Attract Guys

Every girl dreams of finding her perfect boy. Unfortunately, it can be hard getting the right guy to spend time with you. Maybe you both stare at each other all day, interested, but too shy to start a conversation. Maybe he doesn't even know you exist. In either case, there are steps you can take to grab the boy of your dreams.

Steps

Dressing for the Right Kind of Attention

  1. Decide what kind of vibe you want to put out. There’s no one way for all girls to dress to attract any and all guys, so you have to think about the kind of girl you want to be and the kind of guy you want to attract. For example, if you’re a bookworm looking to attract bookworms, don’t dress wear platform heels, short skirts, and heavy makeup just because that’s what you see working in the movies!
    • You should never dress to what you think a guy might like. Dress to the image of yourself that you want to project. This will attract the kind of guy who’ll like you for you.
  2. Consider the social context before getting dressed. While you want to turn a guy’s head, you don’t want to do it for the wrong reason. For example, you might look out of place dressed to the nines at school, even if your outfit is great. Don’t wear regular “hang-out” clothes to someone’s fancy party.
  3. Wear clothes that are flattering to your figure. No two girls have the same body, so you shouldn’t choose your clothes based on someone else’s body. Do a little research into how to style your body shape, whether you have a pear-shaped figure, an hourglass figure, or a curvier figure.
    • If you have skinny legs and a small waist, wear skinny jeans or pants.
    • If your waist is curvier, wear straight-leg jeans or pants that draw more attention to your hour-glass shape.
    • If you have a very slight frame, loose-fitting styles might look too baggy on you.
    • Girls with a curvy waistline should try out A-line dresses, which tend to flatter those curves.
  4. Wear the right kind of makeup. Even if you don’t want the “heavy makeup” look, a little bit of foundation and lip color can bring out the most beautiful details on your face.
    • Make sure the foundation you use matches your skin tone.[1] If it’s too light, you’ll look like a vampire, and if it’s too dark, you’ll look like you covered yourself in fake tanner!
    • Use concealer that’s one to two shades lighter than your skin tone under your eyes to lighten up dark pockets and make your face look fresh.
    • Use concealer that exactly the same color as your skin tone to cover up pimples and any acne scars you may have.
    • Use lip glosses to add a little shine to your lips.
    • Use lip stains for long-lasting color that won’t rub off as easily over the course of the day.
    • Check your makeup in the mirror a couple times throughout the day, touching it up as necessary.
  5. Style your hair in a way that makes you feel beautiful. When you feel beautiful, you’re more confident, and confidence attracts guys.[2] Play around with your hair in the privacy of your own home, trying out different styles until you figure out how you feel most confident. Take into consideration how long it takes to style your hair that way, because you don’t want to get up an hour early every morning just to fix your hair.

Attracting a Boy You Don’t Know Very Well

  1. Keep an open, approachable demeanor by smiling. The first thing a guy will try to work out about you is whether or not you’re in the mood to talk. If you want a boy to talk to you, you need to look like you’re open to conversation!
    • Many boys find it extremely attractive when a girl smiles at them. Remember not to smile too widely or you'll just look silly! A small, flirty smirk is perfect, and showing your teeth demonstrates confidence.
  2. Make deliberate eye contact with the boy you like. This is another way of showing that you’re confident in yourself. You’re not afraid of being caught looking at him, and you’re not afraid of your feelings.
    • While it’s good to make eye contact, make sure you’re not staring at him adoringly from a distance. You want to look interested and open, but not obsessed!
  3. Have a good time with your friends when he’s around. If you’re always alone when the guy you like sees you, he might think you don’t have any friends because you’re not fun to be around. If he sees you laughing and making others laugh, he’ll be able to tell that you’re a fun girl that he should probably try to get to know.
    • A lot of girls do a “fake laugh” when trying to get boys’ attention, but don’t do that! It’s very obvious that the laughter is forced, and it sometimes sounds silly and obvious.
    • It’s better to pay attention to what your friends are saying and actually respond to conversation cues. This way, your laughter will sound genuine and beautiful, and you’ll still be having fun by laughing and bonding with your friends!

Talking to a Boy You Like

  1. Make the first move and break the ice yourself if he doesn’t come up to talk to you. As nervous as you are about talking to him, he might be just as nervous about talking to you! While in the past, it might have been considered forward for girls to initiate conversations or relationships, we’re well past those days. Be the brave one!
    • A good ice-breaker is to ask him for a favor.[3] For example, if you’re in a class together, ask him if you can borrow his notes for a night. That can start a conversation about the material you’re learning in class, or about the teacher, etc. You’ll also get to follow up your conversation when you return the notes to him the next time you see him.
    • Make a friendly observation or statement like “the homework was really hard last night” or “I can’t wait for the weekend.” Give him something to hang onto so he can enter into a conversation with you.
  2. Be yourself! Don’t worry about his first impressions of you, because studies show that first impressions don’t really matter that much in the dating game.[4] It’s far more important that he gets to know the real you. If you put on an act to get a boy to like you, he might want to date you, but then you’ll have to pretend to be that imaginary girl the entire time you’re together. You want him to know exactly who you are and what you’re like from the first time you talk.
    • If he says something you disagree with, don’t be afraid to get into a good-natured debate with him. This doesn’t mean to pick a fight — just don’t be afraid to voice your own opinions in the course of regular conversation.
    • If he says something funny, laugh! But don’t laugh at every single thing he says — you’ll sound forced and fake.
  3. Pay attention to body language — both his and your own. Body language can be termed as “positive” or “negative,” and if either of you are giving off negative vibes with your body, this might not work out.[5] Read his body language to see how he’s responding to the conversation. Adjust your body language to let him know that you’re enjoying yourself.
    • Positive body language is marked by leaning or moving closer, having a relaxed posture with legs uncrossed, maintaining extended eye contact, and pointing one’s feet directly toward the person you’re interacting with.
    • Negative body language is marked by leaning or moving away, maintaining tense posture with legs and/or arms crossed stiffly, pointing feet away, and avoiding eye contact.
    • Note that some of those negative markers might be attributed to shyness. Just because a guy can’t keep eye contact with you doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to.
  4. Show an interest in what he’s talking about. Nobody likes it when they’re trying to talk about something they care about, but their listener zones out on them. Listen to what he’s saying — both to make him feel like you care, and to learn more about him. After all, you have to decide whether or not he’s the right guy for you, too!
    • Though it’s important to listen, don’t fake being overly interested in something you don’t care about just because he’s talking about it. If you make him think that you care deeply about that subject, he’ll bore you to death with it.
  5. Bring up the subjects of conversation that are important to you. Just as you’re learning about him by listening to him talk about his interests, you want him to learn about you, so talk about your interests. Know that there are some subjects that are more appropriate for closer friends or for girl-friends — for example, don’t talk about your deepest, darkest secrets or your favorite makeup techniques with a boy you’re just trying to get to know.
    • Show off the traits you want him to know about you by directing conversation that way. If you’re a great athlete, talk about how practice is going this week. If you’re an actress, talk about rehearsals. If you love to read, talk about the book you’re reading right now.
    • But don’t monopolize the conversation by talking about yourself and your interests the whole time. This should be a give and take — both of you should do equal amounts of talking and listening.

Tips

  • Just be yourself—someone out there will like you just the way you are.
  • Follow your heart, not your head. You need to ask yourself if he's the right one for you.

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Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/advice/g2414/best-foundation-for-your-skin-tone/
  2. ↑ http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/science/2168-science-explains-why-confidence-scores-you-dates/
  3. ↑ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201112/break-the-ice-how-talk-girls-and-guys-0
  4. ↑ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201106/why-your-dates-initial-opinion-really-doesnt-matter
  5. ↑ http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201110/reading-basic-body-language-dating-and-persuasion-success
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