Date Online Safely

Maybe you love the idea of online dating due to the convenience in your busy schedule, as well as the global outreach in meeting many different people. However, are you a little uncomfortable with the idea of Internet dating due to your safety? If you make sure you do it right it can be well worth your time but. It's easy to be duped by online suitors.

Steps

  1. Beware of addiction. It is easy to get too involved in online dating relationships; for some it can lead to an addiction. Some find themselves enjoying the flirtatious advances of the opposite sex, both in chat rooms and with on-line dating services. People get sucked into on-line relationships and become addicted to the world of on-line dating and chat rooms. For some it becomes an obsession. The classic story is a person who finds himself or herself divorced after 20+ years, followed by a string of unhappy relationships, and eventually finds solace in a chat room.
  2. Know that online communities can be full of deceit and lies due to the anonymity they provide. You can create a persona quite different from yourself. You can act out a part, instead of being a real person. There are characters online ready to prey on the unwary and naive.
  3. Realize that online dating is every bit real. There is addiction, obsessiveness, vindictiveness, desperation, impulsiveness, and even downright guilt. Love is a powerful emotion. Do not follow your heart over your head. Don't journey outside your comfort zone and be overtaken by a seductive search for true companionship.
  4. Be smart. Tell yourself, "I'll keep the relationship at the e-mail level before deciding to talk on the phone!" Yes, take baby steps to discover if you have a great deal in common. You can enjoy chat rooms, but be aware where it can lead you if you are not savvy.
  5. Do your research. Why did you get into online dating--a success story from a friend, or just no luck anywhere else? Lots of books have been written on this subject. You must read a few if you are thinking of entering this medium.
  6. For parents, know that there are millions of predators out there, so put the right safeguards in effect to protect your family. There are online safety tips that must be followed for children, not just yourself.
  7. Be realistic. It's easy to build relationships via the internet. The attraction to online dating is how easy it is to fill out a profile and suddenly have a list of "Top 10" matches. If you're too needy, you think how close you are to long walks on the beach and even experiencing a falling star together! Realize that for every one of the stories that you hear about meeting and dating the perfect man, there are stories of relationships that end traumatically when a date's wife answers the phone. Don't let an online dating experience go from the chat room to the psychiatrist's couch; temper your expectations and be prepared.
  8. Take it slow. Communication has gotten much faster with mobile phones, SMS, internet relay Chat, instant messaging, ICQ. You can be surfing the Web and up pops a message from a potential lover. The nice thing about Internet dating is that you can do it at your own pace without taking time away from work. But don't let that rush you into anything. There are unfortunately a lot of opportunities for the unsavory members of our society.
  9. Consider creating a safety plan. Online dating has led to kidnapping and murder more than a couple of times, so make a plan with your friends.
    • Take a picture of the date's license plate and their face to send to a friend.
    • Ask your friend to call your twice within the date, preferably a couple hours a part.
    • For both calls and for texts, create code words that sound like every day sentences for in case you feel unsafe, in case you are alone with the date and they won't let you leave, or if you're in the process of being kidnapped.

Tips

  • When you have decided it is time to meet, tell them you are going to conduct a background check. Be honest and let them know your security is most important. Ask for their full name, age and city they live in. You can Google them and use a paid background service to make sure they have no criminal history and that they are divorced. This also is a good way to be sure you are dealing with the real person. If they have a problem giving you this information, then maybe they have something to hide.
  • Create a Google Voice number to give out. It is free and keeps your identity private. Do not give your phone number out until you are 100% certain they are safe and you are interested in a relationship.
  • Be sure when you meet for the first time to designate a public place to meet. Do not have them come to your home to pick you up or meet at their home.
  • Start the relationship with emails and ask them important information you want in a relationship, be honest.
  • Keep your Profile completely private and anonymous.You do not want anyone to know who you are until you are ready to tell them.
  • It can take 3 or 4 meetings or more before you really get to know enough about someone to feel secure enough to provide them with more personal information. Take your time and make sure, do not rush this process.
  • Your profile should only have updated and accurate pictures that show your full length body and a facial closeup. Be honest (no airbrushing). You want them to want to meet "YOU" not be upset when they get there and feel duped.

Warnings

  • Never give any money to the person.
  • When you meet him/her in person, never go alone! Always take someone with you.
  • Never tell them your address. They could turn out to be not what you were looking for, and they could stalk you or worse.
  • Many more millions are entering online dating unarmed and this is why the reported number of dangers is increasing. Many stories of unsavory online dating liaisons are taking place. Imagine the horrible dates and unpleasant experiences that are not being reported, because people are either too embarrassed or afraid to share their online dating experiences with anyone.
  • The first couple of dates should always be in a public place.
  • Never let them help you move when you meet for the first time

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