Fake a Stomach Ache

Why do people need to fake sick so often? Who knows? But when you do, there's nothing quite as bad as getting caught in the act. Here are some methods to help you fake a real looking stomach ache.

Steps

  1. Begin early. It's sure to look suspicious to whoever you're faking to if you're fine one minute and the next you're throwing up. Start slow, and let the symptoms get worse slowly.
  2. Move slowly - remember, if you have an upset stomach, it can be painful and disturbing to move fast or jolt around. Try to sit down often, holding your belly.
  3. Feel sick. It's always easier to fake sick if you make yourself feel it. Remember the last time you had an upset stomach. Remember how you felt, and what that made you look like. Queasy? Achy?
  4. Remember: Sounds. Even if you look completely sick, you need to sound it. Moan a little in the bathroom, even if no one can hear you. When talking, speak slowly and quietly, as well, or a bit faster than usual, in shorter sentences, as though you don't want to talk because you're in pain. Sound strained.
  5. You might want to try scents. If you want, you can buy really cheap perfume or badly-scented water and put on a tiny bit, making you smell sweaty and sick.
  6. Add accompanying symptoms. It's doubtful the only thing you feel is a pain in your stomach. Fevers are possible, although this can be risky and get you sent to the doctor's.
  7. Don't overdo it! Don't groan loudly, clutch your stomach and scream "My tummy hurts". Be a little more subtle. Wait until someone isn't looking straight at you, but will see you, then hold your stomach and close your eyes for a second or two before opening them. Moan softly.Sit down and squeeze your eyes shut between getting ready for what you're trying to get out of. Grimace. Be careful to act when people aren't looking straight at you, but will notice.
  8. Keep up with your personality. Don't tell your parents that you're sick and need to stay home if you always try to get out of going to the doctors. Be quiet about it. Never say you need to stay home. You might want to suggest it, but look uncertain and undecided, but it's better if you let your parents suggest it first.
  9. Try something different. If you fake a lot and are often caught, look back on what you did previously and change something. Never over-do it, but don't under-do it, either.
  10. Don't cut it too close. If it looks like no one's noticing, suggest something before it's too late. Say hesitantly, "Uh, mom, do we have any medicine?" Speak quietly, slowly, and urgently. It might be a good idea to make her ask you to repeat yourself, and like it strains you to raise your voice. Hold your stomach lightly while asking. Don't be too specific as to what type until she asks, then say, "um... I don't know!?" Sound urgent, like you might throw up soon if you don't get it. Don't give the exact name of the medicine, this will show you knew what you were going to say.
  11. Go to the bathroom often, but don't over-do it! Groan quietly, especially if someone's passing by or waiting for you do finish. Move sluggishly.

Tips

  • Do stay in character! Always remember how you're stomach is supposedly feeling.
  • Do be careful about getting better. Don't wake up the next morning fine. Say you "feel much better, but not great"
  • Eat a little less than usual. Don't ask for food much, and if offered, either refuse or eat slowly and only some of it.
  • Don't try to stay out for a week on a stomach ache. Either they'll guess you're lying, or they'll bring you to the doctor.
  • Don't admit to faking, ever. This way, next time you are sick, no one will believe you.
  • Don't look very alert, or agree to do something energetic and fun.
  • Try not to get caught.
  • Don't over-do it.
  • Don't get mad if they won't let you stay home. Just say "Okay" and act sluggish until time to go.
  • Delete this page from your browser history. It'll be a dead giveaway if your friend or parent finds it!
  • If your mom or dad says, "Are you lying to me?", even though you are, just say, "Why would I lie to you?" Anything that sounds innocent is the perfect "slip away".
  • Don't even tell your friends that you were faking it because the word might get around.

Warnings

  • Do not accept the medicine. If you take medicine and you're not sick there's a great chance that you will get very sick if you take it when unneeded.
  • Be careful not to get sent to the doctor.
  • Also, remember that there is always the chance you might be caught.
  • Remember that faking sick in any way is a last resort.

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