.
    • Now if you both want to go further, have at it. You're good to go.
  2. Make eye contact. Making eye contact before and after the kiss increases your intimacy level, exponentially and allows to your check in with your partner and make sure that they are doing okay with everything.[6]
  3. Smile. Even if you're too blown away by that first kiss to say anything, smiling can have the same effect. It shows that you're on board with the situation, that you enjoyed it, and that you're happy.
    • Make sure that your partner is smiling too and not looking uncomfortable, or upset.
  4. Make some form of communication. You don't have to say something, because it can be hard to think of something to say after a first kiss that isn't totally corny or cliché. Sometimes nonverbal communication can be just as important and not break the moment.
    • The key is to not stress about what you're going to say. Just allow whatever comes out naturally to come out (except something like "I really have to pee;" that definitely breaks the mood).
    • You could indulge in some nice physical contact like a hug.
    • However, you could also say something like "I've been wanting to do that all night," or "I never want to stop kissing you" or even something as simply as "You're amazing." You want to make your partner feel good.
  5. Move on to further shenanigans. Now this can mean anything from going to have sex or making plans for another date. You don't have to have sex just because you kissed something and having a wonderful night and kiss doesn't lessen anything because you didn't have sex.
    • Check in with your partner. See how they're doing and what they would like to do. The key is communication.
    • You can always, if you're both up for it, keep on kissing.



Tips

  • The key is to not over-think the kiss. The more you obsess over the "perfect" kiss the more nervous you'll be when the time comes to actually have the kiss.
  • Even if you screw up on the first kiss, that doesn't mean that you've screwed up with that person indefinitely.
  • If you're a bit shy or if it's your first time Try to kiss in a hidden place or romantic but hidden place like a den or a corn field.

Warnings

  • Remember: a kiss is not a business transaction. The person you're kissing (or wanting to kiss) doesn't owe you anything, no matter if you gave them a ride, bought them dinner, or did something nice for them.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.seventeen.com/love/advice/kissing-tips-and-products
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://www.wired.co.uk/magazine/archive/2012/02/how-to/make-the-first-kiss-count
  3. ↑ 3.0 3.1 http://www.match.com/magazine/article/3394/First-Kisses-The-New-Rules/
  4. ↑ http://www.sosuave.com/rondavid/succeed50.htm
  5. ↑ http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-08-08/dating-donts-7-kinds-of-first-kisses-women-fear/
  6. ↑ http://www.chemistry.com/datingadvice/ChemistryofKissing

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