Know if Your Best Friends Are Trying to Ditch You
If you have a nagging feeling in the back of your mind that things aren't quite right when you spend time around your best friends, you might do well to pay attention to these concerns. If you hear a remark that sounds awfully close to an insult, see body language designed to shut you out and have friends closing down when you arrive, there may be a problem. This article will give you some suggestions of things to look for, so that you can work out whether your friends might be trying to ditch you.
Contents
Steps
Are Your Friends Still Communicating with You?
- Check the way that your friends respond to you. Are they acting as if they can't hear you when you ask them a question? Or do they ignore your remarks and comments? Or maybe disagree with everything you say? The ongoing lack of engaging with you is a sign of distancing from you.
- Observe the way your friends talk when in your presence. Do they act weirdly when you come around, such as they all stop talking when you show up near them? Or, maybe they constantly whisper while you are around. They may also keep hugging each other in your presence but don't hug you.
- Do they go in a corner without you and talk for some time which you guess is about you and then they try to avoid you? Or do they whisper to each other , then walk away?
- Watch their response online. Do they sign off when you get on the internet? Or go offline on Messenger or WhatsApp when they see you online? These sudden disappearances signal a desire to be away from you.
- Determine whether they have stopped calling, texting or e-mailing. If they previously did it all the time, then you can be sure they're no longer wanting to talk to you.
- Consider how deep your conversations are. When communicating with them, have they stopped sharing personal information about themselves and started speaking about less personal and more superficial things? Do you hear silent pauses in the conversation where something should actually be said, like giving constructive criticism or some type of emotional support or agreeing or disagreeing with you? Friends share secrets with each other and give constructive criticism or support, but if they don't, they're trying to ditch you.
- Consider whether groupthink is happening. If the "leader" hates you or says something about you, does the rest of the group think just the very same thing? If you know the leader hates you, it may be a possibility that the others think so too.
Are Your Friends Distancing Themselves from You?
- Examine the behavior of your friends. Do they say they will meet you somewhere, then fail to show up? They may then follow this up with making an excuse like: "I had chores". Did they stop calling and texting you lately?
- Note whether they want to spend time with you. Have you asked them to come over and they always seem to always be busy? Do they always make excuses? The constant busyness and excuses are a form of keeping you at arm's length.
- Ask yourself whether they have not been wanting to hang out with you lately. If they are making excuses not to hang out with you, then they may be trying to ditch you. Or, maybe they exclude you from group outings, or fail to invite you to parties.
- Notice whether they are having parties or doing things without you, then talking about it in front of you while saying its going to be good. They may be having a lot of parties without you, whereas before you would be invited to all parties. This shows they're tired of you.
- If you have a group, is everyone together always and excluding you in group meetings or outings?
- Pay attention. Do they continuously go the other way when you come toward them? Or, do they turn away or ignore you? These are serious signs they are trying to ditch you.
Managing Your Ostracism
- Don't blame yourself. Friends grow apart after some time. We are taught that friendships are rock solid, most flow on their own, even though it's not your mistake. Yet, this just isn't the case. There are many reasons why some people choose to let go of a friendship and few of those reasons are something you could change their minds about.
- Don't cry over false friends. If your so-called friends have been doing some or all of the above discussed behaviors, then they're not your real friends. They're trying to ditch you. Go ditch them and make friends with others.
- Assess your own part in this. The first thing to do if they do ditch you is to figure out whether you were obnoxious enough to deserve the behavior or whether they are being unfair. Sometimes we drive people away by trying to prove too many things, becoming suffocating or being rude. Other times, people are just mean-spirited. Or, maybe you were a boring person or maybe had a fight with them. Figure out what went wrong so that you won't repeat any contributory errors from your side of things.
- Try to find new group that can be possible friend material. Getting a new friend is the first step on getting life back on track. Don't rush things, give it time and it will sort out in the long run.
Tips
- Don't belittle yourself by begging for their friendship. If you can read the signs, walk away with your dignity and find real friends.
- Don't be upset if these "friends" don't want to hang out with you anymore. If they are going to ignore you they aren't real friends.
- Don't be upset, there are people out there that will like you for who you are, you just haven't found them yet. But don't worry, they are out there.
- If your friends are talking and then say "You don't need to know" when you ask what it's about, you might consider talking to them privately about the problem.
- Be direct and ask them.
- Don't worry if they start saying things, and things get tough. If you know that you really want to be friends with these people, then tell them how you feel, and see if they understand.
- If they are mean to you,use sarcasm to insult them.
- Don't start a fight. Let them know their behavior has upset you - it could all be a big misunderstanding - but if they genuinely don't want to hang out any more, you don't need to physically fight them. Show that you are better than them.
- Don't be friends with someone that's not willing to put effort into your friendship. It just ends up horrible in the end.
- Try to talk to these 'friends' of yours about why you're upset with them or why they're upset with you and if they don't answer or listen to you on purpose then they're definitely not true friends, they're false friends. Don't listen to them just show them that you are better and find better friends. Also show them that you've found the right group of friends and show them that those friends were better than themselves. Never ever back down and enjoy the life you've got and forget about them.
- Try talking about it with them it might not always be what you think!!
Warnings
- Wait and watch before taking any action
- Sometimes, the person may be depressed, and you may be too upbeat for them. Look for signs of depression
- This may not always be true, sometimes they are not actually ignoring you.
