Enjoy Being Alone

If you're reading this you're probably really bored and, at the moment, have no one to be with. Whether you long for a boyfriend or girlfriend, or miss your family and friends, this guide can help you cope with living alone. Keep in mind that humans are indeed social animals, but that doesn't mean that we can't be perfectly happy outside of society too.

Steps

Learning to Love Your Solitude

  1. Learn to embrace being alone. Solitude is a time for reflection, for thinking about things more deeply. In a world increasingly focused on speed and competitiveness, solitude is precious and something to be treasured.
  2. Be happy. Live a life of optimism. Happiness comes from within, regardless of your situation. Don’t use being alone as an excuse for not enjoying your life; make something good from it.
  3. Do everything you would normally do with a partner or friend. Many times it isn't the partner or friend you are missing, but the activities and hobbies you shared. Take yourself out for a date. For example, if you would have gone out to dinner or to a movie on a date, then take yourself out to a movie or to a nice restaurant. Don't hold yourself back.

Creative Activities

  1. Write. Write a story or two. This not only increases your imagination, but also keeps you happy. This highly increases your optimism. You can also write some poetry.
  2. Read. Time spent alone is good time to catch up on some of your reading. Not only is it fun and enjoyable, but it's also self-education and a way to round yourself as a person.
    • Consider spending some time with classics such as "Moby Dick," "A Christmas Carol," "Romeo and Juliet," "The Martian Chronicles," "Great Expectations," or "Tales of Mystery and Imagination."
    • Or choose a genre to explore: Sci-Fi greats include "Stranger In a Strange Land," "Fahrenheit 451," and the "Dune" series. Horror: "Salem's Lot," "The Stand," and "Dracula." Fantasy: "Lord of the Rings," "Chronicles of Narnia," and "Harry Potter." Or just regular fiction: "East of Eden," "To Kill a Mockingbird," or "A Farewell to Arms."
    • Poetry is cool, too, and nothing makes you look cooler than when someone says, "Oh my God, you actually know that by heart?" Great poetry: "Charge of the Light Brigade," "Ulysses," "She Walks In Beauty," "How Do I Love Thee," and Shakespeare's Sonnets - #29 is great!
    • You also have the opportunity to check out some playwrights such as; Edward Albee, David Mamet, Neil Simon and Tennessee Williams. Each playwright incorporates an interesting view and characters whose lives are constantly being turned on their heads.
  3. Listen to lots of music. If you are a music fan then you can enjoy being alone by listening to music you enjoy or music that brings back memories of certain events.
    • Listening to natural sounds like the sound of the thunder and rain, chirping birds, flowing rivers and such more sounds helps you clear your mind. It helps in relaxing and de-stressing, thus, leaves you happier and more calm when you are alone.
  4. Sing. Or, if you don't like singing, try dance. It really helps as you get engaged in something and research shows that exercising or dancing releases the bad emotions in person. Plus, if you think you are not a good dancer or singer, you are wrong since you aren't doing this for anyone else, it's for yourself, so just let go!
  5. Draw. Drawing is a fun and effective activity to be tried during one's leisure time. You do not have to be a Picasso to draw but can continue painting and drawing as you wish. It helps to relax, portray your feelings and de-stress. You can see the result at the end after being satisfied with your own drawing!

Learning Opportunities

  1. Learn something new. Learning is the most important aspect of living alone. It helps to keep the boogeyman away, and also gives you something to talk about when you do have to actually enter society. Learning is also incredibly more efficient when you don't have social responsibilities like family to take care of, or a girlfriend or boyfriend to entertain.
    • Learning isn't just exclusive to books (although they are a great source of knowledge). You can learn to do anything by just practicing. Enrolling in classes is fun and also helps with the social life - you will meet new people in your classes. If you're not so much into the meeting people, the Internet is a great way to learn pretty much everything (That's what this site's for!).
  2. Consider learning in areas you've never ventured before. This might include:
    • Indoor activities, a foreign language, painting, yoga, mathematics, science, art appreciation, a musical instrument such as piano or flute.
    • Outdoor activities: Gardening, fencing, tennis, golf.
    • Or a combination: Meaning, things you can do indoors and out, such as photography or drawing.

Reflection Time

  1. Think. Reflect on life and greater meanings; be introspective. Contemplate or ponder things.
    • Above all, contemplation is one of the most important self-building things you can do. Think about what makes you you. What do you believe in? Why? Are there any things that don't seem right to you? What do you believe at face value (or accept as a matter of faith)?
  2. Take up reading philosophy. This is a great way to improve your thinking and reasoning skills. It will give you interesting topics that will stretch and bend your brain to help you understand your view of reality. Keep in mind that just because someone believes in something it doesn't mean you have to if you don't like it.
    • Philosophers: Socrates, Plato, Nietzsche, Descartes, Aristotle, Kant, Rand, Marx
  3. Don't over-analyse things independent of you. It is easy to read-into experiences, feelings, thoughts, and attitudes of others and make judgements that are really founded on nothing more than your own naive perception. This can quickly become a negative activity and get you down. Realize that you don't have all the facts and that's just fine.

Finding Connections with Others

  1. Get a pet. Humans need affection, without it there is a risk of becoming bitter and hating the world around you. Pets are often a source of affection and will give loads of it endlessly.
    • Pets also provide someone to talk to. No, it's not weird that you talk to your pet, it's weird if you don't. Just be cautious that your pet doesn't talk back (unless if it is one of the few types of birds that can do so). If so, seek professional help.
    • If you are aloof and self-sufficient, tropical fish, hamsters, budgies or finches are great choices. If you like a little interaction, but not a lot of maintenance, try a cat. If you want to be very hands-on, spend lots of time and get lots of feedback, a dog is for you.
    • Getting a pet doesn't mean getting a dog or cat right away. Often, if you are unprepared to deal with this level of responsibility, the experience will be terrible for both you and the animal. Don't be fooled into thinking a smaller animal like a rabbit or bird won't need lots of care - a rabbit needs daily human contact and several hours of time to run about a day, not to mention cleaning it out. Fully research any animal you are considering as a pet then go to your local animal shelter, there are hundreds of lovely animals there just waiting for a home! Some animal shelters will let you 'foster' a pet, which gives the animal a much needed break from the confines of the shelter and gives you the companionship you crave with-out a long-term commitment.
  2. Join an online community.Don't limit your online activities to just games. Join forums or chat rooms to meet new people also. Take whatever you're interested in and find other people like you.

Keeping busy

  1. Exercise. Now is the time to get that body you've always wanted. Instead of just pigging out on junk food and sitting in front of the TV all night, do some push-ups or sit-ups.
    • Rediscover the fun to be had in simple exercises. Riding a bike around your neighborhood becomes less work and more fun as you do it.
    • Be consistent. Exercise takes willpower and diligence. Make a schedule and stick to it. Keep it easy at first and you will discover your limits. Or, join a gym and create new friends there.
  2. Go outside. It's a big world out there, and you're only seeing a small fraction of it. Forget the people, just enjoy what life has to offer. Once you do that, then people will want to know and be with you. Frankly, you won't have a choice but to have friends!
  3. Get involved. Do some charity work as it can make you feel good about yourself and gives you something to do in all your free time.



Tips

  • Remember that life has it's seasons. It is constantly changing. So even if you desire to be with a significant other, it'll come when it's supposed to come. Be patient to let your life take it's own course, for everyone's path and story is different and the present isn't always going to be the future.
  • Go out for a walk and get some fresh air- morning sun will boost your energy, at night, air will loosen any stress.
  • Don't let others (especially married friends and colleagues)influence or pressure you into feeling somehow guilty or inadequate about your single/live-alone status. The single life isn't for everybody, obviously, but neither is marriage or cohabiting couple arrangements. So to each his/her own. Revel in your independence, and the choices you've made regarding your life and living alone.
  • Being single and living alone shouldn't mean that you have sloppy routines, neglect your health, or be disorganized and messy around the house. Make the effort to stay fit, eat regular meals, and keep the house and belongings tidy. It does feel better to be self-sufficient and organised.

Warnings

  • Be careful before falling in love; being single can be more fun than having a whiny boyfriend or girlfriend. So be careful how you choose; it could cost you your sanity and free life
  • It's important not to forget others in your life - keep in touch with other people and continue to expand your social network. For extroverts, enjoying being alone may come as more of a challenge.
  • Just think that being alone is temporary, you will always meet new people
  • On-line communities, and especially on-line games such as World of Warcraft can become very addictive to some people. Learn to balance your new interest with other things that are both important and enjoyable in your life. If you find that participating in such a community or game is becoming addictive, stop immediately and re-evaluate your situation.
  • An excess of philosophical thinking may lead to depression; but this is not always the case. Don't believe me? Look at what Aristotle accomplished.
  • If you're bored, you may be boring. You may have nothing to talk about at parties or gatherings, or may feel ill at ease contributing to other social situations, and therefore find yourself alone a lot. By making yourself more interesting, you'll also find more things to interest you. Be careful about making a change that doesn't fit your personality. Being honest with yourself and true to your own individuality is more important.
  • Be careful when talking to strangers on the Internet. You hear it all the time, but when you are sad, lonely, depressed or bored, you are more vulnerable and more likely to go along with someone else's ideas. Talking is fine, but leave it at that.
  • Be careful about getting addicted to being alone as in the end happiness is real only when shared

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