Be an Effective Leader Using Narrative Psychology

Narrative psychology can help you define your role as a leader by helping you create an empowering personal narrative. A mindful approach to your own past can allow you to understand how your past experiences have influenced who you are today. You can then take those experiences and structure them into stories that guide you and those you lead. There is more to being a good leader than just telling stories; you can use those experiences to push you towards productive new practices and to help others find their own narratives. You can even learn from the narratives of others.

Steps

Cultivating Your Own Narrative

1. Write in a journal. Get in the habit of writing every day in a journal. Instead of recording your daily activities, write one story from your past per day. These do not need to have a narrative structure; you will organize them later. You should write for at least fifteen minutes without stopping. Write as many details as you can remember. If you cannot think of what to write about, you can choose one of the following prompts.
   • Write about a time you overcame a personal failure.
   • Write about a time you couldn’t overcome your own weaknesses
   • Write about a difficult time in your life.
   • What is your favorite childhood memory?
   • What was your first job?
   • Describe someone who helped you through a difficult period.
   • Describe your family growing up.
2. Look for larger themes throughout your personal story. Once you have written a few entries, start looking back through your life to see what the common themes, patterns, and events there are. Try to decide if there is an overriding feeling, difficulty, or identity that occurs over and over again. Sometimes it can be hard to identify these themes yourself, so you might consider asking a close friend or family member to help you do this, as long as you are comfortable sharing this information with them.
   • For example, if you felt as though you didn’t fit in high school and you struggled to find friends as an adult, you might decide that you always found it difficult to conform to the expectations of others.
   • If you’ve had many successes followed by immediate failure, you might write about how you learned never to take success for granted.
3. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. As you continue to write stories and reflect on their meaning in your life, you might start realizing what your strengths and weaknesses are. To discover your strengths and weaknesses, you should ask yourself:
   • What characteristics have led to my success in life?
   • What characteristics have led to any failures or disruptions in my life?
   • How have I improved upon my weaknesses over time?
   • What is my usual response to a difficult situation? Does it work? Does it not work?
4. Discern what stories define who you are today. As you write and reflect, you might find yourself returning to particular experiences over and over again. This might indicate that these stories are the most definitive experiences of your life. What this means is that, from a narrative perspective, these are the stories that have most significantly led to who you are today. This story might be about:
   • A personal triumph. For example, you might tell a story about how you managed to pay off all your debt within two years on minimum wage.
   • How you got your first job. You might talk about how you networked with a local business owner to talk your way into a job.
   • How you overcame a personal tragedy. For example, you might discuss how cancer has affected you and your family.
   • A childhood hobby or practice. You could explain how collecting baseball cards influenced your financial decisions as an adult.
   • Your relationship with a family member, mentor, or significant other. You might tell a story about how your father taught you a valuable lesson on respecting others.
5. Reframe your experiences as positive ones. How we view our stories allows us to craft our own reality. This does not mean that you invent events or details in your story. Rather, you consider how you took control over each step in the story and what meaning this story gives your personal narrative.
   • Instead of thinking about how things happened to you, consider how your actions caused opportunities to arise.
   • Take one of your weaknesses in your life, and think about all of the times that you weren't defined by this weakness. For example, if you believe that you are bad at communicating, think of all the times when you demonstrated effective communication skills.
   • Keep in mind that even your perceived mistakes can be reframed as positive experiences because you can use them as learning opportunities. For example, if you were fired from a job when you were just starting your career, then you might reflect on what you learned from that experience. Did it teach you something about the kind of work you do and do not like? Did it show you the importance of communicating with your superiors? Try to figure out what you can take away from things that did not turn out how you wanted them to.

Crafting a Narrative Arc

1. Choose a story from your journal. Once you have compiled many stories from your past, you can start writing a narrative. This narrative will have a structure like a book or movie, but it will involve real events from your life. Choose a story from your past, or have a trusted friend or family member help you to pick one.
   • This story may be made up of one story from your journal. For example, it might be the time when you saved up enough money from your afterschool job to buy your first computer.
   • It might also come from several stories that you wrote that all carry a common theme. For example, you might write about how you had to constantly overcome your own shyness to become more assertive.
2. Start by describing a stable time in your life. A good story usually begins with a description of a safe or successful time in your life. This sense of stability will make the eventual disruption seem even greater when it arises.
   • For example, perhaps you felt very secure after graduating college. You had a great job lined up.
3. Talk about an event that disrupted that sense of stability. This disruption will present the first conflict in your narrative. It may be a mistake that you made, a personal tragedy, or an unfortunate accident.
   • For example, you might write about how you lost your first job in an economic recession.
4. Describe obstacles that you faced. There are often many obstacles that may have made it difficult for you to achieve your goals. Describe each of the trials and tribulations you faced trying to overcome your problem.
   • For example, as a relatively inexperienced worker, you struggled with finding a new job. You had to take an unpaid internship, which made it difficult to support yourself and find paying work.
5. Explain how you overcame the event. The story should resolve with you overcoming your problems and achieving your goals. Describe the steps you took that helped you seize control of your life and come out on top. These should be framed as positive actions that empowered you to take the necessary steps towards success. Keep in mind that it is okay to include any missteps you made along the way because this will emphasize your resiliency in that situation.
   • For example, you learned how to be frugal and efficient. You applied this skill at your internship, which impressed your bosses and got you a full-time job.
6. Identify the lesson you learned. There should be some moral or guiding lesson that you can derive from your story. This might be a lesson that anyone can benefit from, thus making your personal experience a story that can lead others in your example.
   • Think about how this story made you who you are today. For example, you might say that the practical financial skills you learned from long-term unemployment taught you how to manage money, a skill which you used throughout your career.
   • You may also try to come up with a motivational statement or metaphor that sums up your experience. This can be a saying that you then pass on to your team, employees, or mentees. For example, you might say, “Even in our darkest moments, we can learn valuable skills that will help us succeed not just in our careers but in our lives.”

Empowering Yourself as a Leader

1. Ask yourself what unique value you can bring to the situation. When you draw on your personal narrative for support, you should analyze each situation separately. Use your narrative to guide yourself. Look towards your personal story to uncover what skills you have that can help your current team, project, or situation.
   • Try visiting with a mentor or someone who knows you well. Exchanging ideas with this person about your value can be very helpful.
   • Always read back through your daily journal to try to find inspiration from your past.
   • If you’re struggling with a situation, you might write about it in your journal. The process of writing might help you work through the problem.
2. Motivate your team with your narrative. If your team is facing a problem or your employees are lacking morale, you might take one of your narratives, and share it with them. This story should be relevant to the current situation, but it can also be personal and inspirational. Be sure to include some information about your insecurities and mistakes as well or your story might come off as bragging, and this would have the opposite effect on your team.
   • For example, if your team is struggling to meet a deadline, you might consider all of the different ways that you made deadlines in the past. Consider what you did in those situations, and decide if those stories can help inspire your team.
   • Stories at the beginning of a project should be motivational whereas stories later in a project should be strategic. For example, at the beginning of a project, you might tell a story about how hard work and motivation helped you persevere through a difficult work load. In the middle or end, you might state ways and methods you used to reach the deadline.
3. Listen to others' stories. You can learn as a leader by listening to others' stories as well. This will create a bond between you and your team. It can also help you learn from someone's different experience, and if they ask for your advice, you can provide meaningful guidance from your own experience. You can also use this as an opportunity to encourage someone else and give them confidence in their abilities, which will help to motivate your team.
   • Instead of interrupting their stories to tell your own, start asking meaningful questions that will help both of you explore the present issue. For example, you can ask them “why do you think you were unable to get a response from the client?”
   • Reflect back what the other person is saying to demonstrate that you understand. You can say, “What I’m hearing is that you were frustrated when your team members were not listening to you.”
4. Build on your similarities with others. An effective leader develops a team that feels like a community. To do that, you will have to build on your team’s similarities to form a cohesive group. As a team building activity, try to encourage your team members to look towards their own narratives for inspiration. You can ask them:
   • “Have any of you ever encountered a problem like this? Can you share how you overcame it?”
   • “Can you all share a story about a mistake or personal failure in your past?”
   • You can even start by telling your own story, then encourage others to follow up by asking, “So what do you think of this? Have you ever experienced something similar?”

Becoming More Mindful of Your Story

1. Meditate. Mindfulness is powerful tool to help you realize what makes you unique. Spend at least five minutes a day reflecting silently about yourself. Try to find a calm, quiet place where you can reflect without interruption. Sit with your eyes closed for between five and twenty minutes. Breathe deeply, and focus on your breath to help clear your mind. Once your mind is clear, you can start reflecting on your personal narrative.
   • Keep in mind that this takes patience and practice. Try not to get discouraged if it takes several attempts for you to get your brain to slow down and stay in the present moment.
   • If you have never meditated before, you can learn by watching a YouTube video, downloading a meditation app, or by taking a mindfulness class.
   • Sometimes listening to peaceful music or nature sounds can help you clear your mind.
2. Find a coach. Narrative coaches are a type of personal coach who can help guide your story by asking relevant questions and helping you realize the larger picture. Narrative coaches can be found online or through motivational coaching services. Some narrative psychologists at universities or through private practices may also offer coaching.
   • Coaches will often ask you questions to force you to consider elements of your narrative that you may have missed or glossed over.
   • If you're struggling with finding a positive framework to view your past, a coach can help you. They can also teach you positive thinking techniques to shape future narratives.
3. Read narratives of other successful leaders. The best way to learn the structure, themes, and metaphors of a successful leader is to look at how others have done it before you. Look to historical leaders as well as current business leaders, political leaders, and other success stories. Read their narratives, and reflect upon how their stories relate to yours.
   • For example, if you work in management, you might read the memoir of a Fortune 500 CEO to learn their secrets.
   • If you are struggling with a personal crisis, such as mental illness or a death in the family, you might read the memoir of someone who went through a similar ordeal.
   • If you are struggling with balancing family and work, you could look for stories from others who managed to succeed in both their personal lives and career.
   • You can even ask people who are close to you about how they overcame difficult situations.

Tips

• Your narrative should be as much for your benefit as the benefit of others. The value of narrative psychology is allowing you to find order and meaning in your life, thus empowering you to take control.
• It can take you a while to come up with a large body of stories. Keep at it. You will start seeing the connections in time.
• Stories do not necessarily have to follow the traditional narrative arc, as long as there is some sort of conflict and resolution.
• Don’t be afraid to talk about times when you weren’t able to overcome your mistakes. Instead, talk about what lessons you learned from that experience and how those lessons helped you overall.

Warnings

• Stories you tell others should always be truthful and honest. Do not lie while creating a narrative, as it will not help you or others.

References

See also

• Find Female Role Models
• Stop Being a Follower and Start Being a Leader
• Remain a Leader
• Make People Want to Follow You
• Learn an Attitude of Leadership
• Gain Respect As a Leader
• Build Leadership Skills
• Become a True Leader
• Become a Mentor and Influence People
• Be a Transformational Leader

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