Keep Friends Forever

Having a friend also involves keeping a friend. Friendship is a great asset in life and few wish to lose its intangible benefits and long-lasting support. As time passes though, it can be easy to feel less caring and for a friendship to fade. Keeping friends forever requires focusing on its purpose and making an effort to keep the embers of friendship well stoked.

Steps

  1. Talk regularly together. Stay in communication via the phone, texts, emails, online chats and, of course, face to face. Find as many chances as you can to remain in touch during the weeks and months of your busy life. Don't let it go too long between staying in touch.
    • Don't be self-absorbed when chatting. Listen to what your friend has to say and learn about what is happening in their lives. In a genuine friendship, they'll want to hear your side of things in good time too. Don't go on about you all time. Listen to your friend more than you talk about yourself.
  2. Stay in touch regularly, even if you aren't physically near one another. Meet up often, if it's possible. Even if you live apart from each other, make it a rule to catch up now and then. Visit one another, have lunch together, go to the movies or spend a vacation somewhere together.
    • Write letters when apart, or send emails. Update each other regularly.
  3. Have faith in your friend. Have their back when the chips are down and be supportive. Trust them and believe their side of the story until proven otherwise. By having faith in your friend, you show them that you're in the friendship for the long run, not just to please yourself in the short term.
    • Help your friend when she or he needs help.
  4. Remember the important things. This includes birthdays, anniversaries, the birthdays of one another's children, the precious times you've had together in the past. It's the thought that counts, you don't need to send large gifts or make a show of remembrance. Simply call up, send a card or catch up to remember something important together.
  5. Respect each other's choices in life. This includes romantic interests, child raising preferences and career choices. They may not be your personal preferences but then again, you're not your friend, you are a friend of your friend. Respect them, offer your considered guidance but don't badger or irritate them with your ideas of what would have been better for them to do. They don't want to hear that and they won't want to keep seeing you if being scolded is all they get out of the relationship.
  6. Find fun things to do together. Shared interests often rest at the heart of friendship, so make the most of this and go and do the things you both enjoy. Make a space in your diary to participate in the activity or event together on a regular-ish basis. You'll have fun and it'll keep both of you enjoying each other's company.
  7. Give one another space. Smothering is as deadly to a relationship as constantly distancing yourself. Aim to get the balance right and know when it's time to let your friend be with other people or to have time to themselves.
  8. Don't crowd out the friendship. Sometimes it is easy to get a notion that "the more the merrier". Too many friends is a crowd and closeness is the victim of too many people trying to get along. Stick to quality over quantity and don't force your friend to like the same people you do if that just doesn't work out for them. And most of all, don't leave your friend for more friends. Good friends are hard to find: they are rare and therefore precious.
  9. Respect your friend's family members. Even if they get on your nerves, be polite around them, that's all that is asked of you. Refrain from gossiping or dragging down his or her family members. That's a complete no-no.
    • Lend a sympathetic ear if needed; sometimes your friend will want to vent. However, don't agree with your friend's summation of their relatives, just agree with your friend's feelings and be supportive. Your friend doesn't want to hear you criticizing the family as well.
  10. Enjoy each other's company. Realize that you'll both change as the years go by but if you can stay focused on what the friendship means to both of you, and you can both respect the changes, then you can remain good friends and enjoy being together still. Things will change over time, but it is in accepting that that you can constantly renew the basis of your friendship and continue to grow together.



Tips

  • Don't insult your friend.
  • Don't lie. Once trust is broken, it is hard to restore.
  • Do not gossip about your friend. Gossiping about a friend is unkind and will likely destroy the friendship.
  • Don't be a grumpy friend.

Warnings

  • Don't demand your friend's time and energy constantly. Good friends give each other a measure of space.
  • Don't let a romantic interest ruin your friendship. However, try to respect your friend's choices in love; it's not for you to be judgmental. If you see aspects that worry you, say so but don't be bossy about it.

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