Cope when Your Teenage Daughter Is Pregnant

Finding out that your teenage daughter is pregnant can be overwhelming. Maybe you're feeling happy, angry, shocked, worried, nervous or even upset, or that you could have intervened and prevented this from happening in the first place. How can you support her through this life-changing experience?

Steps

  1. Be supportive. What ever feelings you're experiencing, this is going to be a very difficult time for you and your family. Most teenagers do not intend to get pregnant, if they do, it's a terrible shock for everyone, especially her. What you must realize is that your daughter needs your love and support now more than ever before.
  2. Think about how she is probably feeling right now. A short time ago her priorities were probably fitting in at school and studying for exams; but now, her life has been turned upside down. She is most likely feeling far worse than you are.
  3. Make sure your daughter knows her options. Having an abortion, putting the child up for adoption or keeping it all have their pros and cons. Help your daughter research her options so she can decide what is best for her, but she has to keep in mind that this is not to be taken lightly.
  4. Prepare her for reality. If your daughter is going to keep her child, it means a lot of things are going to change for her and everyone in her life - including you. She must understand that having a child is a lifetime commitment, and raising it isn't all fun and games.
  5. Know how the situation is with the child's father. If he is the type of man that could bring your daughter and grandchild into an abusive or otherwise unhappy life, she really should ditch him. If she's reluctant or feels bad about it, remind her that there are far better men in the world.
  6. Ensure she is keeping healthy. Your daughter must look after herself to ensure a healthy pregnancy, especially if she is a younger teen. Make sure she gets proper nutrition and health care, and that she does not engage in harmful behavior (i.e drinking, smoking, drugs, excess caffeine, risky sexual behavior, etc).
  7. Help your daughter prepare for her child as much as possible. There are plenty of places where you can find decent quality baby furniture and clothing at a very low price, and inexpensive baby supplies can be purchased from any drugstore.
  8. Remember that being a grandparent isn't so bad. In fact, it's rewarding,enjoyable and maybe fun. What is important is to set the boundaries on your role early on, to ensure that your daughter takes her child-raising responsibilities seriously and with commitment. Make sure that that she takes time and effort in trying to take care of her baby or offspring.

Tips

  • Try to give your daughter your unconditional love and emotional support, before and after her child is born. You have the right to feel angry or disappointed with her, but overdoing it will not make things better for anyone.
  • Though you probably wish she had made wiser choices to begin with, the best you can both do is accept what has happened, learn from the past and persevere. Carrying on with confidence and optimism will ultimately lead to a brighter future for everyone.
  • Your daughter might want to take parenting classes, because they really are a big help. This way, she will know the basics of raising a child and what to expect along the way.
  • Try to be positive and optimistic. Negativity is not going to improve the situation.
  • If your daughter is staying in her relationship with the father, make sure she's doing it because their relationship is healthy and they actually care about each other. She should not feel obligated to stay with him just because she's carrying his child.
  • Don't pressure your daughter in making her decision. It's her body, her baby. She must decide for herself what to do, although your support and advice can help her avoid regretting it.
  • 70% of girls who become pregnant as teenagers never finish high school, and even fewer go on to get tertiary education. Even though the odds aren't good, encourage your daughter to finish her education so she can create a better life for herself and her child.
  • The first few days after the announcement are incredibly hard: Allow yourself some space if possible, and avoid talking to your daughter while you're still in shock if necessary. Your partner, parent or best friend will forgive the comments you make while anger, disappointment and hurt rule your emotions; your daughter or the father of the child may not.
  • There's a plethora of support groups out there that are dedicated to helping teens in situations like this one, and your daughter might be able to benefit from one.
  • Teenage pregnancy is not uncommon. Every year, millions of unwed teenage girls give birth in developed countries around the globe.
  • Don't go for abortion first. There is someone who always want your baby!
  • Google maternity homes for pregnant teens. They walk alongside them as the make the most important decision of their young life...single-parenting or the gift of adoption.

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  • Get Along with Your Teenage Daughter
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