Ask a Girl to a Dance
Are you a bit too shy to ask your favorite girl to the school dance? Have you ever wondered how some kids seem to know somebody will say "yes" before they ask? Asking a girl to a dance is all about destroying your fear of rejection and being the real you. Because a guy with nothing to lose is a guy girls want to be around.
Steps
- Find out whether she already has a date for the dance by asking her or her friends. By phrasing the question casually, you can find out what you need to know with minimal risk. Try asking, "So who are you going to the dance with?" If you know one of her friends, you can also ask them, but be aware that the friend may tell the girl you asked.
- Don't ask her the day of the dance. There's a chance that she'll think she wasn't your first choice (Don't ask her six or seven days before the dance either. There's a good chance that she'll find someone else that asked her to the dance). Ask her around two to three weeks before the dance. That way, her chances are lowered to 20 to 10% (and also your chances of making a bad move). Also, it will give her time to figure out what to wear.
- Make sure that you two are alone (not suspiciously alone) before you ask her to the dance, as this will be more comfortable for everybody. Take a deep breath and walk by her. Pay a compliment and start a conversation. Don't just blurt out your question to get it over with. No matter how nervous you are, take your time. The chances are that she will have made her decision before you ask her anyway. If she says "no," do not ask why. Say, "Oh, all right. That's fine." Don't make it evident if she's hurt your feelings. If you are worried that she will say "no," but you really need a date, do something that will sweep her off her feet, something so "cute" that she can't say "no."
- Drive to pick her up for the dance; if you cannot drive, then meet her at the dance. Try not to both go in the same ride as your parents or siblings.
- Tell her that she looks nice. This is very important as many girls put a lot of time into looking nice for a school dance...and for their dates. Let her know that you appreciate it. If she compliments your outfit, say thanks. Do not wait for her to compliment you first.
- Escort your date at the dance; be by her side unless she wants to talk or go somewhere for a few minutes.
- Be sure to give your date some time to herself. Girls don't like guys that keep their dates to themselves, it might cause you a rejection. So give your dance some personal, private time.
- If it's an informal dance and a slow song is playing, her friends will most likely push you two together. Don't be alarmed or angry. It's just how they show their encouragement. Smile at her and talk; make her laugh. She's probably just as nervous as you are. If she doesn't seem to want to dance, let it go.
- Ask your date to dance. You may be formal and ask, "May I have this dance?" but if she is a friend of yours, you might want to take a more casual approach, such as "Would you like to dance?" or even "Wanna dance?"
- Talk to her a little during the slow dances. Talking makes it a little more comfortable for the both of you.
- If you'd like to dance with another friend, get permission from your date first. Going without consulting her is disrespectful and might give the wrong message. If she does it to you, don't mention it. Don't ruin it for the both of you. If she asks to dance with a friend, say "yes."
- Give her a hug when the dance is done. Tell her that you had a great time. She will probably say the same.
- Remember this, guys: Girls think that it's cute and funny when guys dance in the group; leaning against the wall doesn't work. More than likely, she won't expect you to ask her for a dance if you don't dance yourself.
- Follow up. When you see your date in the days after the dance, talk to her but don't really mention the dance. Put the dance in the past, even if it went well, focus on working on relationship to make it serious.
- Have a really good hygiene. People don't like others that don't take care of themselves.
- Before the day of the dance ask your date what they like. This will work because when you know what they like! For an example, if she likes chocolate, give them a little (or big if you want) box of chocolates and this will make them think you're a nice person and that will make a great relationship.
- Remember, no means no. If she says she doesn't like you, or says no and seems serious, then back off! Nothing ticks a girl off more than an annoying guy that doesn't leave her alone. Not only is it rude, but it can make her hate you more.
Tips
- If she says, "I'll think about it," don't call her for a confirmed response. Wait until she calls you back for a confirmed response. If she doesn't call back three days before the date of the dance, take it as a no.
- Be sure to talk to her and show that you're interested in being her friend.
- Don't worry about being yourself; that's what the girl likes you for (if she said "yes").
- Girls like to think that guys think they are pretty. When you first see her in her outfit for the dance, look her straight in the eyes and say "You look beautiful."
- Listen to what she has to say.
- Always ask her yourself. Never over the internet or through friends.
- Do not prepare what to say or practice in front of a mirror. Trying to memorize and then present a prepared speech will just make you more nervous. Go with the flow.
- She most likely won't like to be called sexy or hot, instead call her beautiful, pretty, or gorgeous.
- Get some moves that won't embarrass your date!
- Pull a chair out for her.
- Although you must be nice and proper, don't overdo it and be 'corny'.
- If it's a formal dance, bring a rose to pin to your shirt and a rose wrist band corsage to put on her wrist. It's generous and proper, and she will love it and appreciate you for it.
- Dress nicely.
- Don't forget about her; remember that she is your date for the dance, so always treat her with respect.
- Make arrangement to get home after the dance if you have not driven.
- Take a shower, use deodorant or antiperspirant, brush your teeth, and make your breath smell good. Don't overdo cologne. Most girls don't like men who wear too much cologne.
- Be a gentleman. Be charming.
- Remember this quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson: "It's better to have been loved and lost than never to have been loved at all." It may encourage you when you are rejected when you ask.
- Dances, like first dates, never set anything in stone. If you feel that the evening went poorly, the next time you see your date you'll have a golden chance to follow up. In the same way, you should consider future dances and dates if the evening goes well.
- Don't be overly creative in asking her to the dance. Keep it simple, especially if you have never dated her before.
- Be there at the right time to bring her to the dance.
- Be easy on yourself. Not everything has to be absolutely perfect.
- Make sure that you do this a few days before the dance to find out what she's wearing (if it's a dress-up type dance) so that you can match.
- Relax. It's only a dance. You can go to hundreds more if you want. If you act too nervous, she will begin to get nervous herself and possibly reject you.
- Always be a gentlemen, and check up on your date every now-and-then. It shows that you are interested in her.
- Be nice and respectful to her. No girl wants to dance with a guy who is rude.
- Have some private time to get to know her.
Warnings
- Never ever have a friend ask her for you; girls would rather you had the courage to do it yourself.
- Absolutely do not ask her around her friends
- Don't make it too awkward for her. She would want this to be a memorable night.
- People may downgrade you for going out with a certain girl, perhaps because they don't like you going out with her or don't think that she should be going with you. Ignore them. If you like her, that's all that matters.
- She may want to dance with other friends. Don't take that seriously either. If she asks you, it's okay. Remember that she said "yes" to go with you!
- Remember that no means no!
- Don't be creepy!
- If she runs away, it is probably because she is shy. Don't worry about it; she might still like you.
- Never ask on the phone or in a text message.
Things You'll Need
- A rose to pin and a rose wrist corsage
- A ride (If you can, pull in with a very nice car such as a Corvette. Girls love to be picked up in a nice car. You can rent a nice car if you want.)
- Something to give her (Don't forget to ask what she likes) If you're really shy like some people, don't worry, maybe you can see if she posts something on the Internet (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) there you can see what she likes, or you can just secret spy on her but never let her see you! The best way is of course to ask face to face, rather than sending a message. You can using instant messaging or Skype, but do not make the first thing that you say "So, what do you like?". Chat with her a while then you can slip it into the conversation.
