Talk to a Girl That You Haven't Spoken to in a While

You're at the mall. You glance across the food court. There she is. But it's been since forever since you've seen her. 'Do you approach her? Absolutely. See Step 1 for the best ways to approach her.

Steps

Before You Go Over

  1. Try to catch her eye. This helps give her time to put a name with a face and will give you a clue about how to approach her. In fact, you might not even have to: she might come over to you herself.
  2. Take a deep breath. It doesn't matter that there's no reason to be nervous: sometimes you are anyway. Taking a few deep breaths (breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth) can help make you feel more at ease.

The Approach

  1. Take your time walking over. Especially if you didn't manage to catch her eye, it's courteous to give her time to notice you approaching.
    • Again, when you haven't seen someone for a long time, and especially if it's in a place where you don't normally see the person (like bumping into a non-work friend outside of work) you want to give the girl a little time to collect herself. Remember, she might be nervous, too.
  2. Smile. You're happy to see her, right? Show it!
  3. Be prepared to remind her of your name, and don't be offended if she forgets it. Seriously. Some people have better memories than others, and we've all had the experience of remembering someone very well but forgetting his or her name.
    • If you sense she doesn't remember your name, a polite thing to do is to remind her of it. You can do this by handing her your card or contact info and letting her glance down to see your name, or find an excuse to refer to yourself. Example: "I saw you, and I'm thinking, 'Will she remember me? Of course she will! How can anyone forget [Your Name Here]." Corny, right? And she'll see right through it. But she'll think it's cute, and if she really did forget your name, she'll be grateful.
  4. Keep the conversation short, especially if she is with other people. This is a great time to say "hi" and exchange contact info but not necessarily have a long catch-up session, even if you have a lot to talk about. If things are going well, you might suggest that instead of standing awkwardly outside of the department store, you both go grab coffee and sit down. Extra points for buying it for her.

Afterwards

  1. If you exchange contact info, and you decide you would rather not wait for her to call or email, just shoot her a short, "it was great to run into you!" email. Not everyone is big into getting back in touch with old friends, and she might have moved on.
  2. If you decide to call her, keep the call short and suggest the two of you do the catching up in person.

Tips

  • Don't be offended if she has forgotten your name. Some people simply have poor memories.
  • Keep in mind that it might not be a good time for her to talk.
    • If she either ignores you or acts annoyed, it could be that your timing is bad. She could be in the middle of an interview, or a date, or out with her uptight grandma who doesn't like it when she talks to boys.
  • If you carry a business or other kind of card containing your contact info, make sure you have one ready to give to her to prevent fumbling for it later. Remember, she'll probably want to get back in touch!
    • If you don't have a pre-printed card, try to find a pen and paper on which you can write down your email and/or cell phone number. There's nothing worse than wanting to exchange email addresses or phone numbers but not having a way to do it.

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