Get a Guy That Likes You to Ask You Out

You're confident that you've read the signs correctly and you're pretty sure that he's interested. So why hasn't he asked you out yet? Here are some helpful ideas to give him a push in the right direction. Don't overdo it though.

Steps

Capture His Attention

  1. Have confidence. If you already know this guy likes you, it's just a matter of getting him to ask you out! Don't be too clingy.... Let this knowledge give you confidence. Embrace the strong, beautiful woman that you are and show this guy why he would be a fool to pass up the chance to ask you out!
    • Walk right up to him and start a conversation. Stand up straight, make eye contact. Voice your opinions. Guys love confident girls.
    • Overconfidence, on the other hand, is not an attractive quality. Be careful not to overdo it.
  2. Be witty. Displaying good wit demonstrates that you are intelligent and that you have a sense of humor, two things that many guys look for in a girl. If he finds you funny, he'll enjoy talking to you more and look forward to spending time with you. So if you can make him laugh, you're on to a winner.
    • Be able to laugh at yourself. This shows that you're easy-going and that you don't take yourself too seriously.
    • Go easy on the sarcasm and don't make jokes at the expense of other people.
  3. Accentuate your best features. There's no point in denying it, physical attraction is a huge factor in any potential romance. With this in mind, take care to accentuate your best features. Don't be too modest. Everybody has something they like about themselves. Play it up!
    • Great smile? Flash those pearly whites! Bangin' curves? Use a belt to accentuate your waist. Beautiful eyes? The right eyeshadow can make the color pop! Find your best feature and work it, girl.
    • Don't go overboard. A full face of make-up, uncomfortably tight clothes or vertigo-inducing heels may have the opposite of the desired effect, especially if that's not your normal look. Stick to what works for you and gives you confidence.
  4. Compliment him. Newsflash! Guys like to be complimented just as much as girls do. Flattering him with a genuine compliment will achieve two things: it will not-so-subtly let him know that you're interested, while also giving him the warm and fuzzies, which will make him like you even more.
    • Not sure what to say? Tell him he has a cute smile or a great haircut. If he plays an instrument, compliment him on his musical abilities. If he's on a sports team, tell him you watched a game and were impressed by how well he played.
    • Keep the compliment simple and sincere and he'll really appreciate it, and take the hint.
  5. Find some common ground. One of the major things that discourages a guy from asking you out in the first place is the fear that the two of you will have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. Show him that this couldn't be further than the truth. Ask him about his interests and hobbies, his family, his plans for the future - anything you could potentially bond over.
    • Don't fake an interest in something just to keep him happy. Pretending that you're an excellent bass player or that you love horror movies has the potential to backfire horribly once he invites you to jam with his band or accompany him to the latest Saw movie.
    • Even if you don't know anything about sailing or you're a terrible mini-golfer, all you need to do is show some interest and let him know that you're eager to learn. It might even give him an idea for your first date!
  6. Listen to him. Everybody likes a good listener, including your guy. Show him that you're interested in what he has to say. He'll be flattered by your attention and you'll also get to know him a little better. Let him talk and don't interrupt or talk too much and ask a lot of questions.
    • Many girls make the mistake of telling the guys they like about every tiny detail of their lives. Avoid doing this at all costs, you'll either overwhelm him, bore him, or scare him away. Maintain an air of mystery and listen more than you talk.
    • Stay engaged in the conversation, even if he's doing most of the talking. Ask thoughtful and stimulating questions. Maintain eye contact, smile, nod your head and use appropriate hand gestures to indicate interest and agreement.
  7. Play the damsel in distress. If you're feeling mischievous, try playing the damsel in distress. Guys can't resist helping a girl in need. Ask for help reaching something on a high shelf, or for advice on where to service your car. Then thank them and flash your most winsome smile. Works like a charm.
    • Don't play this card too often. Ask for too many favors and his patience will soon wear thin, along with his affections.
    • Don't play dumb. It's fine to ask for help when you need it, but don't intentionally act dumb just to have an excuse to ask. Remember: guys like smart girls, or at least the ones worth dating do.
  8. Be yourself. You've heard this little nugget of advice many times before, but that doesn't make it any less true. If you're to have any chance of a future together, this guy needs to like you for you - the real you, that is. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Hang out with the people you usually do, dress the way you normally would, stay true to your opinions and beliefs. Let your winning personality speak for itself. If you are acting when you are around him, then your whole relationship will be fake, and you will eventually get tired of acting. Be you! Chances are, he will love your personality!

Let Him Know You're Interested

  1. Let him know you're available. Subtly let him know that you're not seeing anybody at the moment, but that you're open to the possibility. The one thing stronger than a guy's desire to ask a girl out is his fear of rejection. If you can relieve that fear then there will be nothing standing in his way. So make it clear that you'd say yes to him if he asked.
  2. Send clear signals. Everyone knows that guys can be a little slow at reading the signs. So even if you feel like you've been sending out all the right signals, it might be time to up the ante a little. Smile at him, laugh at his jokes, touch his arm when you talk to him, sit close to him when possible - he should soon realize that he's the only one receiving such special attention.
    • Don't underestimate the power of body language! When you're around him, keep your body language open. Crossing your arms makes you seem unapproachable and closed off. If you don't know what to do with your hands, order a drink, or rest them on your lap. Try not to fidget.
    • Make lots of eye contact. If you're looking anywhere but at him while he's talking to you, you'll seem disinterested. Looking him straight in the eye and you'll appear confident and open.
  3. Invite him to join you. If you have plans to hang out with friends or to go to a party over the weekend, invite him to come along. With any luck, the two of you will spend the whole time together. It's not exactly a date, but it'll give you the opportunity to get to know one another a little better in a no-pressure environment.
  4. Get friends involved. A trustworthy friend can be used to your advantage here. She can do some undercover digging and make comments or ask questions that you would feel uncomfortable with.
    • Ask her to talk to his friends and playfully inquire about when he's going to ask you on a date.
    • Get her to comment on what a good couple the two of you would make, in front of a group of people. It might be a little embarrassing at the time, but it will plant the idea in his brain.
    • Just make sure that you can count on her to be discreet. Otherwise, using a friend to do your dirty work can seem immature.
  5. Stalk him (just a little). Find out where he likes to hang out in the evenings, what his favorite coffee place is or where he goes to the gym. Then, if you happen to "accidentally" bump in to one another, you can strike up a conversation.
    • Remember, this tactic is to be used only once or twice. If you do it more often than that, he'll figure out that you're stalking him and you'll look like a creep.
  6. Drop hints. If he still hasn't worked up the courage to ask you out on a date, it might be time to take the initiative and give him a ready-made opportunity. Mention that there's a new bar in town that you'd be interested in checking out, or a new sci-fi film that you're dying to see. Hopefully he'll see his chance and offer to go with you. It's not the most romantic of proposals, but you'll still get your date!
  7. Ask him out. If you're tired of waiting around for this guy to summon up the nerve to ask you out, take matters into your own hands. This is the 21st Century after all. He'll be impressed by your confidence and won't be able to resist saying yes!

Things to Avoid

  1. Don't get friend-zoned. Nothing spells death for a potential romance like getting put in the friend-zone. Sure, you want to be the cool girl who he can talk to and have a laugh with, but you don't want to become like "one of the guys." Show off your feminine side a little and make it clear, through words and body language, that you want to be more than friends.
  2. Don't be obsessive. Letting him know that you're interested is perfectly fine, but don't take it to an extreme level. Showing up wherever he goes, hanging on his every word and bombarding him with calls and text messages is not the way to go. Maintain an air of mystery and always leave him wanting more.
  3. Don't be fake. Never try to be someone you're not, just to get a guy's attention. You won't be able to keep it up, and if the girl he goes on his third date with is completely different from the girl he asked out, he'll be more than a little confused. If he doesn't like the real you, then he's not worth your attention anyway.
  4. Be patient. Some guys are just as afraid of being rejected or getting their feelings hurt as girls are. Give the guy some time to build up his courage. Let him get to know you and see what a great person you are, he'll soon find his way.
  5. Don't be afraid of rejection. Maybe you're afraid that you misread the signs or that he'll change his mind once he gets to know you better. Try not to think this way. If you get the feeling that he likes you, then chances are you're right. Be positive - this could be the start of something beautiful!

Tips

  • Remember, he might be interested in you, but he might just not be ready for a relationship. Don't pressure him too much. He will ask you out when he is ready.
  • If he does ask you out, stay cool about it! The last thing you want is to freak him out before you even start dating!
  • If a boy doesn't ask you out then don't get disappointed. He might be shy. It is better to ask him for his email address or phone number so he can tell you how he feels privately or may be even ask you out.
  • If you two have anything in common try to mention it in a conversation.
  • Communication is number one. If he can't talk to you comfortably, you two shouldn't be going out yet. Wait until you are more friendly and you know each other more. Don't rush into things because if you do, you might end up breaking his heart if you dump him, or the other way around.
  • Be cautious when playing "hard to get". If done a certain way, it can give the impression that you aren't interested.
  • Make sure that you are friends with your crush before you try to take things to the next level. If he has no idea who you are, then you have zero chance of his asking you out!
  • A good friendship is a completely necessary foundation to a relationship. If you are worried about ruining your friendship with a guy by dating him, then you are probably not ready to date him.
  • If you really like someone, they'll make you feel special. They will give you a special feeling like nothing in the world matters. But if they're more shy about it, just go for it! Ask them out. They may say no, they may say yes. But you won't know unless you try!
  • Try to do stuff that lets you spend more time with him. Like if he is on the track team, try joining track or if sports is really not your thing, watch him with a friend. If he notices you, say that you might join or that you just wanted to see what it was like. Its as simple as that. But, be yourself, don't do something that you really don't want to do, or he will be seeing a fake you.
  • If a guy makes you feel uncomfortable while hanging out, just remain friends and don't rush things.
  • Never purposely show off in front of him.
  • If you know he likes you and is just holding back don't be afraid to ask him why.
  • Pay attention to the kind of girls he's dated in the past. Are most of them bold? Smart? Creative? Don't change yourself but maybe show off that side of you more often!
  • Do not remind him of a girl he just broke up with, if they had a really messy breakup. In those cases, one of your best qualities may be the fact you don't remind him of his ex.
  • If a guy asked you out, don't ever be afraid to say yes or no. If you say "let me think about it," then you might scare him, or if you say "Yeah, I think so," then he might feel like you are uncertain or you don't actually want to date him.
  • Don't call all the time or he will eventually stop talking to you. Guys find this annoying, and it will drive them away.
  • Always give him time. Do not try to get your friends to persuade him or his friends to do it. He will likely get embarrassed or upset! If you want him to ask you out, then you can tell him, but do not make other people be your messengers.
  • Be direct with your emotions and don't be afraid to speak your mind. Have opinions, passions, and know what you love. This makes you a sharper and more interesting person.
  • Be yourself act natural and soon enough he'll ask you out.
  • Be confident. If he doesn't ask you out, show him what a catch you are! Hang out with the boys near him and try to get some trustworthy guys on your team! It always helps to have a guy friend(s) to help you out. Don't freak out if he is scared, you take the lead! Boys love it when they have someone to take off some of the pressure! But most of all, don't change who you are just for a guy. If he likes you, great! If not, then too bad for him, he's missing out on something extremely special! Good luck!
  • If you text him, and he doesn't respond right away, be cool about it. Wait some time and hopefully he will. Don't jump to conclusions! Maybe when you see him around talk to him and find out what he likes and what you all have in common and move on from there be sure to take baby steps so you don't rush it an ruin your chances of a beautiful start.
  • Don't get your hopes too high if he says there's something he needs to ask in private. He may be serious about an issue.
  • If you're rejected, don't say things like "Why don't you like me?" or "Nobody likes me!" This will make a guy feel even worse about saying no and will end any possibility of dating him ever.
  • If you want to ask him out, make sure to have a place in mind that you both would like, otherwise if he says yes to go out and you have no where planned, you could seem a little scattered.
  • Be sure to smile.
  • Don't be afraid to tell other people you like him. You can also ask others if he likes you enough for a relationship. Maybe everyone knows that you to are in love except for you two!

Warnings

  • Don't flirt with him so much that it makes him uncomfortable. It may make him reconsider things.
  • Do not act like you are uninterested, unavailable, or "hard to get". Nobody likes rejection, and if he thinks you will reject him, he will get afraid and not ask you out.
  • Guys sometimes will just talk to girls to be nice but will seem like flirting, so be careful, as the guy might just think of you as a friend. Some guys just have a flirtatious personality.
  • If a boy asks you to choose between him or your friends, you really have to consider if he is worth losing for your friends. Remember that friends are really important, and if he decides to end the relationship, you'll have some people to lean on. This is also a sign he is insecure or controlling, and you should think about if it is a healthy relationship.
  • Do not make yourself too available. Casually slip in the fact that you're ready for a relationship, but don't mention it too many times. He will notice, and realize you like him, and he may get a little bit freaked out.
  • The guy who likes you might not be ready for a relationship, so don't pressure him into liking you to the point where he doesn't like you any more. If he refuses, forget it, and move on with your life.

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Sources and Citations

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