Start a Relationship

Romantic relationships can be confusing and a lot of fun. Sometimes, the hardest part is starting one. It takes patience to find a good person, get to know them, and enter kick off the romance. The good news is that if you do it well, you can have a happy, healthy relationship.

Steps

Finding a Partner

  1. Make a list of qualities you find attractive. Many people meet someone and jump straight into a relationship because they prefer not to be single. While this does fill one of your needs, you have no way of knowing of that person will make you happy in the long run. The first thing that you should do is reflect on what you want out of a relationship and out of a partner, and what attracts you to someone else. Think about things like:[1]
    • Do I want to be with someone who is career or family oriented? What physical features do I find attractive in a person? What about a person’s personality attracts me? Do I want to be with someone who is spontaneous or predictable?
    • Think about your list, but remember that no one can ultimately make you happy but yourself. Think about the traits that would compliment what you want in a happy life, rather than depending upon someone else to bring fulfillment to you.
  2. Do things you enjoy. The best way to meet people that have things in common with you is to go out and do the things you love doing. Inevitably, you will meet someone that enjoys doing the same things. This is a great start to a potential relationship, as you will naturally attract people when you are doing something you enjoy.[1]
    • For example, if you are an avid book reader, you might join a book club for people around your age.
    • There are many organizations and groups from book clubs to adventure clubs that can help you spark a relationship with someone who enjoys similar things.
  3. Consider your social circle. The friends you already have are likely to have common interests and know other people with interests like your own. Sometimes, a friendship can transition into a relationship easily if there’s an attraction between the two people. Friends can also introduce you to someone that they know and think you’d like.
    • Do not try to force a relationship with a friend. This can lead to a failed relationship and a failed friendship.
  4. Explore the internet. Though the internet makes it easy for people to create a false representation of themselves, there are people out there who are looking for genuine relationships. You can explore dating sites and social media to meet people and get to know them. Just be careful when going out with a person you meet on the internet. You should always meet in a safe, public place.[2]

Making a Connection

  1. Spend time together. Once you find someone that you are interested in, spend time with them. Go out on dates, meet up for lunch, or even just go for a walk and talk. Seeing each other frequently will give you the chance to connect with the other person.[2]
    • You should not see each other constantly. A few times a week is usually healthy, but smothering each other every day can actually be damaging to a new relationship. Moreover, coping with space may show you are not needy, which can also be attractive.
  2. Learn about the other person. While you are spending time with the other person, it is important to ask genuine questions and pay attention to their answers. The more you learn about the person, the deeper your relationship can grow. They will also appreciate your honest desire to understand and care for them.[1]
    • For example, you might ask them about what things they liked to do as kids or whether or not they have any family nearby.
    • Delay sexual intimacy until you feel comfortable communicating with them. That way you are less likely to have a misunderstanding when you finally do hook up.
  3. Create trust. Creating trust takes time. You have to be consistent and show up when the other person needs you. You have to keep promises that you make to them, whether it’s showing up for a date or helping them clean their house. It is also important to always tell them the truth, and if they ask something that you are uncomfortable sharing, tell them that.[3]
    • For example, if they asked you something deeply personal on a second date, you could say “I’m not really comfortable talking about that right now, but we can discuss it when we know each other better.”
    • Trust often happens when you make yourself vulnerable. Opening yourself up to someone and showing them both your positive traits and your fears and insecurities help create deeper, lasting connections.[4]

Committing

  1. Express your interest in a sustained relationship. Even though you are seeing each other frequently and going out on dates, the other person can’t be sure of your intentions unless you tell them. Let the person know that you are ready and interested in a relationship. You should also be willing to hear whether they want the same thing or not.[2]
    • For example, you could say “We’ve been going out for a while, and I know that we both enjoy being around each other. I just wanted to let you know that I am interested in a serious relationship when the time is right for both of us.”
  2. Discuss boundaries. Once you agree to be in a relationship, there are certain rules that come with that. The tricky part is that these rules are not the same for every person or couple. You should both sit down and discuss what boundaries you expect to be followed in the relationship.[2]
    • For example, your partner might be okay with staying friends with exes, while that makes you uncomfortable. You discuss both sides, and agree on a set of boundaries that makes you both comfortable.
    • Creating boundaries can help you to find a happy medium between what makes you comfortable and what makes your partner comfortable. For example, you might agree that being friends with exes is okay, but constantly communicating with them is crossing the line.
  3. Be willing to compromise. One of the hardest things about a relationship is that both people must be willing to compromise to make it work. That means you will have to do some things that you don’t like, and so will the other person. Keep an open line of communication about the relationship, and make sure that both people are giving and taking.[2]
    • For example, you might both hate doing dishes and laundry. As a compromise, one of you could do dishes, and the other do laundry.
    • Work to keep your lines of communication open throughout the course of your relationship. Unspoken issues may arise and create even larger problems later on if not addressed.


Tips

  • Be confident in yourself.
  • Be hygienic
  • Treat the other person with respect..

Warnings

  • Never compromise your morals.
  • Be sure to understand the risks of intercourse.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201307/5-steps-take-starting-new-relationship
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-find-lasting-love.htm
  3. ↑ http://www.psychalive.org/starting-a-relationship/
  4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/trust-and-vulnerability-in-relationships/
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