Find Someone to Date at the Bookstore

Meeting new people can be hard but it's no surprise in our consumer culture that people are finding love in the aisles of stores everywhere, from Walmart to their local supermarket.[1] So, for the more intellectually inclined book lovers among you, finding a date in a bookstore may just prove to be the ideal way to connect with someone of like-minded intellect who enjoys thinking and who has a love of reading. And even if they're just lurking there because the coffee's good, there are plenty of chances to strike up a conversation with someone you like the look of. Be creative and set your sites on finding a date in a bookstore!

Steps

  1. Choose a bookstore. You might like to start with a bookstore of a decent size so that you don't have the bookseller and everyone else listening to your dating overtures when you clap eyes on someone. Then again, some of the smaller more specialist bookstores might have the very person for you if they stock those comics, sci-fi or poetry books that you're really into – it's a good sign the person of your dreams will also like those very things too. Perhaps try a mixture of different bookstores rather than tying yourself down to one; it's really about being more alert for date possibilities when you're in the bookstore, so the size of the store might not make much difference as long as the place actually has patrons!

    • A bookstore with a cafe can have an edge over one without because you can always suggest the two of you have a coffee. However, a bookstore with a cafe close by will also work.
    • Find a bookstore that is open longer hours or during the weekends. You'll probably be better off looking for potential dates when people are in down mode than rushing about at lunchtime or at peak home time. Then again, more people means more possibilities!
  2. Choose your most likely scouting options. There are several ways to approach this and you might like to try them all in turn to see what works for you. Most of all, you'll need both patience and tenacity because picking up someone in a bookstore isn't necessarily going to be easy!
    • Hang around the area of books that you enjoy reading. If you spot someone you fancy enjoying books you fancy, there might be a match made in heaven.
    • Lurk near the magazine section. People are easily attracted to the magazine section, especially if there is seating nearby. This area can be rife with excuses for opening a conversation such as "Could you please pass me that magazine you're in front of?" to "I can't find the last copy of "X" - oh look! You've got it! Would you mind awfully if I looked at page 20?"
    • Check out the cafe. Cafes in bookstores are a boon because people usually settle in for at least one drink and a leisurely read of a book or even a pile of books that they've collected in the store. You have a lot of opportunities to sidle up and ask if the seat is free, then start discussing the merits of the book or books on the table.
    • Sit in seating areas of the store. People are at their most relaxed when seated and reading and this can be an excellent opportunity to ask them about their reading matter and casually engage them in conversation.
    • Staff counters or staff putting away books on Build Cheap Closet Shelves. Don't discount the possibility of your new love being one of the staff! Just be sure that when you're trying to charm them that you don't take up too much of their time – you don't want to get them in trouble and you can always suggest the two of you meet up when it's knock-off work time.
  3. Be astute about the person you have your eye on. You can't be sure of their relationship status just by looking unless there is an evident Buy a Wedding Ring. If you see a ring, clearly you'll need to back off. If you see a girlfriend or boyfriend hovering nearby, you've been warned! Otherwise, there is no harm probing for relationship status as you continue your chat with this person.
  4. Find ways to break the ice and start a chat. You're in a bookstore, so the list of potential chat topics is as wide as the book subject matter in the store. However, initially you need to get that person's attention. Here are some suggestions:
    • Casually stand near the person and look over at them every now and then. Gauge whether or not they've noticed you and if they seem to be looking back.
    • Find ways of interrupting them, such as pretending that you're looking for a book and asking them if they've seen it on the shelf. Or, drop a book near their feet and apologize profusely as they bend to pick it up for you. Or, spot a book in front of them and ask if they mind passing it to you.
    • Comment on what they're looking at, especially if you're aware of what it's about. With any luck, you may have read it yourself or know enough about it or the author/genre to start a good conversation about it.
    • Seek to appear friendly and knowledgeable about the book, genre, author or even the store, without coming across as annoying. Offer some good advice about their read and perhaps additional advice about books you'd recommend.
  5. If things appear to be going well at this stage, casually suggest a coffee (or another coffee if you're already at the cafe). Make it seem that you're extra keen to pursue the conversation on the topics you've raised and that your targeted person seems genuinely interested in. If you're lucky, the other person will agree to further discussion over coffee and you can start getting to know one another more.
    • Don't forget to ask for their contact details at the end of your coffee. Suggest that it'd be great to meet up again to compare notes on what the other person thought about the book, etc.
    • Even if you don't manage to have a coffee together, you can still suggest that the two of you get in touch again later, perhaps through email, Facebook, etc., to discuss the reading and to keep in touch.
  6. Be alert to the cues. As with any potential date, you need to be Use Your Conscious Mind of the other person's level of responsiveness. If it's clear that you're crowding them out and bothering them, leave things where they stand and don't pressure the other person any further. On the other hand, if you're certain that there's a spark of interest and a willingness to continue the tango of getting to know one another, go with the flow!
    • Even if they don't want to catch up with you again, thank them for the discussion and wish them well. Not everyone is thrilled at the thought of being checked out when they're pursuing quiet intellectual time in their own head space and you need to take into account that they may just want to be left alone.
  7. Give it a few more tries. If at first you don't succeed, try with different people who appear interesting to you and try in different bookstores. While a bookstore isn't a place high on the list of "where to find dates", the fact that the people in them clearly like reading and have similar interests to your own does make this a worthwhile way to try to find a date. If you're persistent enough, even if you don't find a love interest, it's always possible that you just might make a new friend.
  8. Finished.

Tips

  • Be aware that some people won't appreciate being bothered in a context such as a bookstore. If you notice that you're bothering them, back off and look for someone else to strike up a conversation with.
  • Another way to open a conversation in a bookstore is to ask someone to help you carry your heavy pile of books to the seating area or the counter. You can strike up a conversation in response to the comments about your heavy pile!
  • Be respectful of sexual orientation

Warnings

  • Don't make jokes or talk about adult things people might think there's something wrong with you and that you are crazy don't let them think that and just keep it all to yourself.
  • Don't talk about things you don't want to talk about and be respectful to the people around you they are busy readers and they like to read without taking their eyes off their book if this disturbs them to the point where they wanna move away from you then that's what they'll do remember be quiet and don't be too loud.
  • Don't make a conversation with other people who are reading they don't want to hear it and will not wanna listen to you.
  • Make sure you see the sign that says no yelling or talking loudly at the bookstore doing this bothers so many people and later on you might be reported you have been warned.
  • Do not admit your mistake to anybody because they don't want to hear it or you will be in trouble.
  • Don't go around and bother people at a bookstore they want you to be quiet at all risks possible to take.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ For example, Teen Mom is one example showing that participants would find new dates by visiting Walmart, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teen_Mom

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