Enjoy a Relationship in High School

Are you in high school (9th-12th grade) and part of a couple? If so, you may have some questions about how to have a healthy, satisfying relationship. Here are some answers!

Steps

  1. Spend time together. This is a given in any relationship. Remember, since you're in high school - you have weekends off (Saturdays and Sundays), breaks off, (Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Mid-winter recess, and Spring Break, etc.) as well as other days off. Use them all to your advantage. (Plus Summers). Even if you have stuff to do like schoolwork, chores, after-school activities/clubs, friends and family, you should be able to make time for each other. Even if you have to mark it down on your calendars, you should do it. Togetherness is a good thing for your relationship. Basically you have to spend face-to-face, quality, frequent time together to make it work. Carving out times for dates (etc). IF you go to the same school don't overdo the time together thing!
  2. Make sure you spend enough time apart. You need to have a separate life outside of your relationship. You need to be able to make sure that your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't interfere with your chores, schoolwork or family or social life. Keep things in balance. Your romantic relationship can't get all of your attention, focus, energy and time, but you also need to make sure that you are capable of being an independent person.
    • It is also worth considering that the time apart will make you want to see the other person much more. If you are together all of the time, you may begin to become annoyed and irritated with each other and even start to bicker, which could be detrimental to your relationship.
  3. Stay safe, both emotionally and physically. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should not hit, scream at, shout at, yell at, smack, punch, kick, bite, scratch, push, grab, shake, or throw you. You shouldn't do any of that to him or her either. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should not force you to have sex with him or her (i.e. rape), make you touch him or her, pressure you, or do anything else. You shouldn't do that to him or her either. Neither of you should tell the other's secrets and private info (between you two as a couple) to anyone else, blackmail you in any way, threaten you, call you names, or anything else like that. If a person is hurting you (emotionally, physically, sexually, or otherwise) you shouldn't put up with it. That's not healthy at all! The abuser has to get help or change. The victim must get out fast! Tell your parents. Many people and things can help (restraining orders, telephones to call police or 911, etc). Also, you should feel that your boyfriend or girlfriend will do anything in his or her power to protect - not hurt - you and your feelings and body.

Tips

  • Make the most of the time you spend together. If you see each other in school, don't neglect your boyfriend or girlfriend if you're around your friends or vice versa.
  • Don't make your boyfriend or girlfriend your entire life or focus. Make sure you're focusing and Pay-Attention-in-a-Dull-Class, keeping grades up, doing the chores necessary, not neglecting your friends or family, showing up on time for work (if you have a job) and having time just for you - to relax, get enough sleep, keeping up your hobbies/interests, (etc).
  • Show affection - hug, kiss, hold hands, link arms, put arms around shoulders or waists, with one another but don't slobber all over each other or hold on really tight. Especially in school - you may get in trouble. Maybe say (or whisper in their ear) "I love you!" when holding hands (etc.) in school or give a quick kiss or peck (either on the cheek or lips) to let em know you care and aren't ashamed of being seen in school (or publicly) with them.
  • Don't just assume your boyfriend or girlfriend likes to hold hands or show other kinds of affection in public (school or otherwise) so ask first if it's alright. If it is, just grab his or her hand gently (and maybe interlace your fingers together) whenever you're side-by-side the next time you see each other in school.
  • Make sure you spend equal time with your boyfriend/girlfriend and your best friend. If you spend too much time with either person the other will feel completely neglected, and you would look uncaring. Balance is key!

Warnings

  • Be careful if you say that you love them. This is a very big thing to say and you need to know what you are getting into.

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