Find Forgiveness with a Friend
Everybody has friends. Everyone has enemies. Whether we like it, or believe it, it is true. There will always be someone who doesn't like you for whatever reason they can find. But sometimes a friend may find something about you that causes them to change their opinion about you, be it something you said or someone you dated, or even something as obscure as a TV show you watched. Or maybe you and your friend got in a big argument about something personal. Now your friend "hates" you. Well if they are your friend they will find a way to forgive you.
Steps
- Let some time pass. Allow your friend to cool off and think about what happened and possibly move on with their lives without you. Patience is key. Don't push for redemption.
- Send an IM or email to your old friend out of the blue just to see what's up. If your friend answers you, this means that they've calmed down and want to talk to you. Be friendly. Don't bring up the subject of why your friend is mad at you in the first place. Talk casually-- "What's been going' on" "How's the basketball team doing" "I see you got that scholarship" simple things like that. If they keep up the casual conversation it’s a good sign that they are warming up to your presence once again.
- Grab the chance to ease into a conversation about the troubles between you. Wait for the opportune moment. It’s better if they mention it first, but if they don't, you will have to. Swallow your pride and apologize for whatever upset your friend. Try to resolve the issue while both of you are calm, rather than with loud voices and misunderstandings.
- Try your best to resolve any issues between you and your friend. Talk calmly about what really happened between you two. Talk about what is true about the situation what got fabricated through the grapevine. Maybe the entire event was caused by a lie perpetrated by someone else. If you know you were the one at fault be sure to explain to your friend why you did what you did, apologize for it, and reassure your friend that it won't happen again, and that you value their friendship greatly.
Tips
- Think before you speak.
- Patience is key.
- Don't get angry because they will think you're not being serious.
- Act calm, you don't want to panic or hesitate.
- If you apologize and your friend does not forgive you after a while or accept the fact that you mean it, they are not a true friend.
- Remember that no argument can be solved if the conditions are hostile between the two of you.
- Be casual, don't move right into talking about the issue right off the bat.
- Say sorry in a meaningful way. Express your feelings to them. Don't back down. If you feel like it has been months and your friend still hasn't forgiven you, try to be social and meet other people.
Warnings
- If your efforts are rejected don't keep persisting, give up for a while and maybe try again later.
- If you genuinely hurt your friend, it may take more time than you like.
- This might not work all the time, sometimes people honestly don't like you.
- No means no.
Things You'll Need
- If you just can't seem to get through, you may try reading an eBook called "100 Ways to Show Your Love & Affection" by Gloria D. Heffner. It gives great ideas to add or keep the love/affection in a relationship by finding ways to show you care that are tailored to you and/or your friend's personality.
