Become a Foster Parent

Foster parenting is a unique and rewarding experience that almost any adult can participate in. If you want the chance to make a lasting impression on a child's life, and grow as a parent and individual, the foster care application process is relatively straightforward. Here's how you become a foster parent.

Steps

Starting the Application Process

1. Contact your local or state agency that oversees the foster care system. The foster care process is usually administered by the state, which means it changes based on where you live. Contact a local foster care agency to learn more about what it takes to adopt a foster child, and what it's like. There should be an orientation which you can attend which provides you with an overview of the process.
2. Know some of the things that make a good foster parent. There is no single prototype for the "perfect" foster parents. In fact, they come in many shapes and sizes. But there are several things that set outstanding foster parents apart from the pack:
   • Family stability and personal maturity
   • Being a steady advocate for children
   • Being a "team player" with your family and your welfare worker
3. Know what is not needed to become a foster parent. There are several misconceptions about who you need to be or what you need to have in order to become a foster parent.
   • You do not need to be married in order to become a foster parent
   • You do not need to own or live in your own home
   • You do not need to be wealthy
   • You do not need to already be a parent or have kids of your own
   • You do not need to be young
   • You do not need to be a stay-at-home parent
4. Begin attending your pre-service parent training classes. Before you officially begin the application process, states usually make you complete a pre-service training class designed to teach you about the sorts of challenges foster youth routinely face. These are free through your state agency and are usually scheduled at times that will work for people who work 9 to 5 jobs. These classes usually run 4 - 10 weeks, but states will vary.
5. Start the application process. After you've completed your pre-service training, you'll be asked to start the (sometimes labor-intensive) process of filling out paperwork and due-diligence. During this phase, you may be asked to provide:
   • Income verification through your employer. (Again, you do not need to be wealthy to become a foster parent, and many expenses associated with the raising of foster youth are reimbursable.)
   • Criminal record screening at all three levels — local, state, federal
   • Letters of reference from your employer as well as from personal acquaintances
   • Age verification by birth certificate or other legal means

Finishing the Application Process

1. Meet your caseworker. After the pre-screening and pre-service training have been completed, you get to meet your caseworker. It's very important to get off on a good footing with your caseworker; be honest, open, and thoughtful about your experiences and your motivation behind becoming a foster parent. After you meet your caseworker and complete an interview with her, you'll be expected to do the following:
   • Be responsive to the caseworker's requests in a responsible, timely, and open manner. Honor your caseworker's requests for documents and information.
   • Pledge to maintain confidentiality about children in foster care as well as the details surrounding their family.
   • Accommodate your caseworker on required home inspections and criminal background checks.
2. Do a home study. In some states, a home study is required. A home study is a document your caseworker compiles intended to learn more about you, your family history, and your personal relationships. A home study is conducted through a series of questions and interviews, and can last anywhere from three to six months. Generally, a home study includes:
   • Family background and any relevant parenting experiences
   • Education and employment
   • Personal relationships and social life
   • Information about your home and the neighborhood you live in
   • Your reasons for wanting to foster parent and your readiness to do so
3. Wait for your caseworker to make his or her recommendations. It can take upwards of a year from when you first contact the foster parent agency until you are given a foster placement. During the waiting period, while your caseworker is making their determination, it's a good idea to stay busy and receptive to any questions your case worker might have.
   • During this time, do as much research as you can about the types of issues foster children will have. Some come into the system abused — sexually, mentally and physically — and this presents serious issues for the both the foster youth and parents.
   • Contact your state foster parent association and talk to other foster parents for insights and advice. Network with them and find out firsthand what's it's like to be a foster or adoptive parent.
   • If a caseworker comes to you with questions which you think may put your eligibility in doubt, never lie. If your caseworker believes you to be deceptive or dishonest, your eligibility will suffer. Most issues that come up can be worked around. The best policy is openness with your caseworker.

Receiving and Parenting a Foster Child

1. After your application is accepted, start preparing your home and life for the addition of a child. Your local agency will require a number of safety features in your home, such as smoke detectors, fire extinguishers, and the like. Don't let a simple oversight derail your plans so late in the game! Follow the safety recommendation for the child's sake and for yours.
2. Learn as much as possible about the placement process from your placement coordinator. Your placement coordinator should give you information about how other children in your home could be affected by the placement, and what the chances of the child returning to its birth family are. It's important to remember that upwards of 50% of foster youth are reunited with their birth families after being placed in foster care — being a foster parent often doesn't last long!
   • If you are feeling weary, unsure, or unwilling to accept the placement, know that you have the right to back out of the placement request before it's finalized.
3. Examine your family's budget. While there are no requirements to be a foster parent concerning age, race, preference, gender, or religion, you must be able to financially support yourself and any members of your current household. Make sure you understand the financial responsibilities of being a foster parent.
   • In most states, foster children are covered with Medicaid cards, which includes medical, dental and counseling services.
   • If the child needs daycare, this is a cost you'll probably be responsible for. Again, this differs from state to state; some states include a monthly stipend for childcare.
4. Buy the items that you would need to care for a child in the first 48 hours they are in your house. A few sets of clothes for the age group you are willing to care for, age appropriate toys, food, hygiene items, etc.
5. Begin living with your newly-placed foster child. Understand that the initial transition can be quite rough for the foster youth; not everything is going to be rosy right from the get-go. But with a little bit of gumption, and a lot of patience and love, your foster youth should ultimately understand that your intentions are pure and that your love is real.
   • Form emotional bonds with your foster youth, but don't expect them to stay for very long. Foster care can last a matter of weeks or months, but it rarely drags on forever. More than half of foster youth are eventually reunited with their natural parents.
   • If reunification with their birth parents is no longer possible, you may be able to Adopt from Foster Care. This may only happen after the legal rights of the parents have been officially severed.
   • Continue to work with your caseworker to help meet the day to day needs of the foster youth. Stay in touch with your caseworker. They will help you better provide for your foster youth, if only with moral support.
6. Avoid foster parent burnout. Give yourself some TLC. In order to physically, emotionally, and psychologically provide for your foster youth, you need to provide for yourself. To help avoid burning out, enlist the help of babysitters and respite care.
   • In most states, babysitters 18 or older can legally sit foster youth, although your particular state may have a provision against it. Ask your caseworker for more details if you are unsure.
   • Respite care is a temporary handing over of the foster youth to another caregiver in order to give the foster parent(s) a break. Again, check with your caseworker for more information about respite care.

Tips

• Talk with your family, friends and spouse about your idea; it will help tremendously if the people around you accept and encourage your idea.
• Visit helpful websites to gain more information. They will be listed in the "Sources and Citations" section of this article.
• Make time for yourself - foster parenting is stressful and you won't be effective if you are overtired or overstressed.
• Shop second hand stores and search for donated items. The purchases you make to care for a child will probably not be repaid by the system, so shop frugally if need be.
• Nurture and love the kids as if they were your own, make them feel like they belong.

Warnings

• Taking in foster children is a full time job. You will be rewarded over the long run, but sometimes it's hard to see the silver lining. Make sure you have a good support system in place for your family.
• Being a foster parent is not a way to make money, the reimbursement rate will be lower then what the average person pays for gas in a week or two - you will not get rich by caring for foster kids.

Related Articles

• Develop Positive Relationships With Children
• Provide Foster Care for a Child

Sources and Citations

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