Have a Gay or Lesbian Relationship

Entering into a gay relationship is much the same as entering into any relationship. Two people meet, and get to know each other. Some things never change, even if the partners are of the same gender.

Steps

  1. Date first. More than once. A common mistake that people coming into first LGBT relationships make is getting way too involved way too early. Before you find yourself waking up with someone you realize you barely know, go out to determine if you are really compatible. It's not enough that both of you are gay. You need to know if you have common interests, similar values, and plans for the future that complement one another.
  2. Keep each other Keep Well Informed of happenings. Sharing and supporting one another are key. If you're being harassed, or if you've been promoted at work, if you got an award, if your best friend just told you that they are moving - share it with your partner. Remember that your partner should not only be your Move In with a Lover, they should be your best friend, too.
  3. Be honest, loving, truthful and caring. Being honest means being open, too. Don't keep things from your partner; it's a lie of omission if you fail to disclose things - it's nearly as bad as outright lying. When you have something to say, sit down with your partner, let them know how much you love him or her, and then take them to that wonderful place called "Say It Say It Say It". Your partner loves you, and will be glad you trusted him or her enough to confess or share, whatever you need to do.
  4. Choose whether your relationship will be exclusive or not. Good communication in this area is really important. If one of you believes your relationship is "open", in other words, that other partners are okay, and one believes the relationship is monogamous and exclusive, you have a problem. When the "open" partner starts flirting with someone, the "exclusive" partner will be angry, Avoid Getting Hurt, and confused.
  5. Stick up for each other. Don't leave your partner twisting in the wind - particularly if you're not out, and it's a member of your family making a gay joke or insulting gays. It's your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. If you're not out, then take your partner and leave, saying that you are not comfortable with that sort of bigoted joking. If you want to come out, then tell your family that as a person who has realized his/her sexuality, that that sort of joke isn't funny to you. And if a joke is made at the expense of your partner, let your friends, Be in a Relationship With a Family Man, or whoever made that joke know that it was not acceptable to you, and ask them to keep remarks like that to themselves in the future. Don't let others upset your partner - or trash your lives.
  6. Know your rights. If any such issue arises at your place of work, there may be organizations is your area that you can contact for advice, such as the Gay/Lesbian Center or GLAAD (Gay/Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) in the United States. They can help direct you to help in your area.
  7. Enjoy yourself. You only go around once in life. Have a great time living and loving; share your life and love with others, and surround yourselves with loving and caring friends and family members who are supportive and positive influences as you make your way through life together.

Tips

  • Being honest and loving and caring is very important to a relationship.
  • As in any relationship, considering your partner's needs and wants before your own, even if not every time, can really let him or her know how valued and loved he or she is.
  • Do something to make life wonderful for your partner, each and every day.
  • Come out, if possible. Living out can help you and your partner to be accepted as a true family unit, and can really ease things if one of you becomes ill or injured; it can also be inspiring and helpful to a younger family member or friend struggling with issues of their own sexuality. Plus, living openly takes the burden of secrecy off your relationship - relationships are hard enough without adding additional baggage.
  • Go to a LGBT group for latest info.

Warnings

  • In some societies, be prepared to encounter some social tensions and conflicting views.
  • Don't allow people blinded by prejudice to get you down or stop you living the life you want to--it belongs to you and no one else.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

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