Be Snobby

A snob is an individual who has an exaggerated perception of practically anything you can imagine. They seek to experience all of life’s finer things and have a sense of superiority over those who do not share their elitist tastes and views. You can become such an individual by taking on some or all of the following characteristics.

Steps

Exuding Snobbery

  1. Carry yourself well. Always watch your posture. This means walking with your head up, shoulders back and direct eye contact. Gliding into a room with this attitude will immediately send an air of superiority.
    • For ladies, wearing heels helps create the image. By towering over others, you will seem better than them as they will be forced to look up to you.
  2. Be the expert. All great snobs know everything, of course. Even without formal training or education in a given subject, you can offer up a poignant thought on anything from wine to classical music. Avoid considering anyone else’s thoughts, ideas and feelings on a topic. [1]
    • Use terms like avant-garde and noir to make yourself sound more intelligent.
    • Question why others didn’t ask your advice when making a particular decision. [2]
  3. Talk like a snob. You have a personal rating scale that you use for everything: people, vacation spots, happy hour locations, etc. and it’s foolproof. Be sure to let everyone know where each thing falls on your snob-o-meter. How else will they know that you’re right and they’re wrong? [3]
    • When sharing your thoughts, be sure to include words like “should” and “always.”
    • Dazzle those around you with as many off-the-cuff responses as possible. Keeping them on their toes will ensure your snob status.
  4. Avoid certain duties. Proclaim with all the confidence you can muster that you simply don’t do certain things. Everyone should understand that you are above manual labor like scrubbing the dishes and yanking weeds from the garden. Even at work, you huff and puff when someone suggests that you make a breakfast run or fix the copy machine…even if it is in your job description.
    • You can do this by just refusing. Sooner or later, they will stop asking.

Eating Snobbishly

  1. Skip uncool establishments. Using every trick in the book, coerce those around you to only visit the spots you deem worthy of your presence. There are a lot of exceptional places to choose from but if you didn’t think of it, it’s not good enough.
    • Consider using tactics like pouting to manipulate those around you into caving in.
    • Throw out words like "Tacky" and "Gross" to convey your utter disdain.
  2. Order with flair. Whether a 5-star restaurant or a local coffee shop, you must have everything just so. You can’t imagine simply ordering straight from the menu without any substitutions or chef recommendations. Don’t hold back when ordering either. Ask the waiter where the ingredients were flown in from and when. You expect the most natural, organic and freshest at all times. [4] Find out how the fish or steak will be prepared and insist it be to perfection.
    • If you don’t like something, send it back immediately.
    • Tell the staff you won’t pay for the meal if you are really feeling feisty. You shouldn’t have to fork over cash for something that was sub-par.
  3. Buy high-end groceries. Like all things in your life, your supermarket is just another extension of your awesomeness. Snobs don’t shop at places like Walmart. They prefer the niche supermarkets where employees are dressed to impressed and the floors sparkle. Only frequent a store where your ever whim can be catered to. This means, if they don’t have your favorite item, they’ll order it and deliver it to your front door. Anything less is unacceptable. [5]

Looking Like a Snob

  1. Purchase only the finest. There isn’t a snob alive that would be caught shopping locally, in their home town, no matter how high fashion it may be. Instead, take shopping trips. [6]
    • Pour over fashion magazines, websites and blogs for ideas. Pack your bags and jet. Don’t forget to bring along an empty suitcase for all the great finds.
    • Download a currency conversion app for your trip too. This will help you ensure you stay on budget…if you even have one.
  2. Buy a trendy item first. You MUST have the latest and greatest before anyone else. If you are a tech snob, make sure you pre-order the newest iPad to hit the market. More of a sneaker person? Have your friend who works at the retail store to set a pair (or two) aside before it even hits the shelves.
    • Be sure to boast to those around you about how sweet the new item is and that you can’t believe they don’t have one and have to wait in line.
  3. Dress like success. Snobs always look like money from the top to the bottom. Make sure you wear pricey sunglasses, perfume/cologne, shoes, etc. You can still come across as a snob even without the funds. It’s all about how people perceive you. [7]
    • You can accomplish this by leaving tags on a few items in your closet. It will give the illusion that you have cash to blow.
    • Take tips from those you admire like athletes and musicians and copy their style.
    • Watch to make sure you don’t see your favorite accessory all over town. If you do, toss it!

Conversing with Others Like a Snob

  1. Be rude to others. Don’t waste any time trying to get to know new people. You can tell right away that they are beneath you and far less cultured. Showing them respect is unnecessary. You can really show off how snobby you are by pointing out their lower-class behavior.
    • Say things like, “I can’t believe you hold your wine glass by the bowl, instead of the stem. Where do you come from?”
  2. Dismiss wait staff and other “help.” These peasants are the lowest of the low in your opinion. You often find the perfect way to put them in their place and display your impressive knowledge of their field, all at the same time.
    • When ordering, roll your eyes, scoff or barely make eye contact. Launch into a rant about how you wouldn’t dare drink a non-craft beer. This will help them understand who they are dealing with.
  3. Schmooze with the elite. Hanging with this crowd is where you feel most comfortable and at home, but they still have a lot to learn from you. While rubbing elbows with these folks, interrupt as often as possible to show off.
    • Drop lots of names you know will impressive them during the conversation.
    • One up them with each story they tell. For example, “Oh, you spent summer in upstate New York?” “That’s so over. I prefer northern Italy.”
    • Prove you understand the societal hierarchy. [8] You can illustrate this by pointing out someone’s cheap shoes or banged up car. “Can you imagine leaving the house with that?” will be a staple statement in your verbal arsenal.

Tips

  • Ignore people and act like you're better.
  • Snobs are obsequious to those above them.

Warnings

  • Nobody really likes a snob.
  • People may not like you and avoid you at all costs.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/09/the-science-of-snobbery-how-were-duped-into-thinking-fancy-things-are-better/279571/
  2. ↑ http://www.robertchen.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-snob/
  3. ↑ http://www.robertchen.com/how-to-avoid-being-a-snob/
  4. ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/11/some-people-are-such-food-snobs/
  5. ↑ http://www.thealternativedaily.com/are-you-a-supermarket-snob/
  6. ↑ http://www.harpersbazaar.com/fashion/trends/a4095/how-to-shop-in-foreign-cities-tina-craig/
  7. ↑ https://drhurd.com/2012/07/23/what-makes-a-snob/
  8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200906/field-guide-the-snob-some-it-haute

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