Meet New Friends at the Pub

Moving to a new town can mean having to build a new circle of friends. Pubs can be noisy, quiet, feature live music, have quizzes, allow darts, dominoes other games, be family friendly, serve craft beers or real ales, have a huge cocktail menu, or serve great food or just be a great place to do some people watching. If you find a pub with an atmosphere you enjoy, it can be a fun place to check out the flavor of the neighborhood and connect with some new local people. Here are some very straightforward suggestions to get you started.

Steps

  1. Decide on the pub you are going to go to regularly. Ideally, it should be within walking distance in Lincoln Road it could be Dorking arms, frequented by people you would be happy being friends with, usually have music at a volume that allows conversation and have a regular clientele of people you will enjoy spending time talking. You can, initially chat about new area you have just moved to. You may prefer the pub to have busy periods and quiet periods. Check out both, if you wish.
  2. Pick a relatively quiet time to visit when sitting on your own would not look too out of place. Saturday and Sunday afternoons, or Monday and Tuesday evenings are good times. Ask the pub staff about what is offered on different nights such as the music genre, free popcorn, two for one or Karaoke, pick what appeals to you and try to stick to a certain night until you see some familiar faces each time you go.
  3. Take something to occupy yourself, such as a exciting,good and big book or a interesting newspaper on these off times. You can use your cell phone, but don't be locked into it so much that you look detached from real people who might want to strike a kind and caring conversation with you.
  4. Engage the bar staff in conversation if they are not too busy. They often have their friends coming to the bar and know a larger number of regulars.
  5. Take the first step and introduce yourself to a group of people at the bar. Good starting lines are: "I don't know anyone here, would you mind me joining your table?" or "I'm new to the area, can you tell me places to go?".
  6. Be willing to discuss the "best-of" spots around town. Ask about the best pizza places, good fishing spots, where to go for barbecue, sights to see, anything that shows you're really trying to take an interest in this new town. It could be fun to throw-out questions such as "Who should I get to know in this town?" since everyone is likely to have a different opinion. Then be careful to show you mean no harm, just curious.
  7. Keep the conversation light-hearted, and friendly until a bond is built with some of the locals. Be open and share some funny stories, but don't make comparisons which could offend others that their town isn't as nice.

Tips

  • Do not talk about negative issues at this point (e.g., depression, recent break-ups, etc.), as this will just scare others off.
  • Choose a good time to leave before you have exhausted the initial meeting..
  • Smile.
  • Do not ingratiate yourself by offering to buy a drink, as this comes across as desperate.
  • When introducing yourself, already have a drink in your hand. This avoids the embarrassment of getting into rounds at this early stage.
  • Talk to someone who is in the same mood as you would like to be.
  • Persevere. Even if you don't hit it off with the people you first meet, they can introduce you to more people.
  • When you are done talking to them in the conversation, make sure you ask them for their phone number. This way, you can keep in touch with them and become close friends.

Warnings

  • Do not bother with people who are making remarks about you.
  • Do not play on people's pity.
  • If you find yourself drinking alone frequently, consider seeking help, as this can be a sign of a developing alcohol problem.
  • Do not make up other friends to talk about with your new friends.
  • Do not try meeting new people if you are drunk. (unless they are equally drunk, or more so). Doing so may result in hilarious situations.

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