Have an Imaginary Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Are you lonely? Do you wish you had someone special to spend your days with? Or are you just trying to fool someone into thinking that you have a romantic partner? Either way, inventing an imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend is easy. All it takes is imagination!

Steps

Convincing Other People that You Have a Partner

1. Create your partner beforehand. Have a firm grasp of who they are, where they’re from, what they do, etc. before sharing them with anyone. Know exactly how you met and what the two of you have done together since then. Rehearse your story until you know it backwards and forwards. Don’t give yourself away by taking the time to think up lies on the spot.
2. Keep your partner believable. Expect people to ask questions about them. Keep your answers grounded in what you know for sure. Invent a backstory for your partner based on places and cultures you’re already familiar with. Either give your imaginary partner an upbringing similar to your own so you can speak about it with authority, or model them on someone you know well enough to "borrow" a plausible background, like a best friend, roommate, or cousin.
   • For instance, if you’re Irish Catholic and know nothing about Asian cultures, don’t have an imaginary partner who’s Asian, since other people would expect you to have learned at least a little something about your partner’s beliefs and practices.
   • Instead, use someone you know fairly well to fill in all those gaps. Say you have a good friend who's Italian and also Catholic. Since you share the same religious background, make your partner a Catholic Italian, too. Then use what you know about your friend's family life as a template for your imaginary partner's.
3. Use the truth whenever possible. Bolster stories about your partner with real details. If you tell people about a date or day-trip that you went on with your partner, use places that you’ve actually been to. Misdirect their attention by talking more about the places you’ve gone together, rather than the person who went with you.
   • For example, if you’re telling a story about a dinner date, shift the focus away from your partner by talking about the food you ate or something funny that really happened at another table. If you claim to have gone together to some event that you actually went to by yourself (like a movie, show, or concert), talk more about the event itself.
   • Let your partner "borrow" your own honest reactions. For instance, if you've telling someone about a really bad sci-fi movie that you saw together, say something like, "The special effects were so bad, Rick almost choked on his popcorn because he was laughing so hard," if that's really how bad they were. Establish that "Rick" was with you, but keep the focus on the movie that the two of you went to instead of on him.
4. Give a good reason for their absence. When you create your imaginary partner, think of why no one else in your life ever has a chance to meet them. Give your partner a demanding job with odd hours. Have them live near enough for the two of you to have a relationship, but not close enough to come hang out just because your friends or family asked you to invite them. Give your partner a large demanding family of their own, for whom they have to do this on Saturday, that on Sunday, and the other thing next weekend.
5. Be consistent. Come up with one story (“The Tale of My Amazing New Partner”) and stick to that one story with everyone you know. Even if you don’t expect, say, your work-friends to ever meet your school-friends, remember the world’s a small place. One of your work-friends might have a sister who dates the roommate of one of your school-friends, or something like that. Assume everyone you know will meet everyone else you know at some point, so don’t spread any inconsistencies for them to piece together later on.
   • Keep a diary of your imaginary relationship! Track what the two of you did and when. Add as much detail as you like. Use it for reference in case you become fuzzy on the details later on. Either keep it on the computer so you can go back and add new details as they come to you, or create new entries in your journal about how you’re remembering a certain day with your partner. Either way, writing stuff down will help you remember it in the long run.
6. Keep your partner up-to-date. Think of the background that you’ve already given to your imaginary partner. Now think of how current events might effect them. Prepare yourself for any random questions people may ask you. Of course you probably wouldn’t be able to answer every single question on your partner’s behalf, even if they were a real person, but have an idea of how their life may change when certain things happen.
   • Let’s say you’re with your family for the holidays while your partner went back to their hometown of Boston to be with their own. Check the weather and such in Boston, just in case there’s a freak blizzard. Or say you’ve told everyone that your partner’s a real estate agent. Keep an ear out for any news of a crash in the housing market or anything like that.
7. Enlist someone you trust to help. If you’re only trying to fool a small audience (like your parents or an ex), ask people you know and trust to back your story up. Coach them on who your partner is: what they look like, how they interact with people, what they like and don’t like to talk about. Come up with shared memories of times you all went out together as a group. Give your partner a real witness who will claim to have actually met them.
8. Give your partner an online presence. First, create an email account for your partner, since a lot of other social media will require one to open an account with them. Then open other accounts with Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever else is used by people you wish to fool. Create profiles with your partner’s information. Then connect their account with yours (“friend” each other, “follow” each other, etc). Start a dialogue between the two accounts for others to see.
   • Be inventive with photos. For your partner’s profile pic, use images of their interests. If they’re a surfer, use a photo of a monster wave, or if he’s a horror fan, use a pic of Bela Lugosi as Dracula. When you want to share photos of your dates, post pictures of the sites you see: a sunset, a lighthouse, the marquee of the theater you’re going to, etc.
   • Distinguish their text from yours. Don’t write in the same “voice.” Have them use abbreviations that you don’t use (“r” vs. “are”), or vice versa. Give them a simple catchphrase or two (“Whaddup”) or a signature name they call everyone (“bud” or “peeps”).
   • Link your partner’s account with other people’s. Don’t raise red flags by being the only person who’s connected to your partner. If you’re only trying to fool certain people like an ex or your parents, ask friends you trust to “friend” or “follow” your partner’s account and interact with it online. If not, stick to platforms like Twitter, which links people with common interests, and avoid others like Facebook, which is more for connecting with people you already know.
   • Create your partners’ accounts sooner rather than later. Build some history for other people to see before telling anyone about it. Let other people see this new person in your life on your own page before you announce that you have a new partner.
9. Deflect suspicion with sarcasm. Since it's always easier to tell the truth than tell a lie, use the truth to maintain your story if anyone doubts it. Should they come right out and ask if you really have a partner, roll your eyes and say incredulously, "Oh yeah, of course, I sat in my room, dreamed this person up, created a backstory for them, invented dates we never went on, etc, etc," as though the truth is simply too impossible to believe. Avoid giving away any tells or signs of guilt that usually come with lying.
   • Tread lightly if your secret is found out for sure. Depending on who you've told this story to and why, explain why you felt it was necessary to try and fool them. For example, if you've told your family you have a partner just so they would stop asking if you had found someone, open a conversation about how much they pressure you to find someone, to the point that making someone up seemed like the best solution to you.

Creating Your Imaginary Partner

1. Imagine what they look like. Pretend they’re standing right there in front of you. Build their face and body in your mind’s eye. Start with the basics: hair color, eye color, height, weight, etc. Then add more distinct features that make them unique, like a snaggletooth, a freckle pattern, or a faded scar
   • If you need to, use photos or other images of random people for inspiration.
   • Resist basing your imaginary partner on someone whom you know personally. You may end up feeling guilty, frustrated, and confused when they don’t act like your imaginary partner.
2. Identify them. Give them a name. Come up with other basic information about them, like their birthday. Think of answers to typical questions that people ask each other when they first meet, like:
   • Where did they grow up?
   • Where do they live now?
   • Where do they work or go to school?
   • Do they have any siblings?
3. Flesh out their backstory. Imagine their personal history. You know the name of their hometown–now ask yourself what happened to them there. Fill in the details of their background, such as:
   • Were their parents ever married? Are they divorced?
   • What sort of friends did they have growing up?
   • What were they like in school?
   • What sort of interests and activities did they pursue?
   • What if any religion were they brought up in?
4. Define them as a person. Build an inner life for them. Give your imaginary partner their own imagination and tastes. Ask yourself what sort of thoughts occupy them now:
   • What are their current interests?
   • What are their hopes and dreams?
   • What do they worry about?
   • What do they wonder about?
   • What values and beliefs do they hold dear?
5. See yourself through their eyes. As you build their inner life with their own wants, needs, and beliefs, measure yourself by their standards. Imagine what they see in you. Ask yourself what it is about you that sets you apart from everyone else in their eyes.
   • What do you both believe in?
   • Where do you disagree?
   • What needs of theirs can you fulfill?

Spending Time Together

1. Meet your imaginary partner for the first time. Think of where and how you meet. Take their backstory and merge it with yours. Build on their personal history so that it leads them to you. Did you meet by pure chance? Or did your shared interests bring you together somehow? If you’re unsure, play out different scenarios in your head until you find one that just feels right.
2. Experience life together. When you’re alone, either at home or out and about, pretend that your imaginary partner is with you. Watch TV together, share a meal, go for a walk–anything that couples do. Build memories with each other so that your partner becomes a true boyfriend or girlfriend instead of someone who just has a “first date” with you again and again and again, as if they had amnesia.
3. See the world through their eyes. Based on their tastes and interests, look around you to see what would catch their attention instead of yours. Open yourself to new ideas. If you go to a store, wander down the aisles that they would browse. If you hear something on the news about their hometown, think of how they would react. Watch movies you’ve seen a hundred times before and imagine how it would play to your imaginary partner, who may have never seen it before.
4. Disagree. Since no two people are exactly the same, think of how the two of you differ. Ponder how those differences might lead to disagreements. Then ask yourself how serious that disagreement would be. Would it just be a casual conversation with no hurt feelings, or could it build into an actual fight? Play the scene out just like it was happening for real, with no way to rewind or erase it.
   • Say you’re both watching a testosterone-fueled action movie that you love, but your partner doesn’t like the way all of the female characters are sidelined as cheerleaders and sex objects. How strongly does your partner object to this? Are they just making an observation? Are they a little disappointed about this one aspect of a movie they otherwise enjoy? Or are they really, really offended by the whole thing?
5. Embrace having an imaginary partner. Recognize them as a way to help you deal with real people and situations. Have them echo thoughts and concerns that people in your life have shared with you. Practice your ability to empathize and put yourself in other people’s shoes. Strengthen your relationships outside of your pretend one.

Related Articles

• Cut Yourself off from Society
• Make an Imaginary Friend
• Make an Imaginary World
• Stop Focusing on an Imaginary Girlfriend

Sources and Citations

See also

• Get Any Boy to Fall in Love With You
• Tell a Guy You Like Him
• Be a Side Chick
• Talk to a Girl You Would Like to Date but Are Too Afraid to Approach
• Start Talking to Your Parents About Your First Relationship
• Be a Good Girlfriend in Middle School
• Act Around Girls
• Get a Girl to Like You when She Has a Boyfriend
• Be Big and Still Get a Girl
• Handle Boys when You're a Teenage Girl

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