Overcome an Infatuation

When infatuation turns from euphoria to obsession, it’s time to make some changes. Constantly thinking of someone can take a toll on your life and cause an unhealthy mental situation. The good news is you don’t have obsess over this person forever. You can overcome this infatuation by getting back to reality, refocusing your thoughts, and getting help and support.

Steps

Getting Back in Touch with Reality

1. Analyze the person's faults. It’s difficult to see nothing else about a person you’re infatuated with except for how amazing they are. However, no one is perfect and everyone has flaws--even them. Make a list of their negative qualities to bring you back down to reality.
   • Finding these flaws will likely take some time. Engage with the person outside of your regular circumstances or spend more time with them than usual. Chances are, seeing them outside of your typical scenario will show you a different, and unflattering, side.
2. Look at patterns of infatuation. Have you been through this before? Chances are, if you’re infatuated with someone now you have likely been in the same situation previously. If obsession is a common occurrence in your life, tell yourself so.
   • For example, when your feelings get overwhelming, remind yourself that this is just something that you do. It’s not indicative that you are completely in love with or can’t live without this person, it’s simply a tendency you have. Coming to terms with that may make you realize that your infatuation is just a habit.
3. Give it time. The saying “time heals all wounds” is popular because it is true. Look back at other moments in your life when you were obsessed or infatuated with someone or something. Ask yourself how you feel about them today. Chances are you are completely over it and over time, this infatuation will be a distant memory, too.

Refocusing Your Thoughts

1. Think about someone else. Telling yourself to simply stop thinking about your infatuation won’t work. In fact, there’s proof that trying to stop these thoughts typically makes them worse. Instead, encourage your mind to think about something else: another person.
   • Think about the person you are already in a relationship with, if you are in one. Ponder a time when you felt really close and connected to the person. You’ll likely find that experiencing these feelings kick the other person out of your head.
   • If you aren't in a relationship, focus on someone else you admire, such as a close friend, a family member, or a respectable member of your community.
2. Use your imagination. Play mind games with yourself whenever you start to obsess about the person. Occupying your brain with a clever trick can stop the thoughts and encourage you to think about something else.
   • For instance, imagine your mind as a small room that has a person with a broom living in it. Think about the person sweeping away dust and dirt on the floor of that room whenever your infatuation enters your mind. Continue this game until the floor is completely clean and the thought leaves your brain.
3. Snap out of it, literally. Pain is an excellent deterrent and can be used to stop obsessive thoughts. Wrap a rubber band around your wrist and snap it against your skin whenever you begin to think of your infatuation. Eventually you’ll likely associate the pain with these thoughts and stop.
   • Combine the wrist snap with a visual aid, like a red light or a stop sign. Think of these images whenever the unwanted thoughts pop up.
4. Distract yourself. Redirect your brain by engaging in an activity. You’ll get your mind off of what you’re infatuated with while enjoying yourself at the same time.
   • For example, read a book, watch your favorite television show, exercise, or call someone. The positive feelings you generate from these activities will likely eventually replace the negative you feel over your infatuation.

Getting Help and Support

1. Talk to a professional. Patterns of infatuation are often indicative of a love addiction. You may have become dependent on the feelings you experience when you are infatuated with a person so you tend to repeat the same behaviors. A therapist may be able to help you break the cycle.
   • Ask your friends, family members, or a doctor for recommendations. Look online for names if you don’t feel comfortable asking those you know.
2. Consider the underlying issue. Talk with a therapist about why you became infatuated with this person. They may help you realize insecurities you have about yourself that were temporarily resolved because of the obsession. They may also help you discover a psychological reason for your infatuation.
   • For instance, you could have borderline personality disorder and may not know it. Infatuation and obsession over a person could be a sign that you are struggling with this condition.
3. Confide in your loved ones. Talking about your infatuation may help you realize a few things you never did before. Those close to you may be able to help you identify the reasons why your infatuation is senseless, which may give you the encouragement to move on. They can also offer you support when you’re feeling hopeless about the situation.
   • Consider also asking your support system to help you get over the person by spending more time with you, helping to eliminate the person’s presence in your life, and reminding you of how imperfect they are, when you’re struggling.

Sources and Citations

See also

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• Deal With a Boyfriend That Has ADHD
• Deal With Stress in Relationships
• Overcome Jealousy
• Tell Someone They're Moving Too Fast
• Stop Over Thinking in a Relationship
• Ignore a Guy That You Like
• Avoid Bad Relationships
• Fix a Huge Argument with Your Girlfriend
• Stop Arguing With Your Boyfriend

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