Survive Middle School

Middle school is a big step in any teen's life. You will be facing challenging classes and getting extra homework. Middle school is not all work, however you may even experience your first crush or attend your first dance! There is lots to know, so if you want to survive middle school, check out this wikiHow!

Steps

Avoiding Trouble

  1. Know and obey your school's rules! A good attitude is important for your and everybody else's learning benefit. You don’t want to get in trouble with the teachers or principal in your first year for breaking all sorts of rules you didn't even know about. Make sure you learn your school’s dress code as well as the other rules and then follow them! Making the teachers dislike you or making yourself seem like a troublemaker is only going to make things harder for you. Even if your friends are breaking the rules, don't follow their example. Make an effort to stay in your teachers' good books.
  2. Avoid drama and gossip. There will be lots of gossip and some really malicious (mean) rumors floating around. Ignore rumors, even when they’re about you, and if anyone talks or asks you about a rumor, tell them to ignore it and not spread it around. Never start rumors: they only break friendships, create enemies, hurt feelings, and make things worse for everyone. Gossip may seem juicy at first, but it bites at the end. Do your best to stay away from it.
    • Help to stop rumors and save lives by standing up for people and not participating by spreading the rumor.
    • Protect other people's privacy and mistakes. You wouldn't want someone spreading your personal secrets around, would you?
    • Drama is unnecessary. Some people think that a life has to be filled with melodrama to be important and appreciated by others. It does not. Focusing on the things, people, and ideas that are really important is better than worrying about who is going to ask who to the dance.
  3. Choose your friends wisely. This is very important. Be friends with people who don’t start or participate in drama and you’ll avoid the worst things that happen in middle school. Establish a small group of good friends. Every group will face a few problems, but if you suddenly feel like your life could be a Disney Channel show, you might want to consider a more sensible group of friends.
    • Understand that in middle school, rather intentionally or, in most cases, unintentionally, you will make enemies. The only way to survive is to have a close group of friends who you can trust. You don't need too many close friends; three or four good friends, and then several casual friends is definitely enough. Be nice and friendly to everyone, but don't worry about making everyone love you.
  4. Don’t let your friends get you in trouble. Similar to the step above, you shouldn't be friends with people who get you in serious trouble. If someone asks you to lie about something important, do something illegal, or do something to hurt someone else, then don't do it. Don’t do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or what you think is wrong. This is called peer pressure and it can lead to all sorts of problems.
    • Don’t be afraid to tell an adult if someone asks or tells you to do something really bad. This doesn't make you a snitch: it makes you a good person doing the right thing. If you make a bad decision, talk to an adult you can trust. Talking to friends about it is the fastest way to start gossip. But a warning: They may want revenge if you do that, and if they are willing enough, that may be a bad can of worms to open.
  5. Don’t do anything that will harm your body. Just like you don’t want to do something to hurt other people, you shouldn't do anything to hurt yourself. Don’t do drugs, play choking games (or anything else that someone tells you is safe/legal, but you know it's not), or any kind of self-harm like cutting yourself. If you need help, there are always people who will help you.
  6. Don't worry about relationships. Now that you’re in middle school, you’ll start feeling a lot more grown up and you might find yourself wanting a boyfriend or a girlfriend. You’ll definitely have some pretty serious crushes! But relationships are hard, stressful, and usually cause more problems than they solve. You might enjoy having crushes and maybe flirt a little, but stay single and focus on having fun, making friends, and learning things.
  7. Don’t worry about gym. Everyone worries about gym. You've probably heard that you’ll have to change your clothes in front of other girls or boys or maybe you've never been very good at gym and you feel embarrassed. What you have to remember is that everyone is worried and embarrassed, so you're not alone.
    • You might feel like everyone is watching you while you change, but they are really focusing on getting themselves changed. Nobody will look at you, because they are too busy thinking YOU are watching them. Everyone wants to just keep to themselves and change as quickly as possible!
    • If you’re a girl and you feel self-conscious about being on your period while you’re having to change, just wear black or brown underwear. No one will notice at all. Middle school is all about those little changes going on your body; if you feel nervous about them, talk to your mom, another trusted adult or a mentor/counselor.
  8. Learn how to solve problems. This is a really important skill, not just for getting through middle school but for getting through your whole life. If you learn good ways to solve problems, you’ll be able to handle anything that comes your way.
    • For example, you should learn to ask for help when you need it. Sometimes you’ll feel silly asking for help or you don’t want to admit that you’re having problems, but you don't have to. Everyone has problems, and whoever you ask for help will totally understand. They’ve had to ask for help at some point too.
    • Apologize and accept consequences when you've done something wrong. After making a mistake, refusing to acknowledge that you did something bad (even if you didn't mean to) will just make things harder for you. You’ll feel guilty or you’ll have to deal with people being angry with you, and you don’t want that. If you spread a rumor, apologize. If you lie to a teacher, confess.
    • Communicate clearly. By doing this, you are avoiding most of the problems people face. A lot of the time, rumors get started because someone misunderstands what you say or you misunderstand what they say. You might also accidentally offend someone if you say something you don’t mean. Be careful, clear and always make sure you know what you’re saying.
  9. Always know that it gets better. Remember: We won't try to make middle school seem like it's the worst thing that will ever happen to you, it might be really great! But, we also won't try to tell you that it's all awesome and like living in a TV show either. It can be really hard. Just believe that there will be happy times, and there will be sad times, but no matter how bad it gets, things will always get better.

Making Friends

  1. Find people you know. This will give you a few friends to start off with. You can ask your elementary friends what school they’ll be going to at the end of your final year, just make sure to get phone numbers so that you can make plans to meet up with them at your new school.
  2. Find people that live near you. Once you start school, you can also try to make friends with people you see getting on and off at the same bus stop. Friends that live in your neighborhood can be handy, since you’ll have an easier time hanging out and you’ll have someone nearby that you can call for homework help or advice.
  3. Be open to new friends. Even if you have a whole bunch of your elementary friends coming with you to middle school, you should still try to make some new friends. If you don’t try to meet new people, you’ll never know what you’re missing. Maybe someone you meet will be your best friend for a while.
  4. Join clubs. A great way to meet new friends is to join clubs at your new school. Most schools will have at least a few clubs and some have lots! Some schools will let you start your own too, if you don’t find one that sounds good to you. There might be book clubs, a bible study, movie clubs, theater clubs, environmental clubs, cooking club, robotics clubs, or yearbook club (and these are just a few examples).
    • Don’t forget about sports! There are sports teams if you want to join a team, but there might also be clubs that are just about watching or playing friendly matches if you aren't really good enough or don’t want to join the official school teams.
    • Volunteering is also a sort of club that will help you meet new people to be friends with. Your school might have a group that volunteers to raise money for events, make cards for elderly people or people in the hospital, clean up local parks, or other great activities.
  5. Show your interests. You should show what you’re interested in, in subtle ways so that people that like the same thing will know they can come up and talk to you about it. This is a great way to make friends because you’ll know you already have something in common.
    • For example, if you like Adventure Time, you can wear a Lumpy Space Princess pin on your backpack. If you like video games, get a class binder with a picture from your favorite game on it. If you like a sports team, wear a bracelet for that team.
  6. Act self-confident. If you show people that you think you’re a great person to be friends with, and that you think you have a lot to offer to people, then they’ll be much more likely to want to be friends with you. Don’t constantly apologize and don’t back down if people don’t immediately like you. Speak up for yourself, stand up straight, and celebrate the things that make you unique.
  7. Talk to people! This is the most important part of making new friends! You’ll never make friends if you don’t talk to people. Join conversations that sound interesting and introduce yourself to people you think you’d like to be friends with.
    • Don’t forget to speak up so that people can hear you! Talk like you mean it!
  8. Do fun things. If other people see you enjoying yourself, they’ll want to join in and be friends with you so that they can have fun too. You can do fun things by joining clubs, drawing in between classes, or putting together parties or other activities for after school.
  9. Be nice! If you want people to be friends with you, it’s important to be a nice person. Who wants to be friends with a jerk? Nobody! Be nice to everyone you meet, even if they aren't nice back. People will notice that you are a great person and they will be much more likely to be nice to you.
    • It’s important to be actively nice, not just polite. Help people that have trouble in class, stand up for others when they’re getting bullied, and do nice things for people when you can. Also, give people honest compliments when they seem like they need it!
    • You never know when someone is going through some really tough times. They could feel like they’re dying inside and they might not show it. Your kind words or deeds could make a world of difference to them.
    • Remember that sometimes, when people are acting really jerky, they do that because they feel bad about themselves or something that’s happening in their life. They’re mean because they don’t know what kindness looks like! Try to be nice to them even if they’re mean to you. It might help make them a better person.

Acing Academics

  1. Pay attention in class. If you want to do well in class, the best place to start is to pay attention! It’s amazing how much your grades will go up if you just pay attention and try to absorb as much information from the lesson as possible. Don’t mess with your phone, try not to daydream, and don’t pass notes with friends. There’s always time for fun stuff later!
  2. Take notes. Take notes in class. You don’t have to write down everything that the teacher says: just write down the really important or hard to remember information. Write the sort of stuff you’d say if you were explaining the lesson to someone who wasn’t there. This will help you study for tests later and also do your homework.
  3. Do your homework. This is really important for getting decent grades. If you don’t do your homework, you’re almost guaranteed to get bad grades, even if you ace tests and stuff like that. Find some quiet time each evening and just work to get your homework done. Get help if you need it too! Your homework shouldn't take so much time that you don’t have time to relax too.
  4. Stay organized. Don’t just shove everything in your backpack. This will make you forget about assignments or lose important papers. Instead, have a binder for homework assignments and organize them by when they’re due. Have another binder for class notes, organized by subject.
    • Consider getting a planner. You also want to keep your life organized! Get a planner and carefully organize your day. Set aside time for homework, time for hanging out, time for getting ready and eating breakfast in the morning, and everything else you need to do during your day.
  5. Don’t procrastinate. Lots of people develop the very bad habit of procrastinating. This means that they don’t do things when they should. Instead, they wait until the last minute! This is bad, because it means that when you do things, you’ll do a bad job because you’ll be rushed. It will also make you really stressed. Develop a good habit of doing things at the appropriate time and you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble.
  6. Ask questions! This is a great way to make sure you improve your grades. When you don’t understand something, ask! This way you know you’re doing something right. Even if you do understand something, it’s good to ask questions if you’re curious about something else. Always ask questions and you’ll find yourself getting smarter and smarter.
  7. Study as much as you can. If you really want good grades, you’ll need to study. Read all of the books you are assigned and set aside plenty of time to study. Middle school is an important time to develop good school habits, so getting used to studying now will really help you later.
  8. Don’t stress over your grades. Don’t worry about getting straight A’s right now. Just focus on learning as much as you can, developing good school habits, and get the best grades you can. You shouldn’t settle for a C- but you shouldn’t worry about a B or B+.

Improving Yourself

  1. Explore yourself. Middle school is a great time to explore the things you enjoy and figure out what is important to you. You should take electives that you think you might like, learn to do things that you’ve always wanted to learn how to do, and read about things you’d like to do in the future.
    • Read books about people who inspire you. Figure out what they did to get to where they got and figure out if you want to do the same.
    • Clubs are a great way to explore things that make you happy! Try joining one at your school.
    • The internet can also be a great place to explore things you like, especially if you like nerdy stuff! You’ll have a much easier time finding people who like the same stuff. Just be careful because just like the real world, there are lots of bad people out there on the internet.
  2. Develop good hygiene habits. Make sure you’re washing your body, keeping your face clean, wearing clean clothes and other things to keep yourself looking nice. This will help you develop confidence and make you feel more comfortable in your body, even if it is changing.
  3. Learn to balance responsibilities with fun. While it’s important to devote time to learning while you’re in middle school, it’s also important for you to learn how to balance responsibility with fun and relaxation. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you spend too much time studying, but you’ll also have a really hard time in life if you don’t learn how to be responsible.
  4. Get involved. You may not realize it now, because many people don’t, but helping others can be the most rewarding thing you ever do. Making a positive difference in your community and the world can make you feel like a superhero because you’ll be one! Volunteer, help people that you see struggling, and find out how you can improve the world around you.
  5. Exercise and eat healthy. School is all about getting your mind fit and healthy, but you need to make sure your body stays healthy too. Make sure you eat right, and get plenty of good exercise to keep your body in good condition. Getting healthy now means you’ll be able to look forward to a lifetime of good habits!
  6. Work on your talents. If you’re good at something, you should find ways to do those things! Get better and better at things you enjoy and that you’re good at. Your talents can often be turned into a great job or hobby when you’re older (or even now). Talk to your parents about what you can do, and if they can’t help, talk to a teacher.
    • For example, if you’re good at drawing, take an art class. If you have a talent for learning songs, join the band. If you’re good at math, offer to tutor other students (for extra credit or money!) the possibilities are endless!
  7. Don’t sweat the little things. You’ll be a much happier person and it will be much easier to deal with problems and the stress of middle school if you learn to worry only about the problems that really matter. This can be hard to do, and will probably take a long time to learn, but it’s worth keeping in mind.
    • For example, don’t worry about stuff like losing a game (it’s just a game!), feeling left out (you’ll find your crowd someday and you’re probably not as alone as you feel), people making accusations about you (their drama is theirs, not yours, ignore them), or other kids teasing you (you’ll be the one laughing at them when they work at 7-11 in twenty years and you have a college degree).
    • Instead, worry about things like injustice, current events, and the world around you. These are things that matter and that you should always worry about: because if you don’t worry, you won’t do anything about it, and if people don’t do anything then the problems will never get better.
  8. Believe that you are normal. There will be many times where you will feel different and alone. You might be afraid because you find yourself having a crush on the "wrong" person. You might feel like no one understands you because you like the "wrong" things. You might feel left out because you and your parents don't look like everyone else. But it is very important for you to understand that no matter how alone you feel, no matter how "wrong" or weird you think you are, there are so many people just like you. Someday you're going to meet them and you're going to find better friends and family that you never thought you would...and you will be more happy than you ever thought you could be.
    • You might notice, for example, that while all the other girls are giggling over boys, you don't feel the same way. You might find yourself wanting a very close relationship with another girl. This shouldn't make you feel like there is something wrong with you because there is nothing wrong with you. Give things time and take things slow. You never know how you'll feel in a few months or even a few years.
    • You might think that you're weird because your family doesn't look like or doesn't talk like everyone else's. Maybe your parents don't speak English. Maybe you have two dads. Maybe your dad is black and your mom is Asian. The important thing to understand is that families come in all shapes and sizes, and as long as you love each other, that's all that matters. You are just like everyone else. No matter how your family looks.

Middle School Survival Skills

  1. Get used to dealing with your period if you’re a girl. This can be a source of lots of embarrassment and nervousness, but it shouldn’t be. All the girls have to deal with the same problems! Be prepared and you won’t have anything to worry about.
  2. Learn to hide an erection if you’re a boy. Pretty much all boys will have to deal with this problem at some point. Don’t worry: it’s totally normal! Know how to solve the problem and you won’t have anything to worry about. Try carrying a textbook in front.
  3. Work on your coordination. A lot of embarrassing moments in middle school come from tripping, falling, or running into someone or something at the worst times. Work on your coordination and pay attention to your surroundings and avoid your own tale of falling down the bleachers in the middle of an assembly.
  4. Dress well. You’re probably worried about having to wear a uniform, since most middle schools these days require them, but still looking cool and being yourself. You can totally do this! With a little creativity, your uniform will be no problem.
  5. Get a good bra, if you’re a girl. Girls are going to need bras and this can be a kind of scary thing. Don’t worry, though: it’s totally normal. Don’t be embarrassed to ask your mom or dad for help and get help at the store to find the right size.
  6. Take good care of your body. Nobody wants to be stinky! Since you’re going through puberty, your body will be a little more likely to get extra stinky and sweaty. Don’t worry: it’s totally normal! With a little effort, you can stay clean and ready for the day.
  7. Get-Beautiful, Glowing Skin! As you get your grown up body, you’ll probably have to deal with embarrassing pimples. This is normal, but there’s no reason you should have to put up with it! With a little help, you can keep your skin pretty clear and nice looking.
    • If you have constant, painful break-outs it might be a good idea to consult your doctor. Many times they can prescribe medicines that will help your skin look and feel better!
  8. Stop bullying in its tracks. You don’t want to bully, be bullied, or let anyone else be bullied. Be brave enough to stop bullying in its tracks and make your school better for everybody!
  9. Get great study skills. This will be very important, not just in middle school but for the rest of your school career. Get good at studying now and this will lead you to better grades and better opportunities for the rest of your life.
  10. Learn to open your locker. Many students coming to middle school struggle with opening their locker. Combination locks are hard to work sometimes, even for adults. Learn how to work one, and things will be much easier for you.



Tips

  • Don't be so afraid to be a friend with a boy even if you don't have a crush on him. People may tease you and think you're in a relationship, but as long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Boys and girls can be JUST friends.
  • Make sure to have some good, close friends. They will support you and make middle school a lot more fun.
  • Remember to be careful who you become friends with. If they ask you to take a drink of alcohol or smoke then you know you made friends with the wrong people.
  • Be yourself! Don't focus on being the popular girl/boy in school because, we all came to school for getting ready to be an adult. Don't let others feel like they are left out. Help others and be nice to them because only kindness matters in the end. Crushes and being a shy person is SOOOOOO Normal! Enjoy middle school and don't forget to have fun!
  • Don't be afraid to end a friendship if things aren't working out. Some people might bully others so badly, they scare people into being their "friend" when in reality, these people are being used to do things the bully wants, or to make the bully look popular. Remember this, and your life will be much easier; meaning you feel less that "life sucks because of this person" feeling.
  • If someone is being rude to you or to your friends, stick up for them, but don't push it too far and get into trouble.
  • Buy and wear a watch. Be sure you know how to read it. An analog watch is better than a digital one, but either will work.
  • Make sure you have your lunch money! If you have trouble getting lunch money from your parents, talk to a teacher. They will help you and they won’t tell your friends. There’s no reason to be embarrassed.
  • Just remember, all the other kids are just as nervous as you are, and that will wear off after the first week. If you stay confident and be yourself, (and don't forget to have fun) you will be fine.
  • Try to stay out of trouble. It's okay to have a little fun once in a while, but don't take it too far.
  • If you are changing in gym locker rooms and you are uncomfortable, ask teachers or whoever supervises you to change in a bathroom stall.
  • Go in to see a teacher(s) before school or after school. If a teacher is not able to help you since he, or she might be busy, go to another teacher who teaches that subject. Otherwise, you can maybe go to someone in another grade level for help.
  • Just have fun. These are three years of your life that you'll love (and possibly cringe on later) so just have fun. Be safe and don't let others push you around. Make friends with as many people as you can, but don't let them make you do something you're not comfortable with. Try and keep your grades up, but it's not the end of the world if they slip for a while. Overall, just have fun with it. Embrace awkwardness, and enjoy becoming  a teenager!
  • Don't get the idea in your head that you need to be the girl or boy that everyone obsesses about. Instead just watch what everyone else is doing and kinda go along with them, but add a touch of your style to it!
  • Don't focus on boys. Yes, it's fun to have crushes, but don't let the world revolve around them. And if you are a boy, don't focus on girls!
  • Be careful about drugs in middle school. You can suffer health problems from drugs. Remember who your friends are and that life is worth living!
  • Don't worry about being under or over developed.
  • If you're in the lowest grade in the school, don't worry because the big kids aren't as scary as they seem. The eighth graders probably won't bother you unless they're insecure themselves. They had their fun in seventh grade and just don't care anymore. You'll probably get more trouble from the seventh graders, and if you do, ignore it. Just think that in a year or two it's going to be your turn to have fun. Consider it a rite of passage.
  • Be careful when choosing your friends.
  • Keep an extra set of clothes. And two sets of extra underwear! You never know why you might need them: maybe you spill something on yourself at lunch or if maybe something else unfortunate happens. Just be prepared. If you have to change for an embarrassing reason and people ask why you changed, just say that you must have sat in something weird.
  • Don't worry about popularity. It doesn't matter! Focus on your grades and behavior. That's what matters in the long run.
  • Don't change yourself to be "cool." Just because some people say that if you don't wear this you're not "cool." It doesn't matter what they think, they're most likely just trying to make you jealous, or they're jealous!
  • Instead of a binder, use a trapper. Instead of carrying all of those folders around, the trapper has spots to put all of your stuff. They should have places to put pencils, papers, scissors, pencil sharpener, and files instead of 10 folders! You can also buy an extra pocket for stuff like colored pencils, crayons, etc!
  • Guys, be nice to the ladies, even if the are not so lady-like, and keep out of trouble, you don't need a spot on your permanent record to keep you from success in life.
  • In middle school, you will notice groups of people forming according to popularity and personality. There will be some kids going through the emo phase. Don't get caught up in that and think about what is really you before making any big decisions, if you are just the real you, you will be much more confident and feel better about yourself, and bullies should stay away from you and if they don't they will have less effect on you if you're confident.
  • Your best friend and of course, yourself might drift away. You might lose him/her and feel lonely, but it's OK. Just let time pass and you'll be alright.
  • It's ok to change yourself or your image as long as you are making yourself happier in the process.

Warnings

  • Middle school can be the hardest time for some people. If you feel like you can’t handle things and you want to hurt yourself, please ask for help. Find a free Suicide Help Line or Center near you.
  • Tell an adult or an adult you trust, when you see illegal activity. When someone punches someone in the face, you should tell an adult. You may feel uncomfortable, but your behavior and grades matter, not your popularity.
  • Do not cheat on any tests or quizzes, this will have a big impact on your social life and academic life. Some schools will suspend you for it!
  • Don't get into fights, otherwise you would most likely get a bad reputation. Don't argue with a teacher, and don't get into any trouble with another student. Only play around when you know you can. Anything negative about you or what you have done will follow you through your academic life, and your social life!
  • If you see one of your friends being bullied, don't just watch it happen. Either stand up for them or tell a teacher or another adult. After all, what kind of friend lets his or her friends get hurt?
  • You will come across some bad people, such as bullies, so just try ignore them, and they'll probably ignore you as well. But if that bully is constantly bullying you and you can't seem to stop it, tell an adult or teacher you can trust.

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