Date a Nudist when You Are Not One

Nudism, which is also called naturism, is a movement that embraces shedding your clothes during times of recreation. This might include things like being naked in one’s home or going to naturist vacations.[1] If you meet a great person who you start dating and find out that he or she is a nudist, you might have a hard time dealing with it. But by accepting your partner, considering nudism, and caring for yourself, you can date a nudist.

Steps

Accepting Your Partner

  1. Speak openly with your date. Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Have an open and honest conversation with your significant other about nudism and how the person practices it.[2]
    • Be honest with each other at all times. You should feel no shame or guilt asking the person about nudism. This is not a common lifestyle and the person should understand any questions or concerns you may have about nudism. For example, you can say, “I am sorry if I seem surprised, I’ve just never known a nudist before. Could you tell me a little bit more about it? Does it mean you walk around naked most of the time?”
    • Give yourself time to process the answers if need be. Remember that nudism does not promote hyper or overt sexuality and this might be a red flag if the conversation focuses solely on sex.[3]
  2. Focus on other traits. Your significant other likely has other traits that define him or her beyond being a nudist. If the naturist aspect of the person’s personality is something with which you have a hard time, then focus on the other things you like about the person. This can help you realize that you and the person are overwhelmingly compatible, even if there is one thing that makes you uncomfortable.
    • Be honest with the person. You could say, “I’m getting used to you being a nudist, but I really enjoy our long chats about travel over wine and dinner. Can we maybe focus on that for a while?”
    • Remind yourself of other positive traits whenever you have doubts. Calm yourself by saying, “Ned might be a nudist, but he’s a really great guy who is kind, generous, smart, and a lot of fun.”
  3. Embrace your significant other’s differences. No two people are ever alike. By slowly embracing your nudist’s perfections and imperfections, you might find that the old saying “opposites attract” holds true for you and your nudist.[4]
    • Be aware that it is completely normal if it takes you time to embrace your significant other’s nudism. In fact, you may never get completely used to it. Gradually exposing yourself to the lifestyle may help you embrace your significant other and his or choices more readily.
    • Remember that you also have quirks about your personality that your nudist might not understand. If you and the person are truly compatible, you’ll be able to get past things you don’t like about the person. If you are unable, that could be a sign that dating a nudist isn’t the right decision for you.
  4. Encourage your significant other. Another key component to dating or being in a relationship is supporting the person. Even if you don’t understand being a nudist, you can still be supportive of the nudist you are dating. However, remember that support is a two way street and your nudist should also try and meet you halfway, too.[2]
    • Ask your significant other how you can best support his or her nudism. For example, you could say, “I’ve never known a nudist before and I’m trying to get comfortable with your choices because I really like you. How can I best support your decisions or nudist lifestyle?” You might find that the person says “I like you just the way you are and the fact that you’re keeping an open mind is already a huge support.”
  5. Consider trying nudism. The mantra “don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it” may be useful when you’re dating a nudist. If naturism is a completely unknown idea or feeling for you, consider giving it a try. You could try being naked for a few hours or even a day trip to a nude beach if you are comfortable.
    • Tell your significant other that you’d like to try nudism. Be honest about your level of comfort and ask any questions you might have. You might want to start for an hour in the privacy of your home and gradually spend more time naked if you are comfortable. Only remove clothing with which you are comfortable. Pressure from your partner to do more may be a bad sign.
    • Try out different levels of nudity. You could start by taking off your top and walking around topless with pants. Gradually remove articles of clothing as you are comfortable.
  6. Discuss boundaries. You might realize that nudism is not for you, but may not want to give up on your partner. In this case, it’s important to talk to your partner about how to best navigate the dynamic of your relationship. Establishing some set boundaries can help your relationship flourish while ensuring that both you and your partner are able to be yourselves without giving up some aspect of your personality.
    • Be honest when you discuss boundaries. For example, you could say, “I’m fine with you being naked at home in general, but could you wear clothes when we eat meals at the table together?” You can also say, “I fully support your nudism, but it’s not something that I think I can ever do. So while I’m happy to cuddle with you naked on the sofa, I don’t think I’m going to be able to go to naturist beaches or vacation spots with you. Maybe we can find a place that meets both of our interests.”
    • Remember to be considerate of your partner’s interest and wishes, too.

Changing Your Perspective on Naturism

  1. Inform yourself about nudism. There are many misconceptions about nudism, such as that naturists are always naked. According to the Young Naturists of America, naturism not only promotes nude recreation, but also broader social goals of non-sexualized acceptance of the body and combating bullying.[5] Taking the time to learn more about the naturist movement can help you better understand—and accept—your significant other.
    • Speak to your doctor about dietary and exercise requirements, including any warning signs of bigger issues for which you should watch.
    • Consult the wide array of sites about the naturist movement. In addition to the Young Naturists of America, the International Naturist Foundation and Irish Naturist Association offer general information about nudism.[6]
      • However, when consulting the internet, beware of sites that call themselves "nudist" or "naturist" but are really porn sites. If you see a website that calls itself "nudist" or "naturist" but is actually pornography, do NOT be fooled into thinking that this is what nudism is about, and is what your partner must be doing.
    • Talk to a doctor or mental health professional about nudism if you are concerned there is something wrong with your date. The doctor can explain to you that the desire to be naked during times of recreation is entirely normal. How you receive the concept is ultimately up to you, though.
  2. Acknowledge that nudism is a valid lifestyle. Every individual has perspectives and opinions based on life experiences. Your truth is not the only or correct view. Recognizing that nudism is a legitimate life choice may help change your attitude towards it.
    • Think about all of the other types of lifestyles that people have. Naturism promotes loving and accepting every individual in a non-judgmental manner. Keep in mind that your nudist is not harming anyone or anything and as long as he or she remains that way, the person’s life choices are valid.
  3. Share your feelings. If you are having qualms about dating a nudist, talk to a close friend or loved one. This person may be able to help you focus on the positive traits of your nudist. He or she may also make you realize that nudism is one small part of your significant other in contrast to so many other wonderful qualities.
    • Consider your nudist partner’s “out” status before talking to someone else. Some nudists may simple enjoy being naked in their homes and don’t share this aspect of their lives with others. If this is the case, avoid talking to someone else—friends, loved ones, or otherwise-- about your partner’s nudism.
    • Be open and honest with your conversation partner. For example, say, “I’m having such a hard time getting used to the thought that whenever we are at Lucy’s place, she is naked. It makes me think of sex and I know that isn’t her intention. How do I get over this?”
    • Ask if your friend has ever had similar experiences on which you can draw. Be aware that friends and family members may have concerns or even prejudices about dating a nudist, so remember to take any friendly alarm with a grain of salt. You can also use it as a chance to explain exactly what naturism is since the person may not know.
  4. Consider how your experiences shape your attitude. Maybe you grew up in a home where the body and nudity are taboo. It’s important to acknowledge that your own life experiences may be coloring your attitude towards your nudist—and not for the better. Once you’ve done this, you can begin to reframe your attitudes. This may make you more accepting of your nudist’s lifestyle choice.
    • Take some time and write out your attitudes towards nudity and the human body. Look at them and see if there are any things you can gradually change. For example, you might notice that you think it’s shameful to show your most private areas to others. However, you could reframe this and say to yourself, “wait, everyone has genitals. They might be used for sex, but they also serve other important functions.”
    • Be honest about your attitudes so that you can begin to make changes if you want.[7]

Caring for Yourself

  1. Avoid stress. If you are unfamiliar with nudism, you might find that dating a naturist can be slightly stressful in the beginning because you’re not sure how to act. If being around nudity stresses you, consider only meeting your significant other at venues where the person has to wear clothes. You can always gradually allow yourself to get used to the person’s lifestyle. This helps manage stress and promotes your overall well-being.
    • Avoid questions about your partner’s nudism from others if it makes you uncomfortable or causes you stress. Simply say, “Ned’s a great guy and we don’t need to talk about his lifestyle.”
  2. Schedule “me” time. Having time to yourself is an important part of any relationship and maintaining your well-being. Make sure you have plenty of “me time” to get your mind off of any stress or discomfort you feel with your partner’s nudism.
    • Do activities with other people who are not nudists.
    • Consider going to yoga or getting a massage. Both can help de-stress you and a massage may help you more easily and gradually embrace that sometimes people are naked.
    • Avoid feeling guilty for taking some time to yourself. Remind yourself—and your nudist-- that this is important for you and the health of your relationship.
  3. Find professional support. If you want to be more open with your nudist and are having trouble for any reason, consider getting professional support. This could entail seeing a therapist or life coach or even joining a group therapy session. You may find that talking about your issues with nudism or how you can best accept it with strangers can help you more readily embrace the relationship for its other facets.
  4. End the relationship. You may have a very difficult time dealing with a person’s nudism, even if you’ve tried methods to accept the lifestyle. If this is the case and you can’t get past your problems with the person’s life choices, then you might want to end the relationship. Although it might be difficult, it might be the best thing for both of you.
    • Tell the person the truth about why you are ending the relationship. You could say, “I really like you and enjoy spending time together, but I am having a really hard time with you being a nudist. It really causes me a lot of stress and I’m afraid it’s going to affect our relationship. I’d really like to stay friends if you are open to that.”

Tips

  • Understand that being a nudist does not make the other person perverted or sexually creepy.
  • Remember that there is nothing shocking or gross about the human body. If you feel that there is, it's important to talk to someone about your own sense of self-worth and body image.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://inf-fni.org/Home/About-INF-FNI/First-time-visitors
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rebecca-lammersen/love-and-relationships_b_4368332.html
  3. ↑ http://youngnaturistsamerica.com/nudism-nudity-and-sex-culture-in-naturism/
  4. ↑ http://elitedaily.com/dating/attract-8-reasons-date-polar-opposite/918218/
  5. ↑ http://youngnaturistsamerica.com/about/
  6. ↑ http://www.irishnaturism.org
  7. ↑ http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/writings_falsebeliefs.htm

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