Write a Good Online Dating Profile

Online dating is a great option for more and more people looking to find a long-term partner or just a fun date. Your online profile is what will help people decide whether to contact you or not. To create a good dating profile you’ll want to write an attention-getting bio. Attach a handful of unique photos to your account as well. Keep your profile positive and you soon will be attracting all sorts of potential partners.

Steps

Writing A Winning Bio

1. Choose a catchy yet simple screen name. You want a name that rises above the masses while still representing the true you. Avoid sexual references. Turn away from anything boring. Go for a name using wordplay or humorous puns. The utterly silly and goofy can also work. Pop culture handles are okay too, especially if they are meaningful to you.
   • Hybrid names work well. Mix together a couple of your interest areas into one name. For example, HockeyFlier or RoseIvy.
   • Resist the urge to simply tack on a number to the back-end of your handle. It can come off as boring, so go the creative route instead.
   • For security and safety reasons, do not use your full name as your online ID.
2. Write an attention-grabbing headline. Consider the 100-character box at the top of your profile as an opportunity to make an exciting first impression. Choose a favorite movie quote or a line or two from a book that is meaningful to you. Put down a brief summary of your most unusual experience or perhaps a funny conversation.
   • You might open with, "In the immortal words of Doc Holliday, "I'm your huckleberry." Or, maybe I could be your huckleberry if you are the right person!"
   • Don’t try to include everything in this initial area. You’ll have plenty of space later to elaborate on certain aspects of your personality. Avoid list-like writing whenever possible.
   • It might be helpful to consider the type of person that you would like to entice with your profile. What will they respond to? That is the type of information that you need to include either here or down the page. When in doubt it is always better to cast a wide net and sort through the responses.
3. Tell a story. The idea here is to show how your interests shape your life instead of just listing everything out. In the main text area provided by the website, write a story in which you weave in details about your personality and hobbies. The more details that you can provide the better.
   • For example, if you enjoy dancing and travel you could describe your ideal salsa dancing date in Spain. Or, if you’ve actually had an experience like this, write about the exciting sensations that you felt at that moment. What were the sounds like? How did the people behave? Make sure to end your story with a memorable final line.
   • If you want to get really creative, tie your bio statements in with your photos to present a story in multiple parts. Or, consider your photos to be illustrations of your bio section.
   • You can also create a list of “wants and don’t wants,” but more and more people are ignoring these sections, comparing them to grocery lists.
4. Use vivid language. Try to create captivating visuals with your word choice. Instead of mentioning how you were “looking at something” write about how you were “instantly entranced” by that same thing. Be aware that certain words are more likely to garner positive responses. Women get more attention by describing themselves as easy-going or sweet. Men do better with optimistic and confident.
   • Humorous language benefits all sides as both men and women respond positively to puns and jokes found in profiles. Just avoid using too many exclamation points at the end of your jokes as excess punctuation turns people off.
5. Be open and honest about your intentions. If you are looking for a quick hook-up, be upfront and say so. If you are looking for a long-term commitment, don’t be afraid to let everyone know. This along with including information about your age and occupation gives potential partners a better idea as to whether or not you would be compatible.
   • If you want something long-term it is still best to resist mentioning how many kids you want or how much money you want your partner to make. These topics have a tendency to drive people away from online profiles.
6. Keep your bio or about me section relatively brief. All of the text on your page should total three short paragraphs of less. Anything beyond this, no matter how interesting, could be considered excessive. Remember that you want to pique their interest and get them to message you. Keep trimming down your profile until it is crisp and confident.
7. Polish and copyedit your profile. After you finish an initial draft of your profile, hit the save button, and leave the page. Come back to it after a day or two. Focus your revisions on streamlining content, checking your grammar and spelling, and deleting all typos. Most people tend to skip a profile that looks poorly put together.
   • Ask a close friend to take a look at your profile. Have them send you suggestions and ideas for further revision.
8. Shorten everything for mobile apps. For your written content, include an unusual quote or perhaps a song lyric. Tell a good joke or a quick story. Again, avoid summary here as it will only make people lose interest. Add in a selection of 4-5 photos to round out your profile.

Choosing Successful Profile Pictures

1. Look into the camera. Eye contact establishes trust and makes you appear more reliable and friendly. The best photos will show you gazing straight ahead and giving your full attention to the camera and, by proxy, to the current profile reader.
   • Sunglasses are a great look for many people, but they also make you appear closed-off and cold. Limit yourself to only one sunglasses shot in your profile.
   • A natural look is always nice with facial shots. But if you simply feel more comfortable and "you" in make-up, then by all means put some on. Just make sure to keep it light and as close to natural looking as possible.
2. Smile! Polls show that 96% of people respond more positively to a big smile (showing teeth) than to a sexy closed-mouth smirk or pout. Smiling makes you more accessible and it conveys your happiness to others. It is not necessary to include only smiling photos as that may seem odd with action shots, but do try to trend toward the smiley.
3. Be the only person in your primary profile pic. Your main profile image should be all about you. It will let your potential admirers know how to identify you immediately amongst your other photos. Use a shot that shows off your best physical attributes. The more of your face and body that is visible the better.
   • It is really tempting to use a selfie, but try to find a photo alternative. Selfies can seem a bit anti-social and the mirror ones often appear staged.
4. Throw in a few “action” shots. Add a few photos of you doing something that you love. Do you love baseball or softball? Show a picture of you in the batting cage. Do you rock climb? Post a pic of you heading up to a peak. These shots will draw in people with similar interests to you.
   • The action shot is a good opportunity to show your whole body as well, which is a near-to requirement for online profiles.
5. Include “social shots” of you out with friends. Add one or two shots of you with a group of friends or family. Avoid the late-night bar pics and instead post something showcasing your extended social network. This shouldn’t be your first pic, but it is a good middle option.
   • Consider blocking out your friends' faces if you know that they prefer to keep a low profile online. You can do this with free online photo editing tools.
6. Use only high-quality photos. No one wants to look at a bunch of blurs. Post images that are clear with a good, distinct background. Bright colors and lighting are especially good. They are automatically associated with happiness and summery fun.
   • When asked to compare the people in summertime versus winter pics the summery photo subjects were consistently judged to be more attractive and fun.
   • Professional photos can be a good option as long as they are not awkward or too staged. However, avoid using a professional photo taken with a flash as it can add up to 7 years to your appearance.

Avoiding Common Profile Pitfalls

1. Focus on the positive. Revise your profile and edit out all depressing or downer material. Most people are not looking for a partner in misery. It helps to focus on what you do want, not on the deal breakers. Tell your readers that you “love hiking and being outside” not that you “hate the indoors.”
   • Don’t discuss your ex in your profile. Nothing kills a romantic mood quicker than rehashing the past. These are all conversations that can take place if your relationship progresses.
   • Don’t write about how you are so surprised to be considering online dating. This can come off as dismissive and superior to those folks who are considering it a viable option (which includes you at this point!).
2. Stay honest. The goal is generally to meet up with someone so if you lie it will eventually catch up to you. Look for someone who accepts you as you are, not some fantasy version of you. Provide an accurate age or age range. Include recent photos on your profile.
3. Be confident, not arrogant. Posting an online dating profile can make you feel vulnerable and some people respond to this by pushing aside modesty. Try to avoid the appearance of bragging in your profile, especially regarding your personal appearance. Write about your hobbies without overly praising your own abilities too.
   • You might say, “I find that playing the piano is a great way to unwind at the end of the day. I’m actually pretty good at it too.”
4. Use sexual innuendos sparingly. Unless you are after a one-night stand and nothing more, be very cautious about how you employ sexual references. Everything from your online handle to your hobbies could be interpreted the wrong way unless you closely edit them.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. It is not good if your final profile reads like an old-fashioned dating ad. Even if you like long walks on the beach, you may want to leave that for a later conversation. Focus instead on what makes you stand out from the crowd.
   • Instead of saying that you enjoy eating with friends perhaps mention your favorite restaurant and dish. Or, recount a favorite dining story.
6. Leave nothing blank. “I will tell you later” comes across as more lazy than mysterious. Fill all of the blanks in your profile out, even if you have to get a bit creative with your information or approach. This tells profile readers that you are willing to put the time and effort into a potential relationship.

Tips

• It may help to dress up a bit before writing your profile, almost like getting into character.
• Make sure to update your profile on a regular basis. Add any new stories and check your messages frequently too.

Warnings

• Remember that you are dealing with strangers online. Guard your personal information closely. Check your photos to make sure that they do not reveal phone numbers, addresses, etc.

Related Articles

• Date Online Safely
• Place a Personal Ad
• Write a Dating Profile when Dating After a Divorce

Sources and Citations

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See also

• Balance Others' Feelings with Your Own
• Support Someone Whose Child Is Hospitalized
• Stop Bad Examples from Hurting Your Relationship
• Talk About Daily Stress with Your Partner
• Give a Guy Space
• Choose a Dating Site Profile Picture
• Change Someone Else's Behavior
• Know when Someone Likes You
• Understand What a Relationship Means
• Get Someone to Like You

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