Convince Your Mom to Buy Clothes You Like

At some point, everyone wants to start choosing what clothes they have to wear everyday for themselves. Unfortunately, you and Mom may disagree about your fashion choices. And if she's the one paying for your clothes, she usually gets the last word. Thankfully, there's plenty of ways to still get the clothes you want, even if she doesn't like them very much.

Steps

Getting Your Mom to Buy Clothes that Are Right for You

  1. Wear other stuff that you once bugged your mom to buy. Prove to her that you’re going to get a lot of use out of the clothing you want now by showing her that you still wear clothes that you wanted really badly in the past–even if you hate them now. If you can’t stand being seen in them, save them for the weekend and family functions, when you’re less likely to see schoolmates.
  2. Build your own style. Feel free to take fashion cues from your friends (it’s perfectly normal for you and your friends to influence each other),[1] but stop short of wanting something just because that’s what they’re wearing these days.[2] The more you follow your friends’ lead, the less likely your mom will buy the clothes you pick out if she doesn’t like them, just because she doesn’t think your fashion choices are your own. Dress the way you want to dress and convince your mom that she won’t have to buy you a whole new wardrobe the next time your friends switch theirs.
    • If you’re adopting a certain style, start small. Say you’re Goth; your mom might refuse to buy you really ornate outfits right away because she thinks this is just going to be a “phase” for you. Choose simple ways to dress Goth in the beginning. Stick to black jeans, black shirts, black jackets, etc. Prove to her over time that this is more than just a phase. Convince her that more elaborate clothing won’t be money wasted.
  3. Know what you want ahead of time. Convince your mom that this isn’t just an impulse buy. Go to stores on your own or ask your mom to take you so you can just look at stuff. Try clothes on and see what you like. Then tell your mom you’ll think it over before asking her to buy anything. Show her that this is something you really want and not just a passing fancy.
  4. Know exactly why you want stuff. Ask yourself why you like these clothes in the first place. Based on your answers, come up with clear reasons why it’s important for you to have them. Use these reasons to convince your mom. Show her that you’re putting actual thought into this, like an adult.[2]
    • For example, if she argues that these clothes are too “old” for you, tell her that you’re only growing older; mention things like job- or college-interviews as reasons why you need to look more mature. Or, if you’re talking about clothes for sports, show her why these clothes are better than others;[3] if they’ll last longer or prevent injury, point that out to her.
  5. Admit it if something’s “too” this or that. Think of why your mom might object to something before you show it to her.[4] If the clothes you want really are too expensive, revealing, or outrageous, agree with your mom when she says so. She might still say no in the end, but she’ll probably put more thought into it if you show her that you have, too–which means she might end up saying yes.
  6. Tell your mom what you don't like. Stop your mom from trying to force some other piece of clothing on you as a substitute. Explain to her exactly why you don’t like it, whether it’s the material, the cut, the fit, or whatever.[5] Let her know what you’re definitely not looking for and why so she knows what not to suggest.
  7. Offer your mom choices. For every item that you’re shopping for, find a bunch of stuff you like; if you’re only looking to buy one shirt, pull several off the rack. Show them all to her. Let her choose from your selection. Make her feel like she’s still the one in control by giving her the final say.
    • Improve your chances of getting what you want by including things that you know she won’t buy. Want a bikini that’s a little revealing? Add an even skimpier bikini to your pile. Want something that costs more than she’d like? Find stuff that costs even more than that so what you really want seems cheap in comparison.

Buying More Expensive Clothes

  1. Watch for sales. Check the store’s website. Go through circulars that come in the mail or with newspapers. Keep an eye out for the clothes you want, as well as the brand.
    • Also ask your mom to become a rewards member at the store. This way she may get an even deeper discount when your clothes come on sale.
    • Be patient. If the clothing you want is for summer or winter, wait until the end of the season for the store’s clearance sale. You may have to wait until next summer or winter to wear it, but if you really love it, that shouldn’t matter.
  2. Pitch in. Help your mom pay for the item.[6] If you have a job, contribute your own money. If you receive an allowance, give her money that you’ve saved or tell her she can take the money out of future allowances.
    • If you don’t have any money of your own, offer to work for it. Volunteer to do extra chores around the house or anything else to make your mom’s life easier.[6] Pick chores that she knows you hate; that will show her how badly you want those clothes!
  3. Consider it a present. Think back: have you already asked your mom to get you something for your birthday or any gift-giving holiday like Christmas or Hanukkah? If you have, ask yourself which you’d rather have more: this piece of clothing or that other thing. If you’d rather have the clothes, tell your mom that you’d be happier with this if she hasn’t already bought the other item. If you haven’t asked for anything yet, tell your mom that this would be perfect.
  4. Promise not to wear it all the time. The more you wear clothes, the quicker they’ll wear out, so don’t plan on wearing it every other day. Tell your mom that it’ll just be for special events: school pictures, holidays, dates, etc. Assure her that it won’t be in constant risk of being ruined by some jerk at school who likes to spray people with ketchup bottles.
  5. Beware of brand names. Don't ask your mom to buy you something just because it was made by So-and-So.[7] Remember that your mom can probably think of a dozen different brands that came into fashion and then went straight back out of it, whether they were Members Only jackets or Starter jackets. Ask yourself if you'd still like these clothes if they were from a no-name brand. Think of why you like it and share that with her.
  6. Agree to grow into it. Your mom probably doesn’t want to spend a whole lot of money on one piece of clothing if you’re still growing. Tell her that you’re fine with buying a larger size. Prove to her that you really do like this piece by showing her that you’re willing to wait before you can actually wear it.
    • If you still have a whole lot of growth spurts ahead of you, think of any younger siblings or cousins who could wear it as a hand-me-down. Convince your mom that it’ll continue to be used even after you outgrow it.
    • Since it’s hard to predict how your body will change, be careful with what clothing you choose. Try on sizes that fit you now for a sense of how a larger size will fit you later on. Don't buy anything too form-fitting, since it might not fit your form so well in the future.
  7. Make up for the price. If you’re out shopping for a lot of clothes all at once, count this one piece of clothing as your “big buy.” Then think of ways to keep your mom from spending too much money on other stuff. Show her that you know she has to stick to a budget and that you’re trying to find ways to help her do that.
    • When you’re looking at other clothes, check the price. If you can find something like it that costs less, go with that.
    • Think of what clothes you already own. Do you still like them? Do they still fit? If you’re still happy with them, tell your mom that you don’t need to buy five or six new shirts just because it’s a new school year. Settle for three or four.
    • Offer to go to a thrift store to shop for the rest. Yes, some people act snotty about buying secondhand clothes, but don’t let that stop you! You can find a lot of cool stuff there that you won’t find anywhere else, which means there’s less chance of everyone at school wearing the exact same thing as you. Plus, lots of people donate clothes they’ve never even worn.

Getting What You Want from Your Mom in General

  1. Be good. Do your chores, finish your homework, and keep your grades up in school. Show your mom that you’re responsible. Do what she expects you to do without having to be told. Then go the extra mile and help around the house with things she didn’t even ask you to do. Prove to her that you’re mature and deserve to be taken seriously when you ask for things.[6]
  2. Wait for the right time to ask for stuff. If your mom already seems stressed out, wait for another time. Catch her in a good mood, when she’s relaxed and more willing to actually consider what you want. Don’t blow your chance by asking her for stuff when she’s already grumpy about something else.[6]
  3. Be grateful when you ask. Make your mom feel like she’s appreciated and not just an ATM. Show her that you’re thankful for what she’s already done for you before asking her for anything more. If she’s already bought you something special recently, or if you know she has a big bill to pay or something like that, let her know that you think about these things. Don’t just say, “Hey, Mom, can you get me this?” Instead, ask her if she has a minute. If she does, tell her that you know she has bills to pay, or you know she already bought you that other special thing, but if it’s possible, could she maybe also get you this?[6]
  4. Give your mom time to think. Before you ask for something, tell her that she doesn’t have to answer right away. Let her know what you’d like from her, and then ask her to think it over, for as long as she needs. Don’t demand an instant answer; if you do, she’s more likely to say “no” right away, even if she isn’t sure why, just because she doesn’t have time to think it through.[6]
  5. Be mature. If your mom says no, nod your head and say okay. Remember: you could still convince her to change her mind later, but she’ll be less likely to if you throw a tantrum now. Instead, respect her decision. Show her that you take her seriously. This way she’ll take you more seriously, too, so when you ask her again later, she’ll really think about it instead of just repeating “no.”[6]

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/teens/peer-pressure.html#
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 http://www.beinggirl.com/article/how-to-talk-to-your-parents/
  3. ↑ http://www.recipegirl.com/2011/08/15/do-kids-really-need-100-sneakers/
  4. ↑ http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1102011133
  5. ↑ http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/social/letting-kids-choose-what-they-wear/
  6. ↑ 6.0 6.1 6.2 6.3 6.4 6.5 6.6 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
  7. ↑ http://www.complex.com/style/2014/12/dont-be-a-logo-wh-re
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