Cope With a Traumatic Event

When something traumatic happens, it can affect you mentally, emotionally, and even physically. It can turn into life-long problems such as anxiety, depression, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). With the right strategies, time, and a good support system, you can successfully cope with a traumatic event.

Steps

Taking Care of Yourself Right Now

1. Take a few deep breaths. This will help you cope right now by slowing your heart rate and calming you down. Deep breathing helps you think more clearly and also relieves muscle tension you may be feeling.
   • Slowly take a deep breath in through your nose. Feel the breath down in your belly.
   • Hold it for a moment and then exhale slowly through your mouth.
   • Repeat this a few times, or until you feel calmer and like you are coping with the trauma a bit better.
   • Body relaxation and stillness is an important component to this! You cannot adequately control your breath if you are pacing, clenching, or fidgeting. Try to stand still, sit down, or even lie down if you can.
2. Try mindfulness strategies. Traumatic events tend to play like a movie over and over again in the mind. This is called a flashback. When you catch yourself re-living the horror, bring yourself back to the present moment by using mindfulness strategies. Mindfulness helps you take care of yourself and cope by focusing you on the current moment.
   • Notice what is happening right now. Assess what emotions you are feeling, what you are thinking, and how your body feels without trying to stop any of it.
   • Use grounding exercises, such as identifying five colors around you, finding something around you you've never noticed, closing your eyes and identifying what you hear, etc.
   • Notice as the feelings and thoughts go away and as you feel better. Continue what you were doing before the flashback.
   • Practice mindfulness all the time so that you can become better at handling flashbacks if/when they occur.
3. Take a break. A change of environment and physical distance from the traumatic event can help you cope by relieving some of the stress and tension you feel. This may mean just a few minutes to take a walk, spending the night with a close friend, or it might mean taking a weekend vacation.
   • Take a mental break if the event just happened or if you cannot leave the area. Close your eyes for a few moments and imagine yourself somewhere peaceful. Practice going to your "safe place" often so that your brain gets used to it and can teleport you there quickly.
   • If it just happened, you may want to just sleep, but find that you have insomnia. Don’t do anything to make yourself go to sleep. Staying awake can actually reduce the effects of PTSD.
   • As soon as you can after the event, go to a safe place, with someone you trust.
   • Depending on how deeply the event is affecting you, you may need to take a day or two off to cope with what happened.
   • Don’t let your break turn into avoidance, however.
4. Do something active. When you experience trauma, your body releases adrenaline which gives you energy and keeps you alert, but also tense. Physical activity can help release built up energy, tension and stress associated with a traumatic event.
   • With trauma, the goal is to do this often, focusing more on frequency than length of the activity. Make sure you are getting physical activity on a consistent (daily, if possible) basis.
   • Try taking a walk, stretching, swimming, boxing, or even dancing.
   • Try to keep your mind focused on the activity.

Using Your Support System

1. Rely on friends and family. Don’t shut them out while you try to cope with the trauma of the event. They can often help you cope with a traumatic event in a lot of ways. They can listen to you, talk to you, encourage you, and comfort you.
   • You may not hear from your family or friends as you would expect to, due to them just not knowing what to say or how to react. Don't be afraid to reach out.
   • Just spend time being around them. You don’t have to say or do anything.
   • Try saying, “Could you just be with me right now? I feel really anxious and don’t want to talk or do anything. I just want someone here with me.”
   • Stay with one of them for a few days of you need to (especially if the traumatic event has you afraid, depressed, or anxious).
   • You don’t need to or have to tell all of your family members and friends. Tell those that will be there for you.
2. Talk to people you trust. Talking about it helps them understand what you are going through. It can also help you deal with the emotions related to the event. Although you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) tell everyone you meet, you will cope better if you don’t keep it a secret.
   • Ask them to help you by staying calm. You might say, “I need you to stay calm when I tell you what happened so that I can stay calm.”
   • Don’t be mad if they ask some questions, they are just trying to understand what happened.
   • You can ask that they not share what you have told them with anyone else.
   • If the traumatic event is something that happened to people other than just you, talk to them. They understand exactly what you went through and are going through.
3. Allow them to cheer you up. Because they care about you, your friends and family will want to see you smile and try to cheer you up. Let them, even if it’s just to distract yourself from the traumatic event for a few moments. Smiling and laughing will help relieve some of your physical and emotional tension.
   • Try to laugh at their corny joke or chuckle at the silly meme they send you.
   • Take up their offer for a movie or a walk on the beach.
   • You don’t have to pretend that you are happy when you aren’t. But at the same time, allow yourself to smile and feel some hope for the future.
4. Seek professional help. Sometimes it can be very difficult to let go and move past the trauma by yourself. You may have trouble eating, sleeping, or just doing everyday things. You may experience physical symptoms, as well. Coping with a traumatic event by seeking appropriate help is not only a good idea, but often is necessary.
   • Try to build a team a medical, mental health, and trauma professionals to help you with immediate and long-term effects of the event. Contact your insurance company for help with referrals in your area. They know which clinicians specialize in which areas.
   • Join a support group for people that have experienced the same or similar trauma. Not only can the group help you cope with the event, they can also recommend understanding and effective professionals.
   • If you believe you cannot afford professional help, investigate what assistance may be available from community service organizations in your area.
   • If the event affected the community, counseling services may be offered through community agencies.

Processing What Happened

1. Accept what happened. Denial is one phase of trauma. Sometimes an event is so unbelievable or so horrible that it is hard to process that it has happened to you. What is done cannot be undone, however, so cope with it by accepting that it happened. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you will be able to feel at peace again.
   • Write about it in your journal or share what happened in some other creative way so that you can come to terms with it.
   • If it was a public event, don’t avoid talking about it with people that also went through it and those that didn’t.
   • Stick with the facts. Refrain from going into what-if scenarios of how close a call it was, or dwelling on what might have been, if only… Focus on processing only what actually happened.
2. Recognize your feelings. You may feel a combination of emotions related to the traumatic event. In order to begin coping with the traumatic event, you’ve got to recognize what exactly you are feeling and accept that it is a normal response.
   • Common emotions include: anger, grief, fear, anxiety, depression, restlessness, fatigue, etc.
   • Doodle emoji-style faces showing your different emotions.
   • Make a list of your feelings about the event. Don’t judge any of the feelings as good or bad.
3. Acknowledge uncertainty. Although every day is full of uncertainty and change, a traumatic event can make you even more aware (and fearful) of how quickly things can go from great to horrible. The best way to cope with the fear of uncertainty that a traumatic event can raise is to accept that change happens.
   • Recognize that uncertainty is a part of life. It may or may not rain, you may or may not miss the bus.
   • Say to yourself, “I accept that life is uncertain and I will not be afraid of what might happen.”
   • Keep a journal about the things you are uncertain about and why they scare you. Be sure to document how you begin to embrace uncertainty.
4. Give yourself time. Truly coping with and moving past a traumatic event will not happen overnight. It will take time, so be patient with yourself. Understand that you will have days where you are coping well, and other days that you aren’t.
   • Don’t set a time limit for when you need to be over the traumatic event. Don’t try to force yourself to hurry up and get over it.
   • When you have a bad day, do not feel like you are starting back at square one. It is normal for the number of good days to slowly surpass the number of bad days until you feel mostly normal.

Returning to Normal Life

1. Establish routines. Having routines in your life helps you cope with the trauma by giving you regular events to look forward to and by giving you stability. Continue any routines you had before the traumatic event and create new routines to help you cope.
   • Get together with friends and family on a regular basis. For example, have dinner with your family every weekend or go to the gym with a friend twice a week.
   • Have specific days and times that you do things. For example, check your email in the morning, bathe the dog on Thursday evenings, or clean up on the weekends.
   • Schedule time for journaling and other coping strategies like meditation, counseling sessions, or support groups.
   • If you break a routine, don't beat up on yourself. Simply try to get back on schedule tomorrow.
2. Get some sleep. One common symptom of trauma is insomnia and problems sleeping. Coupling insomnia with the stress of the traumatic event can be extremely harmful to you. Having a regular bedtime and waking time is one way to return to normal life and cope with the traumatic event.
   • Try stretching, taking a warm bath, or doing something relaxing before you lie down for bed. Put away electronic devices an hour before bed, as the blue light emitted from smartphones, tablets, laptops, TVs, and similar devices make it difficult for you to fall asleep.
   • If you have problems sleeping that last more than a few days, consult a medical professional for help.
3. Eat well. Many people experience changes in their eating habits after a traumatic event. Some people eat to cope with the stress, while others lose their appetite and have trouble eating.
   • Make sure you are getting regular meals throughout the day.
   • Try to eat healthy foods like fruits and vegetables that will provide your body with the nutrients it needs to function at its best.

Tips

• Always remember that you are not alone.

Warnings

• If you feel like you want to harm yourself or if you feel suicidal, contact a crisis hotline immediately.

Related Articles

• Get Your Mind off of Traumatizing Previous Events

Sources and Citations

See also

• Distance Yourself from Your Mood
• Heal from Trauma
• Talk to Teens About Mental Health Issues
• Get Rid of a Negative Emotion
• Reflect on Your Life
• Be Mentally and Emotionally Strong
• Accept Yourself, Your Life, and Your Reality
• Make Yourself Emotionally Numb
• Write a Mental Health Treatment Plan
• Distract Yourself from Things You Don't Want to Think About

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What links here

• Identify if a Child Has Been Traumatized by an Event