Be a Noob in Club Penguin
According to Webster.com, a noob is "A person new to something, usually involving computer gaming, who claims to be better then they are and are usually obnoxious about it when people try to help them or point out their lack of skill." While it may seem insulting, many users of Club Penguin are noobs, probably because they derive their pleasure by being obnoxious. If you like being obnoxious, and want to show that off to the world, being a noob is perfect for you.
Steps
- Use a new account. "Noob" is not short for "newbie". That's a Newb. Therefore, you may be old. When your penguin gets a couple hundred days old, you may create a new penguin to be a noob on. Keep in mind that there is no cutoff date when a person stops being a noob.
- Do popular names. Use names like Waddles, Flippers, Pengy, Princess, Pinky, Pokémon, Coolboy, kool dude Awesome dude, etc. If you get a name without a number, keep restarting the Sign-up until it says, "Penguin name is already taken. Try Your Chosen Name and Number
- Crowd around "famous penguins." Sometimes penguins will go around Club Penguin yelling about "famous penguins" who make Youtube videos or have a website, like Pinkcookies5. These penguins usually get a sad number of 50-100 views on their videos/website, which is not very popular. However, noobish penguins will go crazy over them nonetheless. For example, Flopsypig8 does not have very many views (100-500) but people go crazy over her every time she logs on Club Penguin for some reason. Look for people shouting things like, "Flops is at the dock!" or whatever famous penguin and place the mob pit is taking place. Go up to the famous penguin and say things like, "Hi! Your so cool add me! Hello! Hi!" and surround and annoy them like everyone else. This will make you very noob-like!
- Date. Noobs love dating. All there is to it is to say, "guys (or girls) say I" in a crowded place (or advertise tryouts in your igloo if you are a member), and make the heart emote to a random penguin that you find who you think looks cool and popular. Sometimes they act like they don't know it is the same gender.
- Practice non-member discrimination. Noobs believe members are better than non-members, even if they are non-members themselves. They will only add members to their buddy lists. Instead of saying, "Any Guys (or girls)", they will say "Any Member Guys (or girls)" when dating.
- Obsess about "rarity". Being "rare" is having an item that was not readily available to all penguins. Examples are the Beta Hat (from Beta Testing Party October 2005) and the red mining helmet (from CPIP server testing March 2008). Rare items do not include member items from a catalog, they are free party items from a long time ago (excluding CPIP, which was the testing of the new servers in March 2008). When you see a "rare" penguin, crowd it (don't worry, you won't be alone) and flood it with buddy requests. Tell other penguins you are "rare", even though you are not.
- Tell others you are someone else. The most popular are that you are a mod, Zac Efron, or Miley Cyrus. The chances of Miley and Zac being on and advertising themselves being on is close to nothing, but people believe you nonetheless. Good people to impersonate are Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana, one of the Jonas Brothers, Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, Vanessa Hudgens, and other celebrities that preteen and/or teen people really like.
- Tip the iceberg. There is a rumor that if enough people stand on one side of the iceberg and drill or dance, it will tip and give them millions of coins and a golden puffle. The iceberg has never been tipped, nor have the Club Penguin staff told us that the iceberg cannot be tipped. To "tip" the iceberg, dance or take off all your penguin's clothes except the mining hat and dance (this is to drill). Make others come and bunch up around you. Go and advertise "Come and tip the iceberg!" at the town and weird places like a complete stranger's igloo.
- Ask idiotic noobish questions. These can really bother people. Ask questions like "how do you get clothes?" or "what's a puffle?". Maybe whenever someone wears an item from an older catalog, say "where did you get that?". When a place is crowded, always ask "who's here?" or "what is going on?" When someone says "lol" say "What does lol mean?" Just be a complete idiot.
- Be lighthearted and gullible Pretend you are a new guy. Go to penguins and say "hi!" you will sound like you got on for the first time and you want attention. Be gullible too. Whenever someone says "follow me for a (something club penguin doesn't do often/doesn't do at all, or a rumor) follow them. Also, if you enjoy going in the pet shop, there are usually penguins saying "steps out of solid gold limo" or "is richest in club penguin." This is very unlikely that this is possible, but noobs usually believe that kind of rubbish, so pretend you're amazed and ask to be their buddy. Also, sit in the dojo and pretend you are waiting to become a ninja. If people ask what you are doing, just say "I'm becoming a ninja the faster way".
- Pretend to be "Rich". Noobish penguins love to act rich! Dress up in a sparkly dress and pretend to walk out of a "solid gold limo" in the pet shop! Noobish babies will adore you and they will crowd you and beg you to adopt them! Other noobs will think you are really cool and popular too. You can pretend to be rich and not even have a very good igloo or a lot of coins. This is the case with many "rich" penguins.
- Say random things. You could walk up to someone and say "Eats sweater" or something. People will definitely think you are a noob.
- Take or make dares. Walk up to a random penguin and shout "Dare me to do something". If they do, do the dare. Make dares also.
- Use emotes. Use these as if you are trying to express how your penguin is feeling. For instance, say your bf/gf on Club Penguin just broke up with you. You could run around using the sad and mad emote!
- Copy and clone. Say someone pretends to look under a table. Copy them! Also, clone other penguins as best as you can. Sit next to them and do exactly what they do. Do this at your own risk, though.
- When you are playing a game, and you are about to lose, like maybe in Card-Jitsu or another 2 player game, just quit the game. It will look like you are angry, and you can use an emote. Best thing is walk up to that opponent of the game and do a mad emote.
- Be the "best" at something. Most noobs like being better than everybody else, so if you go to a kingdom, cp idol, or anything based on a movie/book/show, insist on being the best: "Is Princess of Princesses" "Is Best Singer" "Is Katara from Avatar"
- Try to "fit in". Noobs love to be part of the cool group! Have you seen some guys and gals in wigs and hoodies saying "lol", "rofl", "that's so bay (gay)!", etc.? Those are the "cool" people. Go up to them and try (don't really fit in, try!) to "fit in" with them. This means DON'T make the jokes. DON'T say lol (noobs don't even know what lol means, remember?). DON'T be cool, try to act like you are cool. But, the thing you should really do around the "cool" people, is show off. This means coins, items, friends, even fame! Just make sure it's a lie.
- Stretch the truth. Mention a rare item and make up a story like, "Yeah, I had (insert item name here) on my old penguin before it got banned forever." For the most part, the result should be a few 'yeah right' and 'whatever's from other people in the room. However, it is possible that someone may actually believe you. You should greet this person warmly, because they are a fellow noob. Now, the other people should think you're a noob by now, but just to top it off, also say that you have a beta penguin, and when they ask for you to log onto it as proof, say that you "don't want to get crowded" and that you "hate crowds." Lastly, go around telling everyone that has an older penguin than you that their penguin is not rare. Preferably in all caps to express your noobism (noobosity?) in a more effective way. Your end result should be every penguin in the room thinking you're a noob. Even your fellow nooblets. But seriously... All you really need to know to be a noob is how to type in all caps and how to come up with a stupid statement that would likely get a lot of opposition. A few intentional mistakes in spelling every here and there also wouldn't do you any harm. Good luck!
- Press J. When you press J, you tell a joke. When you press and hold J, you spit out out a bunch of jokes at one time.
Tips
- Act like a complete idiot, like you don't know anything.
- Make a new, useless account so in case you get banned, it won't mean anything to you.
- If someone says they're a noob, and others reply, "Urghh, noobs are weird and annoying", stand up and say "YEAH WELL I'M A NOOB TOO AND NOOBS ARE COOL! I BET NO-ONE ELSE IN THIS ROOM IS RARE LIKE I AM!" This may really show your noobiness.
- Get adopted.
- Get up in people's grill.
- Use caps and spell really badly. Like 'frend' instead of friend.
- Run around saying ridiculous things like "How do you chat?" or, "How do you walk?" This will annoy people a lot!
Warnings
- Don't use a good account. If you end up banned, you'll have to start all over again.
- Being a member on your noob account can get you more noobish items and noobish girlfriends, but think, is it really worth it?
- Copy and clone at your own risk. It may cause no one to be your friend because you're annoying.
- Don't annoy people too much or they could report you and you can get banned.
- If you can copy really well, you may be reported for hacking as most trainers have a copy bot system.
- Noobs are usually pretty old and refuse to learn anything, so you may get reported.
Things You'll Need
- A Club Penguin Account
- Coins
- A computer/laptop
- Noobiness
