Convince Your Parents to Let You Get a Lip Ring

If you're under 18, you'll need consent from a parent before getting a lip ring. Even if you’re over 18, your parents might still want to give their permission before letting you get the piercing. Many parents have misconceptions about the dangers of lip rings. You can calm their fears by explaining to them the relatively safe procedure, and low risks of complications if the piercing is well cared-for. But it also helps if you're in good standing with your parents, which gives them reasons to trust you to take care of the piercing. By approaching the situation carefully and reassuring them with accurate information, you'll have a good chance of making them comfortable with the idea.

Steps

Giving Good Reasons for Permission

  1. Work on respecting their rules. Your parents will be much more likely to let you get a piercing if you show respect for the way they’re raising you. You can do this by speaking politely to them, showing appreciation for the time they spend with you, and following their basic rules such as curfew and chores. The more you respect your parents, the more they’ll respect your wishes.
  2. Do your best in school. If you’re meeting or exceeding your parents' expectations for you in school, they may be more open to allowing you the freedom to get the piercing. Some parents may be concerned that body art is a way to rebel against them. If you’re doing well in school, you’re fulfilling their wish that you succeed academically, which is hardly rebellious.
  3. Get in the habit of keeping your room tidy. If you don’t take good care of your belongings, your parents may not trust you handle having a lip ring. Be sure to keep your room clean (put your clothes away, make the bed). This is a good way to demonstrate that you’re responsible and well organized, which should count towards your parents' agreeing to the lip ring.
  4. Practice good general hygiene. Brushing your teeth, showering, and combing your hair regularly are good ways to show your parents that you can take care of yourself. This way they will be less concerned about your keeping the lip piercing clean to prevent infection.
  5. Consider using a testimonial. If you know someone who has a lip piercing, and is happy with it, ask them if they’d be willing to talk to your parents about the experience. A simple phone conversation to answer some questions could do the job. And if you’re close friends with the person, invite them over, and make it clear to your parents that they’re coming over especially to talk about the piercing.
  6. Talk about the history. Many people may be unaware that body piercings are an ancient form of self-expression. Tell your parents that the ancient Egyptians, Israelites, Greeks, and Romans were all known to practice piercing in one form or another and for different reasons, one of which was to show their status within a group.[1] Knowing this may help keep them from having the misconception that piercing is just another meaningless fad.
  7. Explain that you are trying to express your true self. Try to have a talk with your parents about how important it is for a teenager to be able show who they are by their style. To try to get them to relate to you, ask them about how they expressed themselves when they were your age, and if they remembered having a desire show their individuality.
    • Try bringing up your reasons by saying something like: “I don’t want to do it to seem rebellious--piercings like this are so common these days that they don’t intimidate anyone,” or “You wouldn’t think twice about letting me get an earring. This isn’t much different, and it just feels like a better way to express my style.”

Discussing Health and Safety

  1. Discuss the risks of infection. Your parents are likely to have concerns about how having a lip ring might affect your health. They will appreciate it if you’re up-front and open about the matter, which will show them that you’re not hiding anything.
    • Highlight the low risk of infection,[2] hepatitis, and nerve damage as the main concerns.[3]
    • Emphasize that these complications can be prevented by using a certified, licensed piercer,[4] ensuring you have the proper immunizations for tetanus and hepatitis B,[5] and by regularly cleaning the ring and the piercing.[6]
  2. Offer reassurance about swelling. Mention that noticeable swelling is an expected aftereffect of a lip piercing, and that to make room for the enlarged area, a longer-than-usual piercing called a post is put in place until the swelling goes down. But add that while the larger post can cause gum damage, its potential to do so is limited since it will be replaced by a regular-size piercing after the swelling goes away in six to eight weeks.[7]
    • Try to play down the change in appearance by observing: "It won't look or feel much different from a fat lip after a sports accident, or a mouth sore."
  3. Set things straight about tooth chipping. If your parents say that they’ve heard that lip piercings can damage your teeth by chipping them, point out that it is actually tongue piercings that cause the most tooth chipping.[8] While there may be a slight risk of tooth damage while eating, depending on the type of lip ring you wear, you can calm any concerns your parents may have by agreeing to remove your ring before meals once the piercing has healed.
    • You can reassure them by pledging something like, "I'll get in the routine of taking out the ring by making notes for myself as reminders."

Choosing a Piercer Together

  1. Find a certified body piercing specialist. Assure your parents that any risks associated with lip piercing are significantly reduced by choosing a piercer certified by the Association of Professional Piercers. This organization screens and approves piercing businesses according to their compliance with general standards, including licensing and the use of proper sterilization facilities.[4]
    • Try asking your parents to do a search with you for an APP-certified piercer in your area, using the organization’s member search page.[9]
  2. Have your parents attend a consultation with the piercer. If they seem to be unsure about letting you get the piercing, ask your parents to go with you to an initial consultation with a piercer at an APP-certified business. The piercer should explain the procedure, possible complications, care for the piercing, and a timeline for healing.[10] Having a clearer understanding of these aspects will help your parents decide, and most likely reduce their fears about the risks.[4]
  3. Make sure about proper sterilization. While at the piercing shop, ask an employee about recent spore test results. Every reputable piercing business should have these. They show proof of the proper working order of the autoclave, which sterilizes the piercing equipment and jewelry.[4]
    • Make a point to ask about these test results yourself. This will demonstrate to your parents that you're taking the whole process seriously, and are genuinely concerned about health and safety issues related to the piercing.
  4. Give them time to think about it. Try not to give your parents the impression that they need to decide right away. If they feel that they’re being pressured to give you an answer, there’s a greater chance that they’ll just say “no.” Remember that this is probably a major decision for them, so give them time to think it over and discuss it with others. This also shows them that you’re mature enough to be able to wait some time for an answer.
    • For example, you can introduce the idea by saying something like, “Mom, I’d like to ask you something pretty serious. I know this might be a hard decision for you, so please don’t feel like you need to decide right away. You’ll probably want to take some time to think about this.”[11]

Tips

  • Body piercing can be expensive--the cost of getting the piercing and the ring itself can top $100.[12] If you’re unable to pay for everything, offer to do some work around the house in exchange for their helping you out with the total cost.
  • If you are the artistic or creative type, you may find it useful to use this as an angle as well by telling your parents that you see yourself as a work of art, and that you're asking them to allow you to decorate yourself.
  • Try a clip-on first. This could give you and your parents a good idea of how a lip ring could look. Your parents might then be more willing to let you get the ring, if it changes your appearance less then they were imagining.

Related Articles

Sources and Citations

  1. ↑ http://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/08/07/body-piercing/
  2. ↑ http://www.aafp.org/afp/2005/1115/p2029.html
  3. ↑ http://www.mass.gov/eohhs/docs/dph/com-health/oral-health/piercing-oral-health.pdf
  4. ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 https://www.safepiercing.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/APP_Picking_Web.pdf
  5. ↑ http://www.thekidsareallright.com.au/2012/healthandwellbeing/to-pierce-or-not-to-pierce/
  6. ↑ http://www.safepiercing.org/learn/piercing/oral-aftercare/#!/~/product/id=23786889
  7. ↑ http://www.infinitebody.com/oral-2/lip-faq/
  8. ↑ http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Body-piercing/Pages/Risks.aspx
  9. ↑ http://www.safepiercing.org/get-involved/locate-a-member/searchable-member-database/
  10. ↑ https://www.safepiercing.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/APP_Picking_Web.pdf
  11. ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/hanaan-rosenthal/advice-for-teens_b_2037523.html
  12. ↑ http://health.costhelper.com/body-piercing.html
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