Start Talking to Your Parents About Your First Relationship

Lots of teens start dating without their parents knowing. This is understandable as many teens simply find it hard to talk to their parents about something like this. This article with give you a nice insight on how to approach your parents about a relationship.

Steps

  1. Consider why they need to know. If your parents won't benefit from knowing, why tell them? Is it because you want to bring the person home? Is it because you're bad at keeping secrets? Whatever the reason is, consider whether they really need to know. Parents can and have forced break ups, is them knowing really necessary? Think about it before continuing.
  2. Be mature. If you approach your parents giggling or smiling, they'll think that you're immature. This isn't great for you as many parents won't let their child date because they think that they're not mature enough. By showing your parents that you're mature enough to openly talk about a relationship, they'll realise that you're mature enough to handle a relationship. If it helps, practice being mature in front of a mirror.
  3. Prepare yourself. Before you just approach your parents about something like this, you need some form of preparation. Whether you're writing out what you're going to say or just telling yourself "I'm ready", with no preparation the conversation will just fall apart, leaving you looking like a fool. Preparation will also make you look mature because your parents will see that you've thought long and hard about your relationship and their feelings.
  4. Map out possible questions and answers. Well obviously, if you tell your parents that you're dating someone, they're going to have a load of questions for you. Be sure to prepare yourself for this too, you don't want to cave in under all the pressure. Nobody knows your parents like you do, therefore nobody knows what questions they'll ask. This step is all independent work, don't listen to your friends on this one. While you're the only one that knows what your parents will ask, there are some basic things that all parents ask. These are:
    • "How long have you been dating?"
    • "What is his/her name?"
    • "What class/year are they in?"
    • "How do you know them?" A pathetic one, yes, but all parents ask it. Don't answer something pathetic like "School". Your parents want to know everything about how you met. An example of a good answer would be "Well we always hang out, they're in my class too. We've been close friends for quite a while now. A friend introduced me to him/her and we've been close ever since".
  5. Pick a time. You can speak to one parent or both at the same time, it's whatever is easier. Note that you shouldn't just tell one parent, the other will get to hear eventually and feel angry that you never told them. A good time to catch parents would be when no other siblings are around and when they're in a good mood. Don't tell them after a huge argument and never shout it in the heat of the moment. Don't tell them when they're tired either, it'll just wind them up. If it helps, go for a walk and tell them on the way. Although it's more pressure, they'll see how much it means to you.
  6. Tell them. You should have planned how you're going to break the news a few steps back. Ask your parents how they feel about teen dating. Ask them to give a detailed answer, stating what they believe is wrong and what the believe is right. The same way you're making it clear to them about dating this person, they need to make it clear to you about how they feel about it. After they've told you, they'll probably finish with "why?". Now's the time to tell them. Don't rush to answer all the questions, wait for them to ask. Who knows, they might even just laugh it off.
  7. Introduce them. From going all formal and having them over for dinner to a quick flash of a Facebook profile picture, your parents will probably appreciate knowing what the person looks like and who they actually are. If you're showing them a picture, avoid ones where the person is drinking alcohol or smoking, cuddling you or just being plain silly. A good mature picture will do the job ten times better. However, if you show a photo of you and your date having fun and being happy, your parents might notice how much you like them.

Tips

  • Remember to be mature.
  • Also try telling them how much you like this person and how they make you happy. All parents want is your happiness.
  • The same goes for speech, don't sound scripted. Sound natural.
  • Don't look awkward while telling them, just be comfortable.
  • Don't come out with something like "everyone does it!". You'll sound silly. Instead, try something like "Sorry mum/dad. It's just, with everyone doing it I thought you'd let me".

Warnings

  • Try to find a specific time to approach your parents. Do not approach them if they are busy, working, or in a bad mood.
  • Don't force them to let you date your person. They may consider this childish and stupid. They will most likely disagree and make you break up.
  • All parents are different. If you know that your parent will freak out and/or get angry at you if they find out you are in a romantic relationship, then obviously do not speak to them about it.
  • Don't overreact. Stay calm and take deep breaths. Breaking down and bawling at their feet will find you irresponsible, or too young to date.
  • Your parents could force a break-up. Don't continue to secretly date if they do.

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