Be Less Annoying Towards Friends
You will be far more attractive of a person and a more enjoyable friend to be around. Practicing these guidelines is one effective way to improve your social skills.
Contents
Steps
- Respect boundaries. Everybody has boundaries you need to learn what they are and try to avoid crossing them. Boundaries vary widely from culture to culture and even from individual to individual.
- Don't talk about people behind their backs; especially if you have not stated your issue with the person in the first place. This is especially true of those who are related to you, or are your friends or significant other.
- Do not go around poking people constantly. In fact, don't touch them at all if they don't like it. Of course if they are a good friend of yours and they don't mind, then by all means have fun. Otherwise, keep your hands to yourself.
- Do not impose, or appear uninvited. Try to control your emotions and not be too pushy. Give people the space they need. Don't call every single day.
- Do not go through people's stuff. Even if their things are not private, they may still feel violated if you touch things that are in their personal space. If you wish to borrow something, ask for permission first and allow the person to give the item to you.
- Mind your own business. Avoid butting into a conversation by (for example) saying, "What are you talking about?" If you hear someone talking about something with another person, and you only catch the last sentence, leave it alone.
- Be humble. Just because you're confident doesn't mean you have to act like you're better than anyone else. Don't do or say things that might let you appear to be arrogant, like bragging about your wealth or success. There are some people who need to prove that they, and only they, had the ultimate experience. This is known as “One-upping” your friends. This is so universally hated that people actually will laugh at you if they see you doing this consistently. Bragging does not make your friends think you are any greater, it makes you look pathetic, it makes friends sick of you and it is human nature to avoid braggarts.
- Don’t be someone who always seeks attention, and needs to be the center of attention all the time.
- Don't frequently correct bad grammar/spelling, speech blunders, or inaccuracies of others because most people don't like being corrected.
- Don't complain all the time. Remember the world does not revolve around you. If you complain too much, others will find you depressing and avoid you. This also goes for constantly insulting yourself, which is not humble - it's another form of self-absorption. It's normal to feel bad once in a while, and to express your discontent. But, you also need to know when to get over it and move on. Read up on how to be optimistic.
- Be aware if you are standing in doorways while having a conversation, standing in the middle of an area where people are trying to walk (in stores, malls, or the airport), or if your children are being obnoxious in a public place. Also, do not loudly sing or play music which others are likely to find irritating. Consider how your actions are likely to affect the people around you, and you will gain their respect.
- Be polite and hygienic. Don't peek down people's shirts for instance, don't pass gas, and don’t talk about biological functions in public. Cover your nose and mouth with your elbow when you sneeze or cough. Take care to brush and/or floss after meals so as not to inflict your breath on others. Take a shower everyday and put on clean clothes every day.
- Don't overcrowd. When someone's having a bad day, don't try to hang around them to make them feel better (unless of course they ask). If you were having a bad day, you wouldn't want someone bugging you with failing attempts at pick-me-ups. Ask if they would like your reassurance, but remember that "no" means "no". Only talk about what is bugging them if they bring it up.
- Avoid unnecessary repetition. Constantly repeating the same action over and over again (such as making inappropriate sounds or pulling someone's hair, tapping your pencil on the table, chewing ice with your mouth open, tapping your foot against something, clearing your throat excessively, etc.), isn't the right way of 'getting attention'. If a person says 'stop', that means 'stop'. If you continue without stopping, you might lose a friend.
- Don't copy people. If you are older than 3 years old copying is not funny. When I say “copy” I mean this kind of copy: “Why are you copying me?” “Why are you copying me?”
- Don’t send or forward those “Copy and paste” statuses or “forward to ten people” e-mails, or text messages. These are pointless, and will always annoy and irritate your friends.
- Don't argue needlessly. Most people dislike arguing. Simply state that you disagree and refrain from setting yourself up as an expert on the subject. A "know-it-all" stance gets on peoples' nerves. Of course, you can have intelligent debates/discussions with a person/people provided the circumstances are appropriate and the other person is willing to engage. Never force someone into a debate. If someone tells you that they would rather not discuss a topic, drop it.
- Conversations are really two-way streets, and communications flow both ways, with two or more people sending and receiving messages. It’s interesting as long as everybody contributes freely and openly to subjects/topics of mutual interest. The moment any one person wants to control/hijack the flow, the others are put off. If you're talking constantly, others will get frustrated and quit trying to communicate with you. As a general rule, always listen more than you speak. Think about what you say before you say it. Avoid interrupting someone in the middle of a thought, even if it just jogged your memory of something to say. Remember the famous quotation, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt". Listen actively. Understand others’ viewpoints. It would give you new ideas to think about, and certainly make you a better conversationalist.
- Don’t mumble. Speaking too quietly can annoy your friends, they will need to keep asking you “What did you say?” if you speak to quickly and don’t enunciate your words, they will just make it a habit of nodding and smiling when they talk to you, because they are tired of saying “Sorry I didn’t hear you, say that again.”
- Making an inside joke or reference with a friend while a second friend is present can make the second friend feel left out, if you do this then you should tell the other friend what you are talking about or try to explain what you mean. Most times this isn’t something that gets on peoples nerves, but if it happens multiple times in a single conversation, it’ll irritate the second friend to the point of him wanting never to talk to you.
- If you’re doing something no one else around you is doing and you know they don't think what you’re doing is a good thing then you need to stop.
- Don’t ask many basic questions about sports, watch and learn slowly and ask a few questions per game.
- Don’t act hyper or overly enthusiastic about many things. This is extremely important. However, if you scoff at everything and act too cool for anything or anybody, you will be known as someone who doesn’t know how to have fun, and you will be remembered as a dull person. There is a natural balance between the two extremes.
- If someone wrongs you, forgive them, don’t hold it against them and continue to bring it up just to make them feel bad or get them back. Be understanding.
- Don’t pretend you are perfect. Apologize when you upset someone. You messed up, just accept it and be humble enough to apologize. This helps people trust you more.
- Don’t patronize your friends; don’t ever act condescending or disrespectful to people.
- Don’t act like the friend’s parent when driving, warning them about obstacles and dangers. If they have their license they know how to drive, if not, why are you in the car with them driving?
- Don’t continually remind someone of something he or she is not able to do. If you offer someone a food that contains peanuts and they refuse there is no need to say “Oh yeah, that’s right, you are allergic to peanuts.” Or if someone is afraid of heights and you keep asking” Why can’t you just go on the roller coaster?” they will become seriously annoyed.
- Don’t stop someone who is telling a story excitedly to point out something they did wrong. Input is fine and natural, but interrupting specifically for the sake of correcting someone for something they did wrong is by far the lamest way to listen to a story.
- Between friends there is harmless teasing and such, this is very common and acceptable. However, this is taken too far by some people. Relentless insulting and name calling isn’t a way to bond with a person.
- A person with absolutely no moral boundaries will repel those around them. It is very unattractive and annoying to hang out with someone who ignores principles and ethical standards. Be conscientious of the beliefs others have.
- The two worst ways to get on someone’s nerves are to: (a) Act insensitive and therefore hurt their feelings. (b) Act overly sensitive and constantly annoy your friends by making a huge deal out of something that didn’t really matter and getting hurt by things that are very minuscule. The solutions to both of these problems are: (a) Stop acting like a jerk. (b) Stop reading into things so much, the world doesn’t revolve around you.
- Be mindful of how the things you say are perceived by others. Even if your words are thoughtful and important, your tone of voice may indicate frustration, crankiness, or a condescending attitude, or flippancy or arrogance or any number of things which give folks the wrong impression and causes them to hate your guts. Learn to read facial reactions and body movements. Pay attention to the facial expressions and body language of those around you and work to immediately identify and stop whatever you're doing that is annoying others.
Tips
- Try not to pay attention to your friends a lot-if you don't then they will get more curious and stick with you.
- Don't point out your friend's flaws, like bad eyesight, hearing, or memory.
- Don't copy the things your friend does. This is beyond annoying.
Warnings
- We should mind our manners and be considerate if we want friends
- We are all annoying at times
- Some people are just annoyed far too easily.
- The greatest form of annoyance is repetition.
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