Break Up a Couple

Though breaking up a couple is a dangerous endeavor, if you think you really belong with a person who is in a relationship with someone else, then it's worth giving it a shot. To break up a couple, you have to proceed with caution by first planting the seeds of doubt before making the break-up inevitable. If you want to know how to do it, just follow these steps.

Steps

Planting the Seeds of Mistrust

  1. Though you may not think there's anything objectionable about breaking up the person you like and his or her significant other so both of you will be happier, the world may not see it that way. Also, mature and intelligent couples can see your motives clearly and easily, especially if you have exhibited any jealous to one of the partners, claim to be a close female friend, or an ex-girlfriend.
    • If this is your goal, make sure you're completely certain it's the right thing. Are you willing to sacrifice your dignity? If the break up is caused by an outside force (you), and not a natural problem in the relationship, the couple may still harbor feelings for each other which might grow stronger over time.
  2. Become the confidant of the person you want to be with. If you want to break up the man or woman of your dreams and his or her significant other, then, like Othello's Iago (but far less devious), you have to get in the middle of the couple, slowly but surely. To do this, you have to get the person you like to trust you and to begin to open up to you. Be Understanding, agreeable, and sympathetic, show that you're a good listener. At first, the person may not open up to you about his or her relationship, but that time will come.
    • Just one warning: there's a difference between being the confidant of your love interest, and in falling into the Friend Zone with that person. Make sure you don't act too buddy-buddy or friend like with the person or he or she won't ever be able to see you as a love interest. If one of the partners finds out, you are sure to fail. This does not work 99 percent of the time.
  3. Let the person open up about the flaws in her relationship. Every relationship has flaws, and the chances of a couple past honeymoon stage and dating for a few years breaking up is low. The worst thing you can do is openly criticize the person's relationship, criticize the person's partner, or generally make the person feel like he or she is in a doomed relationship. This will make the person feel angry, defensive, and more determined than ever to make things work. No one wants to admit to a failure, especially not in a relationship, so you have to wait for the person to naturally admit a problem on his or her own.
    • You can start by just letting the person talk about the relationship. Ask innocent questions. For example, if you know that her band was playing at a local venue the night before but that her boyfriend didn't show up, innocently ask if he liked her show.
    • Or just ask questions about how the person's night went. If she seems kind of upset, just say, "How was your weekend?" and wait for her to reveal the rest.
    • Ask, "How did that make you feel?" Keep it broad with general questions that encourage the person to keep talking -- and to start seeing the cracks in her relationship.
    • Unfortunately, you may be trying to break up a couple that is in a great relationship, which would make it difficult for the person to reveal anything negative. But if you've made yourself the person's confidant, it's less likely that the relationship is in great shape.
  4. Play the devil's advocate. Once the person does start revealing the flaws with his or her relationships and all of the problems with his or her partner, the worst thing you can do is to completely agree or to say, "You deserve so much better than that." This will make the person see that you have ulterior motives. Instead, act a bit withdrawn or confused, forcing the person to talk for longer and explain why he or she is really unhappy -- and why his or her partner isn't perfect.
    • If the person has to explain his or her frustration further and you keep him or her talking, then he or she will notice the problems even more.
    • Just keep the person talking any time something negative comes up. Questioning his or her thoughts will make him or her explore them even further.
    • Not criticizing her relationship will also make things better down the line. If you do end up together, no one can tell her that you sabotaged the previous relationship. When you ever openly criticize one of the partners, especially if your plan has failed, it proves you were trying to screw up the relationship.

Making the Break-Up Inevitable

  1. Be the person that the person you like is looking for in a relationship. Without completely changing your personality, you can try to be the person that the person you like is looking for in a relationship. If she complains that her boyfriend never asks about her feelings, make sure to do that. If she wishes her boyfriend shared more of her interests, go hiking or check out the new vegan cafe she was raving about with her.
    • This isn't as manipulative as it sounds. If you want to be with the person for a good reason, then you should want to be a good partner to her, right?
    • Don't make a big deal about it. If she complains that her boyfriend never does her favors, bring her lunch or coffee when she's having a busy day at work. This may backfire because she or he might just be using you as an emotional dump.
    • Don't go over the top with this. Doing these things and being a good person for the person you like will naturally make you start to fall into the boyfriend or girlfriend role, but don't do anything too extreme, like get her flowers, or tell her how beautiful she looks. It becomes obvious if you do something romantic like buying her extravagant things so be careful. If you're a girl trying to break a man up with his wife, he will push you away if you buy him things because that is openly telling him you like him, unless he is a user.
  2. Make yourself more present. This doesn't mean that you should be at the person's beck and call or to be a lap dog. It just means that slowly, you should start hanging out a little more...and then a lot more. Offer to give her a ride to class, grab a casual bite, and propose an innocent game of tennis and until you've become a part of her everyday routine. Make sure you're not getting obsessive and that your love interest is making some of the calls.
    • Don't be too dependable. The person should see that you have a life of your own -- beyond trying to break up the relationship.
    • Being more present will help the person see what it would be like to be in a relationship with you. This should give her a good and more certain feeling about you.
  3. Exploit the couple's weaknesses. Every couple has it's own weakness. Let's say they're the kind of people who tend to fight when you're out at big, drunken occasions. Perfect -- invite them to your next party. Let's say the woman of your affection's boyfriend drinks spends too much money -- tell him about a new gadget he can't live without. Let's say you like a guy with a girlfriend who is too obsessed with her appearance; take her on a shopping trip.
    • Once you pinpoint whatever is wrong with the couple -- and there may be many, many, things -- you can go about making it so much worse. Turn that little crack into a gaping hole until they can't help but fall in.
    • If one person in the relationship wants to get married and the other is reluctant, find ways to bring up the subject of marriage. Talk about your parents' anniversary, invite them to an engagement party, even send them a diamond ring catalog through the mail.
  4. Try to separate the members of the couple. Nothing will make a couple lose interest faster than having a good time hanging out separately. Invite your love interest's girlfriend out for a girl's night -- or better yet, introduce her to a guy she'd click with even more. Do what you can to keep the two people apart as much as possible, making sure they actually like what they're doing when they're apart.
    • Don't be too obvious about it. Just casually introduce some activities that would naturally keep them away from each other.
  5. Butter up the friends of the person you want to be with. If you really think that the person you like is in a terrible relationship and that he'd be better off with you, then chances are that his buddies feel the same way. If that's the case, then you should be friendly with his friends without making a spectacle of yourself, just making them think you're a cool person. This may lead them to ask your love interest, "Why are you still with that loser? Why don't you go out with [insert your name here] instead?"
    • When you're hanging out with the friends of your love interest, don't hang on to him too much. Don't make them think that you're out for their friend; just make them notice that you'd make a great match with their friend.
  6. Don't be needy. There's a difference between becoming a closer friend and being available, and acting like you want to hang out with the person you like all the time, in spite of his or her relationship. Don't try to hang out on obvious date nights, special occasions, or times when you know the couple is spending time together. This will make the person you like suspect that you'd be needy and clingy if you were together -- and nobody wants that.
    • You can make yourself available without texting or calling the person you like every five minutes. Set your trap and wait for her to come to you.
  7. Make the person you like jealous. Nothing will make the person you like realize what he'll be missing faster than seeing you with another guy by your side. This doesn't mean you should use somebody to make the person jealous; just spend more time with a close friend of the opposite gender, or go on a few harmless dates and report back about it. You'll be surprised by how quickly you'll be seen in a new light, and the situation will grow more desperate. It's good to remind the person that you won't be around forever.
    • This will make the person think, "Oh no! This great friend I have may get snatched up...oh wait, why should I care? Could this mean that I have feelings for him?"
  8. React appropriately during the break up. Unless it's very obvious that the person is ending the relationship for you, you should not swoop in immediately and start trying to date the person. Instead, you should be a good friend, a sympathetic listener, and just a shoulder to cry on as the person deals with the sad feelings that naturally accompany any break up -- even if it was meant to be.
    • Tell the person you're always there if he or she needs to talk, and that you can't imagine what he or she is going through.
    • Still, don't bad-mouth the other person. Calling the person's ex a jerk or worse right after the break up might make the person angry.
    • Know what would cheer up the person. Give her a silly stuffed animal or take her out to a comedy. Just don't do anything too romantic yet.

Making Your New Relationship Last

  1. Don't jump in right away. Though you may have waited months (or longer!) for the relationship to finally end so you can be with the person you like, this doesn't mean that you should move in all of your things, start hooking up, and introduce the girl of your dreams to your parents and fifty closest friends. Instead, give it time. Even if you have decided to date right away, don't spend every moment of every day together -- just see the person a couple times a week, giving her time to heal.
    • The best thing to do is to give the person time to heal and not to date at all until he or she is ready. But if feelings are serious, this is easier said than done.
  2. Avoid talking about the ex as much as you can at first. Though you and your new boyfriend or girlfriend might have initially spend hours dissecting the previous relationship, this is not the time to rehash it. Though you shouldn't pretend the person's ex doesn't exist, you should avoid talking about him, or definitely asking about him, until the person has had enough space -- this could take months, or even over a year.
    • Of course, if the person really wants to talk about the past relationship, you shouldn't change the subject. But you can say that you think, in order to focus on your new relationship, you should leave the past behind as much as you can until you have firmer footing.
  3. Enjoy your new relationship on its own terms. Don't get stuck in the past, and don't worry so much about being the perfect person for your new partner -- just be yourself. If you were really meant to be together, then you'll find a routine that works for you and will find a path to true happiness. Don't compare yourself to the ex, try to be the opposite of the ex, or try to be something you're not.
    • Sure, you might have used some devious tactics to make your new relationship happen, but if you want it to last, you should think only about the two of you being together -- and nothing else.
    • Even if you had a deep friendship before, you should find new things for you to do together as a couple that can define you as an item, not make you think of the past.
  4. Don't be paranoid about the past or it won't last. You may find yourself in a hard position. Your new love interest has broken up with an ex for you -- who is to say it won't happen again if he or she finds a person who is even more right for him or her than you are? Well, no one can promise that it won't happen, but to stay sane and have an amazing relationship, you have to tell yourself that the previous breakup was meant to be, and that you and the person you're with really belong together. It won't happen again.
    • If you always ask about what the ex is up to or act jealous when the person spends time with people of the opposite sex, you'll be dooming your relationship to failure.
    • If it's really meant to last, then in the long run, you'll find that you'll stop worrying about the ex or the previous relationship. But this could take months -- or even years. But if you're meant to be together forever, burying the past will be worth it.

Tips

  • If a relationship is already falling apart, it'll fall apart without any help. Consequently, you might not have to do anything. Maybe you shouldn't do anything because it is morally wrong to get in other people's affairs.
  • If you are friends with the couple you are breaking up, you will be forced into a secret relationship.
  • You have to hang out with one of them (never the other). Make sure you always bust in to their conversations! Never let them talk to each other alone. Always text one of them so they won't be able to talk to the other.
  • If you want to go out with one of them, give them time if they were dumped, to recover. Chances are, if they just broke up, they will know it's because of you.
  • Do not share the fact you are trying to break them up with anyone.
  • Don't tell your friends or their friends that you are trying to break them up.

Warnings

  • It's extremely hard to break up a couple that has just gotten together and is still in the honeymoon phase.
  • If you are doing the last step be careful that nobody finds out that you are doing this, be careful that you don't get caught doing the last step.
  • Be careful not to get caught in the middle of a lover's quarrel.
  • Someone may discover your plot.
  • This is considered morally wrong but you may not feel guilty.

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