Recognize That You Have a Crush on Someone

Sometimes, it's hard to tell if you have a crush on someone or not. This article will help you understand what a crush is and figure out whether or not you actually have a crush on someone.

10 Second Summary

1. Figure out what the word "crush" means to you.
2. Note your behavior, feelings, and actions when you are around your potential crush.
3. Think about how much effort you put into your looks when you're around him or her.
4. Notice how much you think or talk about your potential crush.
5. Pay attention to your daydreams and who comes to mind when reading this.

Steps

Defining a ‘Crush’

  1. Know what a crush is. Urban Dictionary defines a crush as “a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.”[1] Crushes make you feel crazy emotions--like feeling shy and uncontrollably giddy at the same time. You can’t always choose who you have a crush on, but you can choose how you react once you figure out that you have a crush on someone.
  2. Know that there are different kinds of crushes. The term ‘crush’ gets thrown around a lot. It can mean that you simply have a passing infatuation with someone, or that you really like him or her.
    • The Friendly Crush (sometimes called a "squish"): It is important to remember that not all strong feelings are romantic. Letting yourself trust someone and become really close to someone, without necessarily having romantic feelings for them, is a really special thing. Wanting to be around a person all the time may just mean that you have gone from friends to best friends. Its totally normal to have a friend crush--you should want to hang out with your BFF as much as possible.
    • The Admiration Crush: When you idolize a person (like a celebrity, teacher, or classmate who has done something really cool) you may realize that you have really intense feelings about that person and what they have done. These feelings might be mistaken for romantic feelings simply because they are so intense. Feeling slightly awed in the presence of someone who has done something amazing or can teach you great things is natural. Often, its best to let a bit of time pass before really thinking too hard about these feelings. Generally once you have spent a lot of time with this person, you will have learned a lot from them and may begin to feel like you can stand on equal ground. You may find that your crush-like feelings simmer down once the initial awe of being in their presence wears off.
    • The Passing Crush: It is human nature to be attracted to other people. Even if you are in a great relationship, you still might find that you feel attracted to someone other than your romantic partner. This attraction is what we call a passing crush-- this new person may seem new and exciting, and they probably are, but that doesn’t mean you should reconsider the relationship you are in or, if you’re single, drop everything to try to be with him/her. Often times, passing crushes are spiked by being attracted--most often physically--to someone.
    • The Romantic Crush: Sometimes having a crush on someone really does mean you really, really like them--and in a romantic way at that. Having a romantic crush means that you want to be with that person in more than just a friendly way--you want to be their romantic partner. If you fantasize about kissing, holding hands with, or cuddling with that person, you probably have a romantic crush.
  3. Figure out how serious your crush is. By doing this, you can figure out how best to proceed--whether you should keep your feelings to yourself or share how you feel with your crush. Read the next sections to help you figure out just how strong you are crushing on that special someone.

Being Near Your Crush

  1. Consider your behavior around the person you think you might have a crush on. Paying attention to your physical behavior means noticing how you react instinctively when your crush is around. Different people will react differently, and generally it will be a subconscious reaction. Generally, when you have a crush you will react in one of two ways--either by becoming really shy and tongue-tied, or by becoming really outgoing.
    • The Shy Reaction: Do you suddenly feel like you might like to curl up into a ball when your crush is around? Do you blush incessantly and can’t seem to raise your eyes up from that suddenly very interesting speck of dirt on the ground? Do you suddenly feel like you don’t have anything witty or interesting to say? All of these reactions point towards having a crush.
    • The Outgoing Reaction: Do you suddenly feel the urge to tease your potential crush? When they are around, do you get the sudden urge to talk a lot because you want their attention? These are all symptoms of a crush as well. Just make sure that you don’t make your crush uncomfortable if you act this way--try not to tease them too much or they might not want to hang out with you.
    • The Flirty Reaction: Do you feel like you want your crush to notice what you are wearing or how your hair is done that day? Do you feel like giggling and joking around? Maybe you suddenly feel the urge to make sure you look as good as possible so that your crush will notice you. Batting your eyes, flipping your hair over your shoulder, and playing with your hair are all signs that you have a crush.
  2. Consider how you feel around your potential crush. The most common sign of having a crush is the feeling that you have a million butterflies flying around inside you when that special someone is around. It can also feel like your heart does a leap when you see your crush and you feel warm and giddy.
    • Do you suddenly feel nervous but excited at the same time? Maybe you feel like you want to hug that person or be with them all the time. These are all normal reactions to having a crush.
    • Do you feel like you would give up anything to be near that person?
  3. Notice how you act around your friends and your crush. Having a crush can cause you to suddenly want to be the star of the conversation, or not talk at all when your crush is around. If you are talking with a group of friends and the person you think you might have a crush on walks up do you do the following things, what do you do?[2] If so you have a crush, you will probably do one of the following:
    • Do you: suddenly feel like you need to be the center of attention? You might find yourself directing the conversation so that you can talk about something cool you did in an attempt to impress your crush. You may even talk over one of your friends so that your story can be heard. You might also try to make as much contact with your crush as possible, keeping their attention on you.
    • Do you: suddenly feel like you’re tongue-tied? Having a crush can sometimes make people feel embarrassed and like they don’t have anything to say. If you are normally talkative but suddenly clam up when that special person is around, you most likely have a crush.
    • Do you: feel like your friends sort of disappear when your crush walks up? You may be surrounded by people but suddenly all you can see is your crush. You might smile a lot, even if what your friends are talking about isn’t funny. If your friends asked you something, would you have a hard time paying attention to the question because you’re focused on that special person? These are all signs that you have a crush.
  4. Decide whether or not you’re putting more effort into your appearance. A major sign of having a crush on someone is wanting to look nice around that person. Do you spend more time getting dressed in the morning? Have you bought new clothes you thought your crush might like? Do you spend an extra amount of time getting your hair or makeup just right, just in case you see your crush that day? If so, you most definitely have a crush.

Being Away From Your Crush

  1. Consider whether or not your crush is all you think about. If you find yourself, thinking about that special person more than you think about anything else, you most likely have a crush.
    • Perhaps you are at dinner with your family but you aren’t paying attention to the conversation because you are wondering what your crush is doing.
    • Maybe you’re hanging out with your friends but secretly you wish that you were hanging out with your crush.
    • When you are going to sleep at night, do you think about what it would be like to kiss your crush goodnight?
  2. Notice whether or not you talk about your crush a lot. Do you find yourself bringing that person up in conversation with your friends all the time? A major sign that you have a crush is when your friends tell you that you talk about that specific person all the time. If you feel comfortable doing so, it would be a good idea to talk to your best friends about thinking that you might have a crush on someone. They can help you figure your feelings out and might have some ideas about how to get to know your crush better.
    • Be careful who you talk to about having a crush. Don’t just go blabbing to any random friend about your crush. If you do that, someone might tell your crush and then you might get embarrassed. Only tell your best friends--the friends you can trust the most.
  3. Consider whether or not you’ve changed anything about your life with your crush in mind. Do you have any habits or patterns you have gotten rid of or changed in the hopes of getting your crush’s attention?
    • Do you walk by their locker a million times in the hopes of seeing your crush?
    • Have you changed the path you take to class because you know he/she walks that way?
    • You have taken a new and deep interest in a subject that you know your crush is interested in, like photography or rock climbing.
  4. Pay attention to your internal reaction when someone brings your crush up in conversation. Often, when you have a crush, you will feel excited when your crush gets brought up in conversation. If someone mentions your crush in passing do you:
    • Feel excited? Suddenly get that feeling like a bunch of butterflies are flying around your stomach? Feel like your heart might leap out of your chest? Blush and giggle? Get tongue-tied and flustered? If any of these things happen, you have a crush on someone.
  5. Pay attention to your daydreams. There is a difference between thinking about someone and daydreaming about someone. Thinking about someone means you wonder what that person is doing, or how he/she is feeling. Daydreaming is when you fantasize about things that you want to happen. People who have crushes on other people tend to daydream about their crushes a lot.
    • If you daydream about that certain someone and imagine you two going on adventures together, holding hands, kissing, or anything romantic like that, you most likely have a crush on that person.
  6. Notice if things remind you of your potential crush. Being reminded of that special someone when listing to a song, watching a movie, or reading book is a definite sign that you have a crush.[2]
    • If you listen to a romantic song and think, ‘Hey, that’s how I feel!’ you have a crush.
    • If you watch a movie like Titanic and envision you and your special someone as Jack and Rose, you have a crush.
    • If you read Romeo and Juliet and immediately identify with the hopelessly deep love of the main characters, you have a crush.
  7. Consider your thoughts while reading this article. While reading this, has there been one specific person on your mind while reading this article? If you answer yes, it means you have a crush on that person.

Tips

  • When you realize you have a crush on someone, don't freak out. Let yourself get used to your feelings before acting on them.
  • Don't get your crushes mixed up with "friend" crushes! Friend crushes can easily happen with the opposite sex as easily as "romantic" crushes happen.
  • Get to know your crush. Sometimes, how you see them (or where you'd place them on the pedestal) is not necessarily how your crush really is.
  • Try to help them when they need help. So if you help them out, then that might bring you closer together. Don't make your feelings too obvious, or else they will get the sense that somethings up and start to move away from you.
  • If you have a crush on someone, you have a choice tell them or keep it a secret. Also, if you don't trust your friends with your secrets, don't tell them. They might blab it to the wrong person who would tell your crush leaving your crush feeling awkward.
  • Only tell trusted friends, because if you tell too many people, everyone will know.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=crush
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/19-signs-you-are-obsessed-with-your-crush/
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