Figure Out Whether or Not You Are a Lesbian
Lesbians are women-loving women. Lesbians are women who are sexually and romantically attracted to other women. They are women who may feel emotionally and spiritually closer to women. Lesbians are women who prefer women for their life partners, dates, girlfriends and wives. Figuring out your sexual orientation can be a difficult and confusing process. This article is meant for you to ask yourself thought-provoking questions (perhaps things you'd never thought of) that can reveal many answers as to what your sexual orientation really is.
Steps
Questions to ask yourself
- Do you wonder if you’ll ever start liking guys—the way you think you’re “supposed to”?
- When your friends talk about boys, do you feel bored—or like you can’t relate to their interest in guys?
- Do you find yourself daydreaming or fantasizing about dating the girls you know instead of the guys?
- Do you ever think about what it would be like to kiss or make out with another girl?
- When you are with a girl you are attracted to, does your belly do flip-flops or feel like there are butterflies in it?
- When you hear love songs on the radio, do you think of guys or girls?
- Who do you fantasize about more, men or women?
- If you have the choice of spending time with a girl you like or a boy you like, which do you choose?
- Who do you enjoy kissing more? Men or women?
- Are your feelings for women stronger than your feelings for men?
- Do you get more excited about the idea of kissing a man or kissing a woman?
- Who do you see yourself settling down with in the future? Do you think you could love, protect, nurture and care for a woman in a long term relationship and have them care for you in the same way?
- Are you more physically attracted to men's or women's bodies?
- Are you not as physically attracted to men as you feel society thinks you should be?
- Do you have a lot of lesbian friends?
- Do people ever ask you if you are gay and are surprised when you're not?
- Do you follow television shows where you appreciate female characters more strongly than or to the exclusion of male characters?
- Has it occurred to you that you could be something in life other than heterosexual?
Tips
- Don't rush anything, and especially DO NOT come out before you're ready! If you are still struggling, meditate on it for a while. Just be unsure for now. It's really okay.
- If you have examined all these issues and still spend significant time and emotional energy in confusion about your orientation, it might be time to consult a professional to help you sort things out. It is best to find a therapist or coach who specializes in sexuality and who you can feel comfortable with. Always research the therapist first. Some therapists have explicit agendas of convincing people they are not homosexual because of their religious beliefs. If you are actually a lesbian, this can end up creating a situation that is not good for your long term mental health.
Warnings
- Remember that everyone's experience coming out and to the realization that they are not straight is different. Do not feel like because you arrived at a conclusion differently than other people that your conclusion is wrong.
- Remember that the realization of your true sexual orientation is a very complex issue that takes time, and no article or video or stranger on the internet can give you a definite answer, although they can be very helpful, as this article is meant to be. You will eventually find the answer...in your heart.
- Please don't think you have to sleep with someone to figure it out.
