Get Closer to Your Boyfriend

So, you want to go to the next step with your boyfriend, but you are too scared to tell him. A lot of people have been in your shoes before! So, if you want be closer to your special someone, please read on!

Steps

Understanding your boyfriend

  1. Understand the things your boyfriend does and why he does them. For example, if your boyfriend is into sports, it's most likely because he plans to be good at the sport, he enjoys watching a game, or sports are just fun for him. If he is more of a science boy, aka an adorable nerd, it's most likely because he is smart, or finds it fun when doing math and science. He may also be interested in getting good grades for his future.
  2. Watch a game or talk sports with him. Mostly every guy is a sports fan. They love it when a lady watches a game or talks it for a little bit. It's a turn-on.
  3. Become good friends with your boyfriend's friends. Also seek to enjoy the things he does. If your BF enjoys certain things, his friends are most likely to be into the same sort of things. They may all be sports fans or be in a math group, for example. Try putting yourself with him and his friends.
    • If you don't like some or all of his friends, learn to be polite and still hang around them without causing tension. You don't have to be best friends with any of them, just tolerant.

Improving communications

  1. Talk to your boyfriend. Tell him about your day, and find out about his. If he had a bad day, find a way to cheer him up. You might give him a big hug and let him know that you care about him.
  2. Ask him directly rather than assuming things are maturing in the relationship. If you feel that you two are comfortable with each other, there is nothing wrong with asking him flat out if he wants to take the relationship to the next level. This isn't advisable to do in the very beginning of things, as you may want to be certain that he wants to commit to you in a relationship.
  3. Break the touching rule, if you know that he would be okay with it. Flirt with him—do playful pushes or pokes, and see how he reacts. If he flirts back, then great. Don't be too persistent, though, or he will probably get annoyed.
  4. Offer desirable advice. For example, if you find your boyfriend is writing a song, but he can't find anything to write about, give him some suggestions! Or, if he's planning to draw a picture or write a poem, give him ideas on what to draw, or a topic for a poem to write. However, avoid advising him where it's clear he's not interested in your opinion or meddling in his family and friend relationships.

Showing him you care

  1. Show your boyfriend that you appreciate him. If he is on a sports team, go to his games. Cheer for him as loudly as you can, so that he knows you are there for him and him only.
  2. Make time for activities you both enjoy. For example, if you don't have much to do, you can offer to throw a ball around or play basketball with him. If he's going kayaking, making miniatures or going to a rock wall climbing class, join in. You might find new activities you love, or at least, some activities to be shared together.
  3. Spend more time with your boyfriend. Invite him over to your place, or find a way to spend time with him alone or together with close friends. At the same time, respect his personal space. Don't forget that it's perfectly okay for each of you to have time alone and away from each other.
  4. Make him feel good about himself. Buy him a present. Compliment him. Joke with him. As you begin to develop more personal bonds with him, he will feel more comfortable around you.

Building trust and respect

  1. Give him reason to trust you. Have faith in your relationship, and don't cheat on him. Have trust in him and his actions—he will take notice. Remember that trust and communication are the most essential parts to a healthy relationship. A lack of trust will most surely bring a relationship to the gutter.
  2. Take note of how he treats you. Does he make attempts to make you feel better if you are having a bad day? Does he make you happy, or make you laugh? Does he respect you? If so, you are well on your way to reaching the next step with your boyfriend.

Tips

  • Be patient. Getting closer to your boyfriend doesn't happen in a day, or a week—it takes time.
  • Don't whine about things every time you are with him because that will make him depressed. Talk about fun things, ask him what he likes, what he enjoys doing.
  • If you decide to buy him a gift, don't expect a gift back. Although it would be nice, he might just be giving you a "gift" back in a form that is worth more than any material possession.
  • Don't bring up old issues or fights if they're already solved.

Warnings

  • Don't try to "buy out" your boyfriend. Don't go overboard on the chocolates or over gifts. Not only will he likely see through to you, but there is always the possibility that he will try to take advantage of your generosity.
  • If nothing else seems to work, and you two are remaining distant and wary of each other, then accept that you two are not meant for each other, and move on. It is best to end in a mutual breakup than to go out with a flash.

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