Be a Good Mother in Law

Your son or daughter is getting married, and you want to have a good relationship with your new daughter-in-law or son-in-law.

Steps

Realize that your son or daughter is an adult and will eventually marry and settle down someday. Don't expect a son-in-law or daughter-in-law to be a substitute for you and your husband.
If he or she chooses someone questionable, ask them why, but don't attack them. Ask them about their home situation, and if they're "dangerous," call Emergency Services immediately.
If the person in question doesn't meet your standards, remember that it's not your life, it's your child's life.
If he or she chooses a partner instead of a spouse, ask why, but don't yell at them for choosing not to get married.
If money is an issue, understand that many people have to start at rock bottom and may have to wait until they have enough money to settle down.

Respect their privacy.
Don't clean their home for them without asking first.
Don't tell your daughter or daughter-in-law to wear your wedding dress, because it's their wedding, not yours.
Don't scold your son and daughter-in-law or your daughter and son-in-law for not being a clean, immaculate perfectionist like yourself.
When your daughter or son gets married, you're no longer the center of their attention. Their spouse and family come first.
Wedding plans are up to your children and their future spouses, not you.
Don't tell your son and daughter-in-law or your daughter and son-in-law how to raise your grandchildren unless they ask you for your help.
Don't spoil your grandchildren without asking first.
Don't tell your son or son-in-law not to wear white - especially if it's a white wedding.
Respect boundaries.

Times have changed, and some mothers-in-law still expect old-fashioned respect from their sons-in-law and daughters-in-law whether they get along or not.