Date a Guy from Another School

Making a relationship work is always hard and takes plenty of effort. Relationships can be even harder if the person goes to another school. Finding the time to meet a guy, let alone date him, can be tough when you have different academic and social lives. Whether you are looking for a new guy or just need some tips to keep your relationship going, dating a guy from another school is possible.

Steps

Making Time For Each Other

1. Schedule your dates in advance. It’s easy to get wrapped up in daily life at school. Since you won’t see your guy everyday, make sure to schedule time for each other after school or on weekends. Work out your other commitments so that you get to see him at least once a week, if not more. Having a plan to see each other will give you something to look forward to and make the relationship exciting.
   • Try setting aside a specific time to see each other. For example you can plan to meet up on Saturday afternoons. If this doesn’t work for your busy schedule, you can make fun plans as time allows.
   • If your relationship is long distance, consider booking bus or plane tickets far in advance. Ideally, you will see each other as often as possible, but that can be challenging if your schools are many miles apart. Reserve seats in advance to lower the cost of transportation.
   • Make your dates special. Since you might not see each other often, do something special. Bring a him a present or dress up for date night.
2. Have impromptu meet-ups. If his school is close to yours, try meeting him on a day you are both free after school. Text him to see if he is available (or surprise him!), and meet for an after school snack.
   • Consider meeting up after school regularly. You could take turns going to see each other a couple of times per week.
3. Go to his school and vice versa. You probably don’t need to bring him with you for a normal day of class, but find out if he can attend a school event. Dances, fairs, and shows are great opportunities for you to get to know each other’s friends and school environment.
4. Do an activity outside of school together. If you live in the same area, join a club or take a class together. Not only will you learn something new, you'll be spending time with him. This is a good way to explore common interests and develop a stronger relationship.
   • Find a new hobby. You don’t have to join an organized group. Try going on hikes or playing a game of tennis.
   • Volunteer. Volunteering is nice way to give back while spending time together. Check out a local animal shelter or community garden.
5. Be involved in each others lives. Learn about his family, friends, and school life. Cultivate genuine interest in what he does when you are not together. Remember to volunteer information of your own as well. Allow him to get to know you by introducing him to important people in your life.
   • Attend important events together. Invite him to family gatherings and birthday parties.
   • Ask each other interesting questions that let you learn more about the other person. For example, “What is the scariest thing you’ve ever done?”
6. Study together. As long as you don’t get distracted, studying together is a nice way to get schoolwork done and spend time together. Go to the library during final exams or try having homework sessions during the week. You might be able to help each other with homework if you take the same subjects.

Maintaining Your Relationship

1. Establish trust. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Since you will spend the majority of your time away from your new beau, it is important that you genuinely trust each other. Knowing that he is in a different school, surrounded by unknown people has its pros and cons. On the one hand, you won’t hear any gossip about your relationship. On the other hand, you may feel that you don’t see each other enough to develop a strong bond. Either way, it is important that you both feel confident in your relationship and that you really believe your guy is doing what he says he’s doing.
2. Stay in contact. Despite not being able to see him all the time, you can still keep up with him. Call, text, or even email him. Send him a text between classes or call him at the end of your day when you both have some free time.
   • Keep it consistent. You don't have to have long, meaningful conversations all the time. Mix it up with short texts that just let him know that you were thinking of him. Tell him a funny thing that happened to you that day, or just say, "I was thinking about you."
3. Communicate more deeply. You may be making time to have regular phone conversations with your guy, but what are you really talking about? Communicating your honest thoughts, hopes, and fears brings you emotionally closer to the person, and makes for a stronger relationship. Use your time together (or on Skype, or on the phone) to truly open up.
4. Share your schedules. If your school systems are completely out of sync, communicate about upcoming stressful periods. These might include final exams, end of year projects, holidays, and school events. Discuss your school schedules in advance. That way you can be either prepare for less communication or prepare to help each other get work done.
   • For example, if you have exams, while he has a holiday, he can come over and quiz you on your work.
   • Consider using technology like Google calendars to sync your schedules.
5. Handle gossip graciously. People at school may say many things about your relationship, especially if they don’t know the guy you are dating or if he is from a rival school. Rumors and gossip can be hurtful, but try your best not to lash out at people that make rude comments. Instead, respond with a calm tone or walk away.
   • For example, someone might make fun of you for dating a guy from your rival school’s basketball team. Stay relaxed and say something short like, “Wow, you think you’re funny,” and walk away.
6. Know your limits. It may be too much to be in a relationship with someone whose schedule is quite different from yours. Give yourselves some time to evaluate how things are going before you make any decisions. Be realistic and, don’t be hard on yourself if you realize that it just won’t work.

Meeting Your New Guy

1. Go to non-school related events. Go to parties, check out an art show, or go to concerts. These kinds of events attract people from all around town. Make it a goal to talk to new people when you attend the event, especially at parties where there are fewer people.
2. Join a youth program in your community. Step out of your comfort zone. Try joining a club that integrates students from various schools.
   • Do some research. Search the web or talk to your friends and family about opportunities for students. There may be a long list of programs to choose from depending on where you live.
3. Turn to your online social network. Look at your friends’ profiles to get a sense of the other guys that are out there. Try looking at Facebook or Instagram profiles. You might find some interesting people. Ask your friend about any guys you like to get a sense of who they are. Your friend might be willing to introduce you, or you may want to just go ahead and send a friend request.
   • Look at what is written on the guys’ profiles. You might have things in common that can get a conversation started.
   • Try being sly about getting in contact with him. If you see that he has posted on someone's page or commented on your friend’s picture, get in contact. Try saying, “Hey Alex, I saw your comment on George’s photo-- I love that song too!”
4. Ask him out. Once you’ve made contact, let him know that you like him. Expressing your romantic feelings can be challenging, but you don’t have to make a big deal out of it. Try talking to him about his interests, and suggest doing something together the following weekend.
   • For example, if he likes playing the guitar, suggest something music related. Ask him if he’d like to go to a concert or come over for a jam session.

Tips

• Remember that going to different schools means spending the bulk of your day in different environments with different stress levels. Make allowance for that.
• Don't feel left out because he has a world that you can't completely be a part of. Remember that you have one too! Enjoy the space.
• Don't forget to see each other face to face more than you talk to each other online or text each other.
• Don't go overboard. Guys like having space.

Related Articles

• Be a Good Girlfriend
• Keep a Boyfriend
• Make a Long Distance Relationship Work
• Have a Healthy Relationship

Sources and Citations

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