Deal With Your Boyfriend's Ex
If you're in a social circle that allows for your significant other's ex to constantly remain part of the picture, it might be hard for you to draw the line. You have to understand that not all relationships end on bad terms and some previous relationships may result in a really good friendship. So how do you deal with "the ex"?
Contents
Steps
- Talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend about the ex, and find out what the conditions of the breakup were. This will help you judge how to handle the situation. Are they still good friends that just didn't work out romantically? Do they hate each other now? Are they just polite to each other because they attend the same school or University? Knowing the conditions of the previous breakup will help you understand the way you need to handle the situation.
- If the ex is still trying to push her feelings, explain to her that they are no longer in a relationship and you would appreciate it if they accept the fact you and the other person were together. If they persist, then it might be best to have your boyfriend or girlfriend explain it to them. If they continue to do so, then talk to your significant other about getting a restraining order. Some people just don't understand "Go Away" and a court order will help get it through their heads.
- If they are still friends or co-workers, then understand that they will maintain a relationship. You can't be expected to give up your friends just because you've gotten with another person so don't expect them to do the same. The best way to handle this is to have long conversations with your boyfriend or girlfriend about your feelings for each other. If you're still worried, then that signifies you have some confidence issues that need to be addressed.
Tips
- Never settle for second place, but also never expect them to drop every aspect of their life for you. They have relationships outside of you, and if you're dealing with an ex who has become a good friend, then you need to learn how to accept it, and be comfortable and confident enough in your relationship not to feel threatened.
Warnings
- Consider this - is your partner secretly fueling the flames? Do they like the extra attention? This issue can potentially make or break a relationship. If your partner is a new one consider if they are over their ex yet and perhaps you are wanting a relationship when the other person is not ready?
- A restraining order can be stressful and potentially could destroy the relationship you share with your loved one. Before taking this step, consider whether it's worth going through the (potential) months of lawyers, court hearings, thinking and talking about it day after day etc...
