Safely Meet a Guy Through Internet Dating

Internet dating can lead to finding your love, and many times leads to marriage. You can find a friend, or it might lead to disaster and even death. It is extremely important to heed the "Red Flags" that pop up in your mind when you sense or hear something that just does not seem right about the person on the other end. You should realize that they may not always be the person that they present over email. Be aware! Be wary! Be alert! Be safe!

Steps

  1. Find a dating site. There are many out there, with more new ones starting up often. Find a site that is reputable. Stay away from the sleazy sites. It would be good to find a site that specializes in your interests such as gay dating, black dating, and even specialized religious sites.
  2. Remember that most of the sites will offer you a free trial period. If they ask for your credit card, be assured they will charge you after that trial period 'unless' you make sure you cancel prior to that date (see tip below).
  3. Register with honest information about yourself. Do not lie about your weight and interests, or show a photo of you when you were much younger. After all, the idea of Internet dating is to actually meet in person eventually.
  4. Remember never to give out personal information. No telephone number, no address, no last name. If things go well, you can do this later.
  5. Make sure that when you connect with someone to keep the conversation on email for awhile. Create a new email address for yourself to use only for dating sites. Do not give out your personal Internet address.
  6. Try to find out as much as possible about the other person, via email, so you can get a sense of what he is like. With practice, you can tell a lot about the other person from how he responds to questions, and what he says on email.
  7. Do not give out your phone number; instead, ask for his. Call him, but make sure you use the phone blocker if you use your home phone. If you have a cell phone, use that! If he refuses to give you his phone number, be wary. He may be married or have ulterior motives, but he may be just as wary as you are. Instead of talking on the phone, suggest a meeting in a neutral place. (see below)
  8. Be wary if he asks if you have a web cam. Most of the time, men with web cams want to show themselves naked. This is a great big "Red Flag".
  9. When you talk to him on the telephone, and, after a bit of chit chat, he suddenly starts talking about sexual things, or asks you what you are wearing, hang up. This is a "Red Flag".
  10. Some people don't like to chit-chat over email for long periods of time or give out their phone numbers. Don't be put off if he asks to meet you. Ask him where he would like to meet. Be wary if he suggests meeting at his place or yours. This is another Red Flag; stop communicating with him immediately. Always meet in a public, neutral place, preferably during the day.
  11. When meeting him for the first time be sure to choose a public location, where there are plenty of people around, such as a restaurant or cafe near a busy street. Only after you have gotten to know him well and feel safe around him should you invite him over dinner, etc. Also tell a friend or family member that you are meeting someone for the first time, where you're meeting, and what his name is. Also give them his phone number if you have it.

Tips

  • Many marriages have come out of Internet dating. There are also some very nice and honest people out there, who are searching for their mates. Just be cautious and careful.
  • When you meet in person, make sure you meet in a public place, like a library, or a fast food place, away from where you live. If you want to be really safe, invite him to meet you at an event where friends of you are going, i.e. a showcase of a band at a lounge, a community event at a ball park / community center etc. That way, if he seems creepy or just not your type, you don't have to leave alone.
  • When you first begin communicating, save a copy of his profile to your computer. If he turns out to be someone you need to have barred, and he logs in again under another identity, you'll have information from his profile to use in comparison if you suspect he's contacting you with a new id. If he continues to harass you under a new identity, contact the dating provider and explain the situation. They will take steps based on the person rather than the online id.
  • Remember, do not believe all he tells you, and do not tell him all about you!
  • Be very wary of someone (especially a man) who wants to move too quickly toward marriage. IF he is actually single, which he may not be, it is quite probable that he will turn into someone else after the marriage. Take your time and get to know the person!! The consequences could be devastating.
  • Never tell him you are very lonely, or are alone in the house, or give out any personal information. This is how girls are lured to meet, and at times killed.
  • When you leave, make sure he is not following you home. If you suspect he is, then take the long route and don't go home. Go to a coffee shop or someplace public and tell them you are being followed. If you have a cell phone, dial 911 (note that even expired cell phones can still dial 911).
  • Be smart, be aware, be cautious. You might just meet the perfect guy for you. Love is out there if you are lucky enough to find it.
  • Make sure you do not forget to cancel after the trial period. Register and then cancel, both at the same time. This will allow you the free trial and cancel you 'after' the trial date.
  • another smart thing to do is run a background check on him to make sure he says who he is and if you know where he say he work call his job and verify he actually works there if not don't meet up with him. RED FLAG!
  • "Red Flags" mean danger...if you sense something is wrong, it might very well be wrong. Remember all you have to do is shut off the computer to get rid of him, but erase him first. You can even notify the Internet provider about him. They will bar him, but most of the time he will log on again under another identity.
  • Read his emails to you carefully. If his spelling is poor (and he has a spelling checker), or his grammar is really bad, he may not be as educated as he might have told you he was.

Warnings

  • Remember, you would not let a stranger you met in the street into your house. So should you not allow internet strangers, either.
  • Many men have many identities at the same dating site. They use many different names, ages, and locations.
  • The bottom line is be careful! Use your judgment and trust your instincts.
  • Some men pose as women so be careful about what you say to women also.
  • Some men say they're single/divorced when they are still very much married. Try to find as much information as you can about them using a search engine, and end communication with them if you don't like what you find.
  • If he insists on meeting you, and you are a legal minor, tell your parents. Do not hide the emails, or the people from your parents. Be open with them. Show them anything that is received that is sexual in nature.

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