Keep the Peace at Home

Remember that most things are not really worth arguing about. Often some time apart can do wonders for a relationship. Laugh at yourself. Develop a more humble outlook. Remember that Carl Jung said a highly intense emotional response often (if not usually) says much more about you than the person you are reacting to.

Steps

  1. Tolerate certain things among your friends, and don't be so hard on your loved one about those certain things.
  2. Remember not to argue about small insignificant things like putting the cap on the toothpaste. Just talk about it. If you feel a fight coming on, stop.
  3. Be a good roommate with your loved one. Replace the toilet paper roll if you use up the last one.
  4. Cool off during a fight. Unlike Phyllis Diller's idea of staying up all night and fighting, going to bed mad can do wonders. Later, return to the subject you were fighting about. You may find that it's more insignificant than you thought.
  5. Be happy for and proud of your loved one if they are successful at something, no matter how big or small.
  6. Never forget why you fell in love. Rejuvenate your memory and your relationship whenever necessary.
  7. Try not to mistake pity for love. Love is returned, pity is not.
  8. Return a good deed with praise and another good deed. Positive reinforcement works wonders with both dogs and people. If you can't take a long vacation, take a short vacation. Take a day trip or an afternoon off, if that's all you can get. Agree in advance not to fight on vacation.
  9. People who were not meant to be together probably feel and know they weren't meant to be. Remember, you may not be soul mates but maybe you are kindred spirits, which are just as important. This does not mean that you have to separate, but it does mean readjusting your expectations for the other person and for what a relationship or marriage means. Everyone knows it's very hard to want to forgive your family or friend but in the end its worth it. Many people go through that stuff. You just feel like you want to move out, or that the person just thinks he or she is perfect! Try these tips and you might just fix the problem.

Tips

  • Before marriage, search carefully for compatibility. After marriage, be prepared to embrace incompatibility. Go into looking for and courting a partner with both eyes wide open. After the wedding day, consider keep one eye shut for the rest of your life. Encourage those you date to do the same.
  • Have support. If a fight or argument took place and you're having a hard time apologizing, consult someone who you can personally trust. They'll tell you what you should do.
  • Apologize after a fight. Most fights result in break ups or even divorce. Make sure you talk to your husband/wife after you've fought about something. Come to a consensus or solution to how you're going to solve the problem.
  • Develop a network of friends that will support both you, your partner, your relationship, and your family.
  • Always love your partner. Try to compromise. Think about his/her needs.
  • If you and your partner have kids, don't make them the focus of the fight. It will affect there emotional stability and also affect their academics.

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Sources and Citations

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