Fill up a Buffet Plate

There is always a trick to everything, including how to fill your plate at a buffet. Gaze at the foods there, find out what you like and where it is placed on the buffet. Keep the dessert for last, even though it looks the best. Here's how to load up at the buffet without having a dining disaster.

Steps

  1. Work in reverse. Smart buffet operators position the cheapest stuff (bread, Make Pasta Salad, last week's lettuce) at the front of the table so you'll fill up on it. That's why savvy chowhounds start loading from the back end.
  2. Keep a low center of gravity. Remember your high school physics: Torque equals force times distance from the fulcrum - in this case, the plate center. Start by laying down a ballast of solid meat in the middle to prevent tipping. Reserve the outer rim for lighter fare.
  3. Think vertically. Diners squander valuable real estate by spreading salad alongside the entrée. Get over your irrational feelings about different foods touching- it goes on top.
  4. Stick to flat or malleable foods. When stacked, meatballs and baked spuds behave like ball bearings. This can result in an embarrassing demo of kinetics. That's why God created Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes.
  5. Flood-control your sauces. Gravies are prone to sloshing, so ladle the stuff behind a mashed-potato levee- and hope it holds. You can also create a mashed-potato volcano, creating bowl of gravy that doesn't run into your other selections. To maximize consumption, stay away from spicy. It fills you up quicker
  6. Pocket the bread. Doing so will help minimize the trips from your table to the buffet.

Tips

  • If you are trying to lose weight, you will probably want to avoid buffets altogether.
  • If you get stuck having to go to one as part of a lunch date or other obligation where you need to impress, do exactly the opposite of what is listed above.

Warnings

  • While it's unlikely that anything bad will happen if you take bread home with you, it may appear greedy and rude if you are in polite company.

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References

  • Wired Magazine - Original source of this article. Shared with permission.

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