Ask Someone out if You're Shy

Everyone gets nervous when asking out someone they're interested in. Yet, while everyone goes through it, it can take a little more effort if you're shy. No matter, it is perfectly possible to manage your shyness enough to be able to pluck up the nerve and ask that special someone out. Get ready to give it a try!

Steps

Preparing yourself

  1. Look your best. Focus on the three key things that make a difference: hygiene and style, plus a smile. Be clean, wear comfortable and well maintained clothes, all while keeping a smile.
  2. Practice in the mirror. There is nothing quite so helpful as rehearsal; prepping your mind helps you to feel familiar with the situation. And when you have a speech prepared, it will go a lot better. If you don't practice you may blurt out: 'ummm er wanna...go out...with, umm...lets date' or something silly like that Just go, "Hey, you're so and so aren't you? Wanna hang out some time?" Keep practicing until it feels natural, or at least, okay.

Attracting attention

  1. Find your target. Check that it's a good situation to ask someone out in––is the situation and space free of interference, quiet but not too quiet and comfortable? Then check how the person you're keen to ask out appears. Is he or she looking approachable? Read their body language: Do they seem open or does it seem like they want to keep to themselves?
    • You may not want to ask out anyone when they are with friends. Especially for girls, don't ask people out when they are with their friends or they will get shy as well and not be honest. Wait until they're alone.
  2. Get noticed. Don't draw attention to yourself in all the wrong ways. It can be easy for shy people to do or say things that can seem aloof to others; this can unintentionally give all the wrong impressions. Just smile sweetly and make eye contact, but don't be scary. Don't stare, just give a sweet cute smile and when they look at you, look for a bit then quickly look away. This will leave them wanting more.
  3. Be flirty to attract their attention. If you're a girl, you might flick your hair or give flirty licks of your lips. If you're a guy, you might run your fingers through your hair and shake your hair. You don't want to come off as too strong, so try to start off by being subtle.
  4. Break the touch barrier. Touching their upper arms, if you're a girl, will make the guy feel more masculine. If you're a guy, don't touch too much because girls can be sensitive. Avoid the pelvic area and upper leg area and chest area. The cheek, arms and hair are more appropriate.
  5. Be confident. There is nothing to worry about, they are just another human being. Just say to yourself: "If I don't ask them out someone else might and I've blown my chances". Keep a smile on your face and act happy.
  6. Approach them calmly and casually. When they're sat alone just sit next to them and eventually start a general chat. If you're already acquaintances, ask them casual things such as "Hey, How are you?.... How have things been?"

Troubleshooting

  1. If you're really scared get a trusted friend to do it. But this can cause problems. You may trust your friend a lot but things can get erratic when situations like these arise. Besides, asking yourself will make you seem more confident; people like that.
  2. Don't seem desperate. Don't always flirt with him or cry if he kisses someone else, it'll make you look obsessed.
  3. Deal with rejection. It can be hard but we all go through it. If you get rejected, lighten up. Many people have been rejected. There are plenty more fish in the sea, plenty more flowers in the garden and plenty more guys out there. Who knows, they may just change their mind if they see you again.
  4. Keep your head held high. Be proud of yourself at all times.
  5. Trust yourself. You did it. That confirms that you can do again.

Tips

  • Make sure that you're not being over the top with your appearance. Believe it or not, the majority of people actually prefer the natural look. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin, it'll help people feel more comfortable around you.
  • Don't talk too much, or he'll/she'll get annoyed and not listen depending on the person.
  • Wear attractive scents. Guys: Aftershave. Girls: Impulse/perfume
  • Enjoy it. Asking someone else can be a good experience.
  • Have flirty eyelashes. Bat them to seem innocent and cute.
  • Touching your own chest lightly can make them want you.
  • Don't flirt too much; you can look desperate or overly flirtatious.
  • Don't be stingy when she/he asks you out and be nice and gentle when he/she asks you out.
  • Playing hard to get isn't always a good thing. If they are just beginning to take interest, you need to give them some positive attention. Just don't do it every second of the day, because your life doesn't revolve around them.
  • Stay calm and do NOT panic!

Warnings

  • Don't make them feel uncomfortable.
  • If you're with a friend, don't start giggling and/or show off. This can send all the wrong messages and you just might make the situation harder for yourself.
  • Don't ask someone out over phone or internet. eg Facebook, mobiles, Skype.
  • Try not to blush- it goes two ways, it either makes them think you are nervous in a cute way or they think you are aren't confident enough.

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