Make Friends in Middle School

You're at a new school and all of your friends seem to have strayed from your original little group of friends. Now it's time to make more, but it can be a bit awkward and hard to move from your own comfort bubble. You aren't in elementary school anymore, and that's unsettling, but look around, it's not that different and you may even see some people from your old school.

Steps

Introducing yourself to others

  1. Strike up a conversation. Making friends can sometimes be tough, but bringing up a conversation can lead the way! Start by talking to the person you are sitting next to in class. How about saying something like: "Where did you go before coming here?" "Did you watch the new scary movie that was so cheesy?" "I like your pencil case, where did you get it?" Be funny and sweet. If you have nothing to talk about, just listen to what happens in the room (but don't be a snoop!) , or if you know what the person's hobbies are, then talk about that! Also, a friendly smile can go a long way!
    • Find interesting topic starters. You will not get an answer every time from "What's up?" Ask them about the weather, or what kind of music they like.
  2. Be nice to others. To make friends, be nice to everyone, every person from every culture and religion, so you can be known as a friendly person! Give people some compliments, but don't lie about them, or go overboard with your compliments. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. Some people can get really offended at the smallest thing.
    • The best way to make friends is to compliment them. Say something like, "I love your shirt! Where do you go clothes shopping?" Or point out something funny if they look like they need a good joke. You could even ask if they live by the school too, but don't just say where do you live because that might creep them out.

Encouraging friendships

  1. Mingle. It always helps to go to dances or social events. This shows people you care about things like having fun and friends. It also showcases that you know how to have fun.
  2. Invite people you like to sit with you or visit your house. If you have started your conversations with your future friends, you can invite them over to sit with you at lunch! Or, maybe invite friends that you've gotten to know for quite a while already to your house, or somewhere else, such as the movie theater.
  3. Join your school's societies and clubs. A club or a society is a great way of making friends. You'll have common interests and plenty of opportunities to get together outside of classes.
    • You can discuss everything with club members after meet-ups or activity sessions. This will help you to make friends.
  4. Consider joining a clique or forming a friend group. If there is a clique at recess or at some other place, perhaps you can join it. If you see someone in the clique that's quiet, start making small talk to her/him. You will most likely make friends with them. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't work immediately, persistence is key.
    • Do not forget to be yourself. If you can't be yourself around them, then they aren't worth it.
    • If a clique isn't your thing, form a looser friendship group with varied friends who don't necessarily have to copy each other or live in one another's pockets all of the time. This freer grouping may allow you to have a wider range of friends with varying interests than a clique would otherwise provide.

Maintaining friendships

  1. Be a good friend. When your future friend has told you a secret, make sure you don't tell anyone else no matter what. They trusted you enough to tell you something that no one else can know! Or if she/he gives you a compliment, don't get confused and say: "Umm, thanks, I guess?" Because that would hurt their feelings.
    • Make sure you care about what they say, and be a good listener! That's always a good way to make new friends or replacing old ones, and to make a good conversation! But nobody's perfect so remember to forgive and forget.
  2. Be nice. Being nice will always pay off, and that's a good thing! Continue to be true to yourself and stand up for others and yourself. Do not lose sight of yourself by being too nice.
  3. Be fair to all of your friends. Never ignore them, and try to make time to hang out with all of them if some of them don't get along. Nobody likes anything less than when a friend starts ditching them for anyone; whether they're their best friend who's in another class, or one of the popular kids. It feels terrible; and it can turn people away from you and make you lose your friends.



Tips

  • Take your time before completely trusting new friends at the beginning. Some people can be fake or two-faced, which means they might pretend to like you and be friendly to your face, but hate you behind your back, and gossip about you to potential friends. So even if your friendship seems lifelong, any kind of thing you aren't comfortable with everybody knowing, such as deep secrets, shouldn't be shared until you're close. Get to know a lot about them, and be truly sure they're the friend to choose, because she/he might spill your secrets behind your back.
  • Take care of yourself. Have clean clothes (does not have to be name-brand, just your type), take regular showers/baths, wash your face/use acne cream, and brush those teeth, even minty gum helps after lunch! Great hygiene can make all the difference. And don't forget deodorant.
  • Avoid being too friendly, that could scare many contestants away. But don't be cold either. Moderation is good.
  • Do not pretend to be a "know-it all" or a "cool kid". Just be yourself and have fun. If people don't want you as a friend, then just let it go. They are having a big loss.
  • While it's never okay to let yourself be a doormat and to not stand up for yourself, don't get too rude. If someone is bullying you, politely tell them to stop. Don't be rude, use rude language or yell.
  • Don't stress about romance. If someone you don't like asks you out, be polite. A simple "I'm sorry, but no" will work; but don't purposely make them upset.
  • If you're shy and don't know anyone in class, sit near someone that looks friendly and you might become friends with each other.
  • Be yourself and be confident. Others will want to be your friend if they see how kind and unique you are.
  • Be friendly with others. If you don't want to be friends with someone don't leave them, just distance yourself. They can always tell others to not be friends with you, so be careful.

Warnings

  • Don't gossip. If you say mean things behind a person's back, they will eventually find out. Don't be a gossiper and spread rumors about somebody. Treat people how you would want to be treated. If you gossip, there's a chance the other person will do the same thing to get back at you. You don't want enemies, you want friends! Not gossiping will also give you a better reputation, as a nicer person.
  • Never go overboard by always talking to the people you are trying to be friends with. Always sitting with them, talking to them and following them around won't make you friends; it will just annoy them (unless they do want you to follow them around). But don't ever let these kinds of negative comments (if they are ever said to you) affect your year. It's your life and you have the freedom and wisdom to know how you want to live it.
  • Stay away from people who have bad reputations. People who smoke, do drugs, are 'punks/rebels', have a devil-may-care attitude are bad news altogether. Happy, educated, friendly, good people are the friends you want. But you can also try to change the "bad" people with the low reputations, too. Try to understand them. Maybe they're going through some difficulties.
  • Be an outreach type of person. Don't be shy. Share your opinions with others!
  • Don't tattle. Unless someone is in serious danger or the like, don't tattle. Let the teachers enforce the rules for the classroom. It's not your job to point out when Miss Popular is using her cell phone and that she shouldn't be.
  • If people are your real friends, they will like you for who you are, not for someone who you're pretending to be. Don't hide under all that make up, take it off and brush off rude comments. And don't cover up your true personality, either. There's a difference between trying to change who you currently are into a better person (for example, unhappy to cheerful) and pretending to be someone who you admire and want to exactly be like. Just be yourself.
  • If you join a clique, do not exclude others and be one of those "popular" groups. Stay friendly and be open to all people.
  • At dances and parties, don't always show off moves... if you do, quickly ask others (once they compliment you) if they want to learn it! They will definitely like how you share these cool things with them, instead of bragging.
  • Don't get into arguments, or be a bad sport. You'll look like a bad person to other people and they won't want to hang out with you.

Related Articles

Retrieved from "https://kipkis.com/index.php?title=Make_Friends_in_Middle_School&oldid=357679"