Ask a Person if They're Single

If you have recently met someone who you want to date, then it is important to find out if the person is available. This can be tricky, and you might be worried about coming off as nosy or too eager. However, there are some simple ways to find out of a person is single that will make it easy to ask for a date. These strategies will also help you to avoid an awkward situation if the person is already taken.

Steps

Taking a Direct Approach

  1. Smile and make eye contact. Doing some simple flirting is a good way to determine if someone is interested in you and it may also help you to determine if the person is single or not. If you flash a smile at someone and the person returns it, then this is a good sign.[1]
    • If you are standing across the room, try by making eye contact and smiling at the person. Doing this will send him or her the message that you would like to talk. If the person returns your gaze and smiles back, then you should approach him or her.
    • If the person looks away or does not return your smile, then he or she may not be interested.
  2. Engage in a little small talk. Some people find small talk annoying, but keep in mind that it can help you to find out if someone is single and may even lead to a deeper discussion later on.[2] After you approach someone, introduce yourself and strike up a conversation. Chatting with the person for a few minutes before you ask if he or she is single will give you a chance to learn a bit more about the person and decide if he or she is someone you’d like to date. Try chatting about:
    • The place you are at. For example, you could say something like, “This place has the best coffee! What are you drinking?”
    • The people you are with. For example, you could say something like, “That’s my friend George over there. Did you bring anyone?”
    • A recent event. For example, you could say something like, “Did you catch the game last night?”
  3. Ask if the person is in a relationship. When you feel like you’ve made a connection with the person you like, then you can ask if the person is in in a relationship. Make your question as direct as possible to avoid any confusion.
    • Try saying something like, “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you seeing anyone?”
    • If he or she says "yes," try not to show your disappointment. Just say something like, “That’s cool,” and then talk for a little longer before excusing yourself.
    • If the person says "no," don’t react with too much excitement. You might just say something like, “Cool. I’m not either.”
  4. Get a phone number or arrange a date. If this person is single and seems to be enjoying your company, then you can get his or her phone number and/or set up a date. There are many ways to ask someone out, but a simple approach might be best.
    • Try saying something like, “I am enjoying talking with you. Would you like to get together for dinner sometime?” Or, "We should talk again sometime. Can I get your phone number?" Or, "I'm going for a hike on Saturday. Want to come along?"
    • If the person rejects your invitation, then try not to get discouraged. It is possible that the person recently go out of a relationship and is not ready to date yet.

Taking an Indirect Approach

  1. Pay attention to body language. Noting the way that the person interacts with someone else can also help you to determine if he or she is taken. If this person is with a person or group of people, then pay attention to how he or she interacts with them. Try to glance at the person now and then to see how he or she is behaving.
    • For example, is the person leaning in towards someone and smiling?[1] Is the person standing closer to someone than is appropriate for friends? Is the person holding hands with anyone or touching someone on the arm or back? These things may indicate that the person is not single.
    • However, if the person is not displaying any intimate body language with anyone, then there is a good chance that he or she is single.
  2. Check for a ring.[3] A wedding or engagement ring is a dead giveaway that someone is taken. If you are close enough to see the person’s hands, then look for a ring on the person’s left hand. People usually wear wedding and/or engagement rings on the ring finger, which is the one next to the pinky finger.
    • If there is no ring, then there is a chance that this person is single. However, keep in mind that many people have committed relationships without being married.
  3. Introduce yourself. If you have reason to believe that the person is single, then you can introduce yourself and start to get to know the person you like. Just keep in mind that taking this approach may reveal that the person is or is not single within your first conversation, or it might take a while.
    • If the person is alone, try saying something like, “Hi. I’m __. What’s your name?”
    • If the person you’re interested in is in a large group, then you can introduce yourself to the whole group by saying something like: “Hi, I’m __. How does everybody here know each other?”
  4. Get to know the person. When you first meet someone, it is good to ask questions to get to know the person better. Allowing the person a chance to talk may also reveal whether or not he or she is seeing anyone. Some good getting-to-know-you questions include:[4]
    • Where did you grow up?
    • Where do you work? Do you like it?
    • Do you have any pets?
    • What do you like to do in your spare time?
  5. Ask about weekend plans. If the person is not single, then he or she likely has plans with a significant other over the weekend. You can casually ask about the person’s weekend plans and this may give you an answer to your question and it can also be a good way to ask for a date.[5]
    • Try saying something like, “What do you have planned for this weekend?”
    • If the person says nothing, then you can try saying something like, “I was thinking of going to see a movie. Would you be into that?”
    • If the person says that he or she has plans with a significant other, then just play it cool. Try saying something, “Awesome! Have a great time!”

Tips

  • Always make conversation before asking if someone is single. You want to make the person feel comfortable before asking personal questions.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ 1.0 1.1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/is-the-best-way-flirt-someone-new
  2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-couch/201504/5-ways-make-small-talk-worth-the-trouble
  3. ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/relationships/advice/a21205/how-to-find-out-if-that-hot-guy-is-single/
  4. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201305/21-first-date-questions
  5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
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