Convince Your Parents to Let You Dye Your Hair

It's just dye and will eventually wash out. No problem, right? Not exactly. Talking your parents into dying your hair can be a difficult task because they want to keep the nice, natural image of you. However, you may be able to convince them by making good arguments in your favor, being willing to compromise, and doing your research before you launch into the discussion.

Steps

Doing Your Research

  1. Do your homework on the hair dye. Decide what color(s) you want to dye your hair. Figure out which product you want to use. Look for reviews to make sure you get a quality brand.
    • Some dye products are linked by brand to shampoo/conditioner/sprays, and it may help your case to pick a brand your parents use to wash their own hair.
    • Stain protectant for your skin and hands is not always sold with the dye package. Look on the label/box to be sure.
  2. Learn about the risks involved in dying your hair. Hair dye contains hydrogen peroxide, which is damaging to your hair. It's unlikely that dyeing your hair once will cause any sort of serious damage, but be aware that it is damaging.[1]
    • The chance of you being allergic to hair dye is low, but it's still worth doing a patch test before you apply the dye to your head. Just put a small amount of dye on your wrist or ankle, and wait 24 hours to make sure there's no allergic reaction.
    • There are many peroxide free hair dyes. They may not be as cheap as drugstore box dyes, however they are much better for your hair.
  3. Make sure whatever you're doing is within the dress code for school/work. You don't want to get in trouble. If your school doesn't allow unusual colors, it's also very unlikely your parents will give you the okay.
    • Additionally, be at the right age. If the package says "Not recommended for use if under sixteen years of age," do not use it as a thirteen-year-old. You could get serious hair follicle damage.

Making Good Arguments For Hair Dyeing

  1. Bring up the issue delicately. Start by bringing up the subject of hair dye. Ask them a question at dinner like "What do you think about hair dye?" Then tell them you've thought about it a lot and you want to try dying your hair. Tell them exactly what you want to do to your hair. Avoid saying things like "all of my friends are doing it" or sentences to that effect. It will automatically trigger "if all your friends were jumping off a bridge" type responses.[2]
    • Keep your focus on "I" statements, which will sound less accusing or demanding. For example, you could say "I am getting older now, and I really want to experiment a little bit by dyeing my hair" rather than "You should let me dye my hair because I'm getting older."
  2. Explain how it's not permanent. Truthfully tell them that the hair dye you plan on getting is not permanent. Add that it will come out little by little, each time you wash your hair. You can say something like "I've found a temporary hair dye that I think would let me experiment with my hair without making any drastic changes." This will ease a lot of their concern, because they'll think that even if they don't like it, it's only temporarily.[3]
    • Make sure you find a dye that isn't permanent before you talk to them about this, so you aren't lying when you say it.
  3. Offer to pay for the dye and supplies. If you say that you're prepared to pay for it all, it shows them that you're committed and responsible. And it always helps your case when money isn't coming out of their pocket. For example, you can say "I've thought about this a lot and so I'm willing to pay for the dye and all the supplies myself."
  4. Tell them you're prepared for the worst. If your parents don't want you to dye your hair because they're afraid the dye will ruin it, bring up the fact that you'd rather learn your lesson and suffer the consequences than not dye it at all. You can say things like "I've researched what to do if the dye doesn't look right," and "I know how to take care of my hair after dyeing it to reduce any damage." Let them know that whatever the consequences are, you'll deal with them.
    • It might help to explain that you understand how it can go wrong, how the color might not turn out right, or how it can damage your hair. Research these things before hand and what possible solutions there are.
  5. Explain your reasons for wanting to dye your hair. Don't just tell them you want to dye your hair, explain what caused you to feel this way. Some people like dyeing their hair because it allows them to exert more control over their appearance. Some people like it because a change in appearance makes them feel more confident. Figure out your reasons and then explain them.[2]
    • One example of a responsible reason to dye your hair is that you might like to have the experience of dying your hair now, while you're young and don't have a lot of responsibilities. That way in the future, you'll know if you want it or not.

Compromising on the Issue

  1. Let them know you'll dye it back if it goes badly. Often, parents will agree if you give them a little of what they want. Such an example would be: if you dye your hair and it turns out badly, you'll dye it back to its original color. Tell them "I'm fully prepared to dye it back to my original color if I don't like the color or it looks bad."[4]
  2. Suggest getting it done professionally. If your parents are worried about you potentially messing up the dyeing process by doing it on your own or with a friend, this might be a good option. Say "If you're worried about it being done badly I could always get it done professionally instead. Then there's no worry about the quality of the outcome."[5]
    • The only downside to this is that getting your hair dyed professionally will cost a good deal more.
  3. Allow them to have some input on the color choice. Offer that you both have to agree on the color you get. That allows you both to be in control. You could say "I'll try a more natural color close to my hair color first if you'd be more comfortable with that."[6]
    • If you're having a tough time getting your parents to let you dye your hair the color you want it, ask them to let you dye your hair the same color as it already is. Once this is accomplished, you will have already dyed your hair, and they won't have any defense saying that the color you want to dye your hair will damage it
  4. Ask if you can partially dye your hair instead. Instead of dying your whole head, ask to put in highlights, lowlights, or streaks. You can say something like "Maybe instead of dyeing the whole thing, I can just dye the ends. That way it's less different and it can always be cut off if it doesn't work out." Purple can still pack a punch from underneath your natural color. If you have long hair, then you can compromise with just dying ends. If it doesn't turn out well, or if you or your parents don't like it, then you can always cut it off.
  5. Ask if you can get colored extensions instead. If they are adamant against dying your real hair, suggest buying and coloring clip-in extensions so they can see how the color would look. It's not permanent and you can easily change the look if you or your parents don't like it.

Tips

  • Act like an adult when you ask, and they may want to treat you like an adult, by allowing you. Don't whine or raise your voice.
  • If they say No, tell them that you understand and you'll live on with it. This will show them how mature you are. It makes them likely to reconsider after a while, too, if you mention the topic discreetly in following weeks.
  • Be mature about it. Don't whine, beg, or ramble random facts. Have a layout of what your going to say in mind. And if they say no, ask them later down the road, even more prepared.
  • Don't automatically expect your parents to say yes. If you tell them to think on it and let you know (if they don't seem to like the idea of dyeing your hair at first), they will think you are more mature and open minded to getting you hair dyed.
  • If they say no, ask them if you can dye the ends of your hair to start, and eventually ask them if you can dye it. This will warm them up to it slowly.
  • If you can find cheap hair extensions, ask for a real dye. If they say no, tell them about the hair extensions.
  • Don't be surprised if your parents say no, if they do try to realize why they said it, what would you say if you were a parent in that situation?
  • If you want a non-permanent dye that will not damage your hair, look up some ways to dye it with Kool-Aid.

Warnings

  • Always follow the manufacturer's directions on the package. They made the dye, and know what to do with it.
  • Know what you're doing. There's an unwritten set of "rules" and consequences for hair dye: black hair with plain bleach turns orange, some shades of ash brown or ash blond can tinge blond hair green, etc. If you're not sure about something, ask a professional.
  • Make sure to have an adult or friend that knows what they are doing help you, or do it for you.
  • If your parents still won't let you dye your hair, do not go out and do it without them knowing! This will only make them angry with you, and you will most likely never get to do something like this again until you are an adult. Just be patient and wait until you are allowed.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://www.instyle.com/hair/11-things-know-dyeing-your-own-hair#249799
  2. ↑ 2.0 2.1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fighting-fear/201209/the-proper-way-argue
  3. ↑ http://www.racked.com/2015/6/11/8757391/guide-at-home-hair-dye
  4. ↑ http://stylecaster.com/beauty/coloring-your-hair/
  5. ↑ http://www.fitandfabliving.com/beauty/hair/4857-8-tricks-to-make-your-hair-color-last-longer
  6. ↑ http://www.thefashionspot.com/beauty/594169-dying-your-hair/2/
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