Stop Being Viewed As a Nerd
While there's certainly nothing wrong with being a bit of a nerd, and certainly nothing wrong with being yourself, sometimes life demands we act as social chameleons. Whether its for a job fair or for meeting a new group of people, there are occasions where some harmless conformity is necessary. Fortunately this is as simple as dressing down, being engaged and acting socially neutral.
Contents
Steps
Looking Less Like a Nerd
- Avoid dressing "nerdy." The most powerful social stereotypes towards nerdy people concern their clothing and appearance. Society anticipates a nerd as someone who is dressed slovenly or unkempt. Perhaps some or all of their clothing is branded by icons from their favorite movies or video games. If you're looking to not be seen as a nerd--for whatever reason--look to your appearance first.
- Avoid over-accessorizing. The popular image of nerd always involves the subject essentially wearing their interests, so keep away from big logos or clothes with images.
- If you wear glasses, think about wearing contact lenses. Losing glasses not only helps you make stronger eye contact, it avoids probably the largest trope of nerdy dress: glasses.
- Dress neutrally. Especially for those looking for social camouflage in a professional environment, wear nothing which you might say "makes a statement." Avoid bright colors, anything overly provocative, and anything with words or symbols. Save your fun clothes for when you can be your fun self; don't let your clothes give any impression when you're trying to get by unnoticed.
- For men, this will most likely be slacks and a button-down dress shirt, tucked in with a belt. If it's not an overly formal occasion, jeans and a well-fitting, plain t-shirt ought to do.
- For women in a professional setting, try slacks or a conservative shirt with a blouse that's not too revealing. For school attire or just going about your day, look to your peers who are considered especially fashionable (or at least not nerdy) and try to emulate their style.
- Pay attention to contemporary fashion trends. What some term "nerd chic" is seeping into the fashion world, so don't be afraid to re-work some stuff you've already got. For either of the sexes, don't shy away from simply mimicking contemporary trends in pursuit of not looking nerdy.
- Formal wear turned casual is a good idea, particularly for men. If you have a sports jacket or suit coat that fits well, try wearing it with a image-less t-shirt and jeans.
- If you're really trying to flush away your nerd image, swing to the other side of the pendulum and dress "preppy." Consider brands such as Lacoste, Abercrombie&Fitch, and Ralph Lauren.
Acting Less Nerdy
- Be open. To combat the common view that nerds obsess to the exclusion of others, never be afraid to try new things, especially in any setting where you're trying not to be seen as nerdy. Look to be the first one around to step up to the group activity, to offer to get the circle started in karaoke, or to be the first in the pool.
- Listen and engage. If people expect a nerd to be over-eager about the topics they love and apathetic about anything else, upend their expectation by being a focused, active listener.
- Take interest in what others have to say, and follow up in conversation with appropriate questions.
- "I've never rock climbed before, are there a lot of good climbing gyms in town?"
- "That's amazing you've played violin for so long; what's your favorite thing about it?"
- Try not to answer every question in class, even if you know every answer. People may interpret it as showing off, and it's never bad form to let someone else take the spotlight, even if only for a little.
- Take interest in what others have to say, and follow up in conversation with appropriate questions.
- Stand tall and speak up. A big part of the nerd stereotype is the expectation of shyness and social paranoia. If you're looking to shed that skin, the first and most important factor is knowing how to speak up for yourself. This doesn't mean becoming harsh or abrasive, but instead learning to have confidence in what you're saying in any conversation.
- Mind your posture. "Stand tall" isn't just a phrase, it's good advice. Be sure not to slouch in order to appear interested.
- Don't be afraid to offer your own opinions. Many people opt for constant agreement for a smooth conversation, but dissent (when appropriate) is often a sign of resolve and confidence.
- Be sure to speak up when conversing, and do your best to appear relaxed (even if you're not) when doing so.
- Don't over-obsess. Though popularly associated with a love of gaming (whether electronic or table top), comics, and movies, most people would label "nerd" anyone who had a special affection for something, even if only ping pong or ballet. So, keep a check on your own obsessions when looking to disguise your nerdiness, but be sure to save time for them after the fact.
- In a conversation, don't rush to talk about your favorite thing. Don't ignore it, but allow your opposite in the conversation draw it casually out of you.
- If you're the academic sort, be sure to have hobbies outside of your education. Remember that emotional and social intelligence is something crafted outside of the classroom.
- If it does come up, avoid overwhelming the conversation with your knowledge. Offer little, but always welcome questions.
Staying Yourself
- Keep good friends. Hopefully, you'll be able to drop the social chameleon bit some time. It helps to have good friends who know you for you, and who share your interests. Whether it's work or school that calls for hiding one's self, it's always important to have least one other person around whom you can let your guard down.
- Don't forget your own self. If you get too caught up in playing another version of yourself, you risk losing who you've been. Or, in a more real sense, you risk alienating the people who are close to you. If cloaking your nerdiness is a means to the attention of others, don't get trapped playing that part forever.
- Make sure any harmless conformity doesn't turn into outright fabrication. Don't lie or feign interest in something just to hide yourself. It not only offends the other person, it's demeaning to you.
- Learn to balance. If you truly find yourself so overwhelmed by accusations of nerdiness, consider re-evaluating your interests and hobbies. Don't change just for the sake of change, but really take the time to make sure you're not only staying in your comfort zone for the benefit of being comfortable. Life is generally enriched by trying new things and by making sure we don't focus on any one thing at the expense of another.
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